


crying lightning

by wckdroot



Series: not half as impossible as everyone assumes you are [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 13's purple sofa rights, Angst, Chameleon Arch (Doctor Who), F/F, Fluff, Post Darillium, Post-Episode: 2015 Xmas The Husbands of River Song, Post-Episode: s07e01 Asylum of the Daleks, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, They sorta hate each other for a minute, river is angry and she deserves to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:14:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 50,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24883648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wckdroot/pseuds/wckdroot
Summary: Jane Smith was a regular small-town mechanic with a certain affection for custard creams and dreams of a past she had never lived.River Song had just left her husband because he refused to try and save her from her impending death and had taken accidental refuge at her parent's home.However, maybe her wife was more close to home than she thought.Chameleon arch au after 'The Timeless Children', "The Husbands of River Song" and "Asylum of The Daleks"
Relationships: Amy Pond & River Song & Rory Williams, Amy Pond/Rory Williams, Eleventh Doctor/River Song, Jack Harkness & River Song, Jack Harkness/Other(s), Nardole & River Song, The Doctor/River Song, Thirteenth Doctor & Amy Pond & Rory Williams, Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair, Thirteenth Doctor/River Song, Twelfth Doctor/River Song
Series: not half as impossible as everyone assumes you are [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033149
Comments: 353
Kudos: 339





	1. all that i've been taught and every word i've got is foreign to me

_"Wondered if you would... take out me, take out these lifeforms, all those bodies still in the vaults, every organic cellular life form on this planet... forever. And yourself. Do that, would you?"_

  
_"Yes. This time, yes."_

  
_"Go on, then. You were the start of all of this, now finish it. Come on, come on. Come on! Come on, come on! What have you got left anyway? You don't even know your own life. Look how low I have brought you. I have won, Doctor. You may have made me, but I have destroyed you. Become death. Become me. Come on. Come on, come on!"_

  
She awoke with a tear in her eye. Always sad but always wondering why.

  
Ever since she could remember, her dreams had been plagued by so many things she didn't understand, faces she had never met and emotions she couldn't even try to comprehend. Wild dreams of dinosaurs on spaceships and stone statues that moved. It all felt too real like she had experienced it.

  
She always wrote it down. She had even tried drawing a few pictures but she always missed something. She could never recall specific features, they were always hapless outlines that she tried to form together. It was all there but the details she needed were locked away like a missing jigsaw piece. 

  
She reached for the worn down notebook that lay in between the various inventions that were scattered next to her. She was surprised she had even made it to bed usually opting for her couch. It was the first thing she had bought. Big, purple and very comfy when it wasn't littered with spark plugs and screwdrivers.

  
After writing what she could remember down, just the remnants of a conversation that seemed to tear her heart in half, and quickly showering she raced down the stairs and only nearly fell down them twice, which was a record for her. 

  
"10 points to me" 

  
She whispered as she pulled herself onto her dark blue motorbike. Ever since she had moved to Leadworth, she had spent many days travelling the empty country roads looking for adventure, something interesting. In the beginning, she had tried to in the main village but nearly ended up in the duck pond two times too many and she didn't want to make a bad first impression so close to the biscuit shop.

  
It was a short enough ride to the garage and before long she was parked up outside. She really loved it at work, the smell of metal and fuel lingered in the air and she took comfort in the familiarity of what she knew. She made her way inside and was greeted with the sight of a very out of place red Jaguar. For all the time she had spent in Leadworth it had always been old trucks and hatchbacks and even a tractor once - that one was fun. She hadn't fixed one before and she had never been known for having any resemblance of self control. With an excited jump, she inspected the car with curiosity well as much as she could without starting her up and she wasn't prepared to deal with the consequence of hot wiring a car again, they had banned her from eating biscuits at the shop for a week because of that particular incident.

  
Just as she was about to attempt to crawl under the car, flashlight in hand, she heard a pair of footsteps coming from the office. 

  
"She should be around here somewhere, you can usually hear her a mile awa-" 

  
As she went to pocket the flashlight, it fell to the concrete floor with a bang. Realising she had probably been discovered, she rose to her feet with her best smile. In front of her stood one of her best friends and a man with a nose, a very roman nose. Never one for silence she started talking,

  
"Hiya I'm Jane, my friends call me Doctor, love the car. Not a fan of the colour. Bit of a blue girl myself. Although red can be good, like red hair. Well when I say red I mean more of a ginger, gingers are the best but you get me"

  
Jane extended her hand to the one with a nose, who took it although a bit hesitantly and with a confused look in his eye, whilst Graham stood to the side of him shaking his head tiredly. She looked at his face and for some reason, there was something that she found so familiar about him like she was seeing a ghost. An awkward quiet lingered while she shook his hand enthusiastically, thinking she was probably the reason for the silence, she retracted her hand.

  
"Sorry was I being rude?"

  
"No sorry, you just remind me of a friend of mine. Rory Williams and I understand the ginger part, I married one."

  
Graham quickly interrupted to make sure that the Doctor didn't put her foot in her mouth, which was an incredibly hard job considering.

  
"Anyway as I was saying before the Doc decided to appear, she will have the MOT done and dusted by the end of the day for you"

  
"Only an MOT, are you sure? I could do something cool to it. Like what about las-"

  
"Doctor, only the MOT you know you're not allowed to add stuff to cars, especially after that incident with Mrs Johnson's car last month."

  
"Well, how was I supposed to know that she didn't want a light up rainbow on her bumper. Rainbows are cool!" 

  
With a shrug of her shoulders, she put on her best pout but Graham was immune to it no matter how many times she tried. It's not like she didn't take it off in the end, well after Mrs Johnson had threatened to sue.

  
"Yeahhh, I'm fine with just the MOT. Is it alright if you drop it back round when you have finished, it's just I am on a late shift and my wife doesn't drive?"

  
" 'Course Rory, just give Graham the address and I will bring her round when she's done." 

She placed one hand on the bonnet whilst leaving the other hand out for the keys. Rory handed her the keys but whilst he headed for the exit she called,

"What's she called?" 

He took a double take as he turned his head back around,

  
"What do you mean what's she called?"

  
"Well everything's got a name Rory, don't be rude!"

  
People always so inconsiderate to what helped them function.

  
"Errr, Melody. Her name is Melody."

  
He offered after a pause, but as soon as it left his mouth her turned several shades of red as his eyes went wide.

  
"Melody Williams? It sounds like a geography teacher but each to their own."

  
"What do you call yours then?"

  
"Sexy."

  
And with a laugh he left, leaving her with Melody as Graham wandered off mumbling something about terrible social skills and wanting a cuppa.

  
"Let's get to it then Melody Williams."

  
\-----------

  
After a few hours of disassembling Melody, checking on everything then assembling her again, she was finally done. Graham had left after signing off on the MOT and she had offered to close up. This way she could sneak some biscuits from the secret stash they thought she didn't know about. She loved working at the garage with two thirds of the fam, Graham and Ryan, and the police station wasn't that far away so Yaz sometimes came round on her lunch. 

  
Luckily enough, Rory's address wasn't far from the garage which meant she could walk back after dropping her off and get Sexy before it got too dark. That was the good thing about summertime, even in the middle of nowhere England, the sun stuck around for a bit longer. It also meant that she was less likely to damage the car before she returned it because she could actually see what was on the road. Yes, she was good at fixing the cars but she wasn't very good at driving them according to Yaz.

  
She started the engine and slowly set off in the direction of Rory's. They rarely had to take cars home to the owners but Graham knew Rory from the hospital when he spent weekends there volunteering. After losing Grace, he said that it helped him feel closer to her. For some reason, she felt a pit in her stomach and it wasn't just the usual sadness that came with thinking of Grace's death. No, it felt uncomfortable being in the car, not just because she was used to riding Sexy and she was rarely allowed to actually drive the cars she had fixed, it was like she had seen it before like she could remember holding the very keys in the ignition.

  
_"No. Real Earth, real house, real door keys."_

  
_"You're not serious?_

  
_"The car too? But, that's my favourite car. How did you know that was my favourite car?"_   


_"You showed me a picture of it once and said this is my favourite car."_

  
Whilst she had been lost within the intrusive voices swirling around her head, she failed to catch the woman that had suddenly appeared in the middle of the road. As soon as the Doctor caught sight of the figure, she pushed her foot down as hard as she could on the brakes really hoping she wouldn't be getting charged for manslaughter that night.

  
"GET OUT THE ROAD!"

  
She yelled which caused the woman to finally release her eyes from whatever she was fiddling about with on her wrist. She looked around as if she had only just realised where she was. Muttering something about removing body parts, she pulled herself from the middle of the road as if she hadn't just nearly been roadkill.

  
She managed to brake just where the woman had been stood, heart beating loudly in her chest. Jane took a deep breath as she turned to see the woman that she had nearly flattened. 

  
The first thing she noticed was the hair. It was like space hair, there was so much of it and it looked like an endless void. A blonde voluminous void. Just as she was about to look at the rest of her near victim, the sound of her angered voice hit her ears.

  
"Are you an idiot?"

  
She just stared helplessly up at the woman with space hair.

  
"Well you certainly must be, you nearly killed me. God, they let anyone on the roads these days." 

  
The woman stood rolling her eyes, whilst the Doctor struggled under her distasteful stare.

  
"Sorry, I really didn't see you, I did warn you though that's polite."

  
Oh God, she was rambling this really wasn't going to end well.

  
"Really, you warned me before you nearly killed me, very polite. God only knows why they chose to move back here. I never wanted to come back here especially now. This place is obviously still full of bumbling idiots"

  
By the time she had finished her sentence, her voice had gone up several volumes edging closer towards shouting at the embarrassed blonde that sat in the car. She heard the sound of a front door opening from behind the angry woman.

  
"What's going on?"

  
A Scottish voice called out from the door with a tall ginger woman following it, peering her head round to see Jane and the woman. Maybe it was Rory's wife, he had said she was ginger. At least the appearance of the ginger's voice had quietened the onslaught of insults that she was being subjected too. The woman had sucked in a deep breath before turning around and facing Rory's wife, almost like it was painful to see her. 

  
"River?"

  
Nothing. The first time the woma- _River_ had been silent through it all. For some reason, Jane felt some reason to protect her from that silence, it seemed poisonous.

  
"Well you see I just nearly flattened your friend and I'm really sorry and I was just bringing the car back and I didn't see her and my friend Yaz well she says I'm no good at driving em even though I fi-"

  
"Are you Jane?"

  
"Er yeah? How did you know?"

  
"I'm Amy, my husband, Rory, he called and mentioned something about an advanced apology from Graham if you ended up hitting something whilst driving it here." 

  
Jane just huffed and scrunched her nose. Now Graham was sending out warnings for her driving, she wasn't that bad really even if she did just nearly commit vehicular manslaughter.

  
"Oh so you are that bad at driving your boss has to send out apologies in advance! Should you even be on the road? God, I could slap you!"

  
Just as she was about to defend her and Graham's status of actually being best friends and not just boss and employee, Amy interfered.

  
"River! She has said she's sorry, let it go."

  
Jane could see a tear trail down River's cheek.

  
"Well-" 

  
River's voice cracks for the first time. Like nearly being killed hadn't been the worst event of her night.

  
"Sometimes sorry isn't good enough."

  
River hastily pushed past Amy into the house, leaving both women outside in the dimming light of the oncoming sunset. Jane pulled the keys out of the ignition and stepped out the car passing them to the other woman.

  
"Er, not really my place but she seems upset and not even about the running over bit. She actually doesn't seem that bothered by the whole near death experience thing."

  
Amy just laughs. It is a heavy laugh, one that seems like she is laughing at a joke that the Doctor isn't privy too.

  
"That's our River, she's probably had an argument with her husband or something, nothing that can't be fixed."

  
"I won't keep you then, Graham said he told Rory all the details so I better get a shift on."

  
The Doctor gave her a final wave as she turned and walked down the street, her long grey coat catching in the wind.


	2. you can't bribe the door on your way to the sky

_They had stood still for 24 years._

  
_For once in their lives, they hadn't run, kept their feet planted to Darillium in a tiny cottage away from time and space itself, protected under the planet's calming orange hues. The first six months she was sure he would run, take the TARDIS and disappear only to return a second later for her, but a lifetime for him. She never expected that of him and she would never ever ask that of him. But he never once looked in the TARDIS' direction, he never got that dangerous look in his eye like he needed to run. He looked peaceful and she would've destroyed the universe itself if it meant he kept that weightless look in his eye._

  
_She was truly happy for the first time in such a long 200 years or so of existence. They had danced to the calming melody of the towers and he had played her songs on his guitar as she swayed. They had grieved for all the ones they had lost including her parents, leaving out two extra places at the dinner table every time they celebrated Christmas just like they had done for him so long ago. He called her Melody and it hadn't hurt, he didn't say it with the same layer of regret and unneeded grief for his best friend's child that had been lost as his last face had. For the first time in decades she had been able to lay in his arms and whisper his real name with the comfort that they had another year, they had time for once._

  
_But time was still finite especially for the two time travellers and by the twenty-fourth year, she knew she would never have enough of her madman in a box._

  
_She would never be able to escape what she knew, Darillium was the noose around her neck and when she left and next saw her Doctor she would be stepping off the platform to her death._

  
_The Doctor hated endings. She had always known that. Maybe that's why he stuck around her, he'd already seen the ending, lived through the biggest spoiler of them all._

  
_The previous face of her Doctor never saw her again after Manhattan. After she had seen him be so human. She had seen him grieve so openly, he had just took and took and took until he could look her in the eye. She had stayed for a while with him, giving every part of herself, trying to make him okay. To make him the good man the universe wanted, not the husband she needed. It was never about what she needed, she had been selfish once and fractured of all of time, he was the only one allowed to be selfish in their relationship, to take what he pleased. She learnt that when she became River Song and it hurt like hell._

  
_Then he crashed back into her life with angry eyebrows, cross arms, a deep Scottish accent, a haircut and a new suit and it hurt less._

  
_As the final night of Darillium arrived, and he cried fresh tears whilst he pulled their scattered belongings of their home for the last 24 years into the TARDIS, she did the one thing River Song never did._

  
_She begged._

  
_"Save me."_

  
_Slowly, he turned around in the doorway of the TARDIS and placed her jewellery box on the table. It had been Amy's once, Tabatha's before that. It was one of the only physical pieces of proof of her Pond bloodline and she had kept it close ever since Amy had died._

  
_'River, you can't as-"_

  
_"What? I can't ask my husband to save me, to stop me from dying. Why am I the one you refuse, doesn't our marriage - the last 24 years, mean anything to you?"_

  
_He approached her and cradled her cheek as he swiped away the tears running freely down it._

  
_"River, what happens, it's a fixed point. I cannot stop it - I won't" She pulled away from him at his words, how could he be so cowardly._

  
_So cruel._

  
_"Fixed points can be rewritten, you are the bloody proof of that!"_

  
_"I promised you, not one word and I lov-"_

  
_"Don't you dare." She pulled the ring from her finger, the green of the crystal embedded in the metal catching in the light, and placed it into his empty hand as it reached for her. She grabbed his face and kissed it softly, the tears on both their faces clinging to each other's skin._

  
_"River please"_

  
_"No, let me have this." She carefully strapped the vortex manipulator to her shaking wrist as she wiped away her tears,_

  
_"Sweetie, let me choose for once. Every path I have ever chosen has led me too you and I never ran from it. I never ran from you. Let me just this once."_

  
_She watched as he pulled himself together, his face trying so hard to be devoid of emotion as he plastered it with a bittersweet grin,_

  
_"See you around, Professor River Song."_

  
_"Till the next time, Doctor."_

  
And that was how she had ended up in the middle of Leadworth, outside the house of her parents that she hadn't seen in 84 years. The Doctor must have put the coordinates into her vortex manipulator when she wasn't looking. She was going to remove his limbs next time she saw him. Nearly being run over by that imbecile Jane had been the final straw on her dwindling control of her emotions. River had always prided herself of her ability to hide the damage so perfectly, years of manipulation and mistreatment by Madame Kovarian and the Church as well as her emotionally challenged husband, who ran from anything broken, had manufactured her into the perfect emotionally devoid being - ~~well usually it did~~.

  
As her mother called out her name, the voice she had missed hearing for so long, she broke, one tear too many running down her cheek, she ran inside, away from her mother and the imbecile in the car. 

  
She wandered through the hallway until she reached the living room. Her eyes traced the cluttered walls of the room, pictures of her family scattering the walls and within them, so many of the Doctor's gangly bowtie form present. There were even some of her when she was Mels when she was just their morally challenged, law breaking best friend.

  
But still, there wasn't any of her as River. She understood its hard to explain her presence, really, however she still couldn't help the sharp sting to her hearts. She could never be the baby they had lost no matter how much River wished she could change that.

  
She had just flung her body down into the sofa when Amy finally entered the room and sat beside her,

  
"River, what's going on?"

  
The blonde just kept staring at the Rubik's cube and a stupid mug with a bowtie that was placed upon the table. There was so much of him in this house, so much more of him than her. Did he not realise that sending her back here would be more of a torture than a comfort? 

  
Of course, he hadn't. Even with a new face, he would never understand that his Ponds could be anything but perfect.

  
"Melody, is this about the Doctor? You know you can tell us and Ror- _your dad_ has promised to stop threatening to go all Roman on him whenever he does something stupid."

  
River managed a small heavy laugh at that. She remembered very well that Rory really didn't keep that promise especially after he'd found her and the Doctor in a very compromising position including the kitchen table.

  
"I can't tell you."

  
"C'mon you can tell me, I'm here for you always."

  
Amy gently attempted to place a comforting hand on River's arm but she pulled away. Her years of conditioning to be her husband's bespoke psychopath kicked in and her stoic mask was firmly back in place for the first time that night as she changed the subject.

  
"Can I stay for a bit? You won't even know I'm here."

  
She was tired of running. After Manhattan, she had been running faster and farther than ever before, losing herself in the culture of planets and the few solar systems that hadn't been touched by him. Losing herself in marriages to people across space, trying to force her body to feel something good. She had begun stealing again, just to try a feel the rush of adrenaline but her trigger finger had become a little too happy. It was less calculated missions with well thought out escape plans and more shoot first, ask later, more deaths caused at her hand.

  
"Of course you can, the spare room is always there whenever you need it, but Melody please tell me what's going on." Her mother's words dragged her from her spiralling, she turned to face her mother as she went to leave the room. Amy reached forward to try and grab River's hand and was surprisingly met with little resistance. River gently squeezed her hand before pulling away heading for the stairs.

  
"Spoilers."

  
\-------

  
After an hour of listening to her daughter's desperate attempt to hide her sobs and the smashing of the photo frames that she could only presume had the Doctor's face in upstairs, Amy walked out into the back garden. She placed herself into the rickety garden chairs that Brian had bought for them, gazing into the stars and let the tears fall.

  
She had seen so much of time and space, she knew so much more about life from her adventures with the Doctor but nothing would ever be able to teach her how to deal with the enigma that was her daughter. She knew she could've handled it better, handled the knowledge that she had met her daughter at Byzantium before holding her for the first time. But no matter how River or the Doctor tried to portray it, Amy would never have her baby girl back and it hurt so, so much.

  
Her daughter simultaneously existed as three different people in her mind and she knew how much it hurt River but she also couldn't stop it. She did try, she called River by her real name when it was safe enough to do so but she couldn't help the resistance from her heart every time she associated Melody with the woman stood in front of her.

  
There was Melody Pond, the baby she had carried and gave birth too and told the tale of the last centurion too to soothe her cries in the middle of Demon's run. Her brave little girl who had been exposed to the monsters of the universe so early on. Her brave little girl that she never got the chance to watch grow.

  
Then there was Mels, her childhood best friend, who had zero moral compass and an inherent need to cause trouble. Her best friend that had given her, her first sip of alcohol and had coerced her into smoking a cigarette. Her best friend, who had been by her side since they were 5 years old and had been one of the only two people to believe her about her raggedy man and his box.

  
But then there was River, and how cruel of it was it of herself to just reduce River only to the title of the Doctor's wife. The Doctor's wife that felt so much like a stranger. The Doctor's wife who carried the weight of timelines on her small shoulders. The Doctor's wife who had seen so much more of the universe than she could even imagine but still looked at Amy and Rory like they had hung the stars themselves.

  
"Amy?" Rory's voice called through the house as he searched the seemingly empty house for her. 

  
"I'm out here." Her voice broke as she answered him and she heard the pace of his footsteps quicken. As he arrived in front of her, he sunk to his knees, gently placing his hands on her face.

  
"Hey, hey what's up? Has someone died? Is it the Do-"

  
"Shut up stupid face" Amy quickly flung her arms around his neck. He was the man who had waited 2000 years for her and still to this day, after losing all they had, he never looked at her without love in his eyes even when he was handing over divorce papers. After she had calmed down and released her hold on his neck, he took the seat next to her and asked,

  
"Is River upstairs by any chance? It's just there's a vortex manipulator on the table and I could hear someone upstairs." Amy wiped away her tears as she turned her head to answer him.

  
"I don't know what's up with her, I'm her mother for god's sake and I can't work her out. She won't tell me if it's about the Doctor and she blew up at Jane outside which isn't like her at all."

  
"Why, what happened?" She quickly filled him in on the events of the night including River's rage at the blonde. They had never seen her be anything other than in control of her emotions even when staring down death itself.

  
"To be fair we were warned by Graham, but I honestly thought I was going to come home and find you all talking about how the Doctor was a woman now."

  
"What are you talking about?"

  
"Jane, she is like the literal female version of him, she wears suspenders, thinks things are _'cool'_ , happens to call her transport sexy - _oh_ , and her friends call her Doctor." 

  
"River would know. She always knows his face, remember she has all those pictures!"

  
River had shown them to her one night when she was trying to get her to stop asking questions. It wasn't Amy's fault that she believed that the spoiler rule shouldn't apply to her as her mother. She had recalled the times when she had met them and had told her how she was only missing meeting his tenth face out of all eleven of them.

  
"Well, what about if she hasn't met this one yet?"

  
"Are you trying to say that our daughter is wrong? She's a Pond, she's always right!"

  
"Of course, Mrs Williams." Rory was very good at knowing when to stop before he got himself in trouble but deep down he was still suspicious about Jane's likeness to their best friend.

  
"She's obviously no Doctor, but if she's so much alike to him maybe her and River getting to know each other could be a good thing"

  
"Amy, we can't set up our daughter with the local mechanic! She's a time traveller from outer space who happens to be our daughter but also looks older than us! Who also lives on the moon in the 51st century when she isn't shooting aliens! It's very confusing!"

  
"Well I'm not suggesting they settle down and pop us some grandbabies out and it's not like the Doctor and River are exclusive. If she's anything like Mels, which she very much is, she will be looking for somebody to keep her bed warm soon."

  
"Amy! I do not need to know or think about our daughter's sex life!"

  
"Who do you think I used to talk about ours with?!" Amy laughed as her husband's face drained of any colour as he stared into the distance. She stood and placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

  
"C'mon stupid face, we need a plan."

Maybe they hadn't hung the stars themselves but maybe they could fix their daughter's broken hearts and it would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all sm for the comments on the last chapter, they are the main reason this chapter is out earlier than i expected :)
> 
> there's not any 13 content in this chapter but don't worry our favourite time lord is back next chapter :)
> 
> twitter - @wckdroot


	3. they said it changes when the sun goes down

  
"I just don't get why she had to be rude, I wasn't rude, well I don't think so it's a bit fuzzy." 

  
Jane stood with her head under the hood of a car whilst she tinkered tiredly with its engine. After the incident the night before, she had avoided going to sleep and stayed up all night in favour of eating biscuits and thinking about the woman she had nearly killed. 

  
"Some people might think nearly running them over is rude though, I'm just sayin'!" Ryan spoke from beside her as he worked on a separate car. 

  
"It's not my fault she just appeared in the middle of the road."

  
"Are you sure she just appeared or maybe you just didn't see her"

  
"Ryan, I'm sure I would have noticed a pretty woman in the middle of the road!" As soon as the words slipped out of her mouth, a red tinge painted her cheeks as she blushed and hid her head in the engine of the car the best she could. 

  
River wasn't pretty, River was beautiful - Jane wouldn't even try and deny that. She had all that hair and a wicked look her eye that she just knew meant that River was trouble. She had always loved a bad girl though.

  
As she was preparing herself for Ryan's ridiculing for calling River pretty, footsteps echoed throughout the otherwise empty garage. 

  
"Hiya, can we help you mate?" Ryan questioned.

  
"Yeah, I'm looking for Jane." After hearing a familiar voice, she quickly jumped out from behind the hood to greet them.

  
"Rory!" She clambered over to him and grabbed his hand to give it an over excited shake. What she failed to realise was that her hands were coated in grease as she smothered Rory's hand with it. He gently pulled his hand from her grip and tried to inspect the damage.

  
"Doc, how many times? At least try and wash your hands before you grab somebody else's" Ryan pulled the cleanest rag he could find and threw it to Rory with an apologetic look.

  
"Don't worry about it, I'm a nurse I've had much worse things on my hands" Jane released his hand so he could wipe it before he continued.

  
"I just came to apologise for River last night, trust me she's not usually like this." 

  
"It's not like you're her dad, you don't have to apologise for her 'specially when I don't actually need an apology." 

  
Rory let out a soft chuckle as he asked, "I was wondering if you would want to come out tonight with me and Amy as a way to say sorry."

  
"As long as you stop saying you're sorry, it's a rubbish word. I would love it, Rory, can I bring my fam? We love making new friends!"

  
"Doc, thought we agreed fam wasn't what you're gonna call us lot?" Seemingly not hearing Ryan's disapproval, she spoke again.

  
"What time and where? Also, do they have apple juice? Ooo and do they have any biscuits? Biscuits are brilliant!"

  
"The pub at the end of the road, we will probably be in the beer garden and I would say around six. They probably do have apple juice and we can bring biscuits if you want. Will Jammie dodgers do?" Rory raised an eyebrow as he surprisingly kept up with her rambling to Ryan's astonishment.

  
"Nah, not really a fan, I will just bring my own I'm more of a custard cream woman myself "

  
"Oh okay, " Jane couldn't help but notice the slightly disheartened look in his eye as he spoke. 

  
"I guess we will see you tonight." And with that Rory walked away as Jane happily bounced about the garage with the excitement of new friends bubbling in her heart.

  
\-----

  
_06:48pm_

  
Jane hurriedly pulled her other boot on as she stumbled down the stairs and out the door to Sexy.

  
She had never been one to actually care about the time so when she had finally taken of her welding goggles and looked at the clock on the wall, she had nearly cried. It had only taken her a few minutes to pull on a new striped shirt over her regular white one and grab her favourite coat in an effort to defy time itself. And now she sat on her bike speeding down the empty roads to reach the pub.

  
When she finally reached the gravelled land that doubled as parking, she threw her helmet off and barrelled towards the entrance to the beer garden. As she stumbled through the entry, she caught a glimpse of her friends sat laughing as they saw her enter. Rory sat with his arm around Amy whilst Graham, Yaz and Ryan sat across from them.

  
"Hey, Fam!" She threw her arms around all three of them the best she could before turning towards the other two.

  
"Amy and Rory!" Jane once again threw her arms around them as they let out squeaks at the unexpected interaction. 

  
"Sorry! You're the husband - you get the hugs" Jane pulled away and patted Rory respectfully on the arm.

  
"So I'm guessing I missed introductions." She stated defeatedly.

  
"Yes Doc, that's what happens when you show up nearly an hour late." Graham berated her as she stood scrunching her nose.

  
" _Oi!_ Yaz tell him it's not my fault!"

  
"Well, whose fault is it then Doctor?" 

  
"You can't all gang up on me! What's the point of having you all if you're just rude!" Jane pouted as they laughed. Here she was trying to make a good impression on her new friends and her fam were laughing at her.

  
"I'm going getting a drink, does anyone need one?" After everyone declined her offer, Jane manoeuvred her way through the crowds and into the pub and slotted herself into the line at the bar.

  
"Jane was it?" The blonde quickly spun her head round to meet the eyes of no other than the woman who had been occupying her mind for the past twenty four hours. 

  
River.

  
"Er, yeah." Jane nodded as River glanced her eyes over her face. She could already feel the blush threatening to colour her cheeks under River's eyes. Silence awkwardly fell between them as Jane fidgeted under her scrutiny.

  
"So, what are you doing here?"

  
"Drinking my sorrows away, what else can a girl do?" Jane quickly took her appearance in from the tightly pulled black trench coat that hid whatever outfit was underneath it and the high heels that looked more fitting for a fancy restaurant rather than a pub in the middle of nowhere. 

  
But what caught her attention was the tired look in River's eyes as she met them. The redness around them, freshly devoid of what Jane could only guess was tears. The haphazard layering of concealer had done little to hide the weariness of her features but Jane didn't find it off putting. Rather she found it made her look more human, made her look more beautiful than the glimpse at her she had had last night. 

  
"Do you need cheering up? It seems like you need cheering up." Jane was surprised as the words left her mouth. She wasn't really one to offer comfort out to strangers, well to anyone in general even her friends, feelings had always been something she couldn't really understand. They were unpredictable and uncomfortable but for some reason, there was a giant knot twisting itself together in her stomach as she noticed River's sadness.

  
"Do tell, what can you do to cheer me up?" The taller blonde looked Jane up and down as if weighing up her options. 

  
"Er, I've got a plan." She offered out her hand to River as she let what she could only hope was a welcoming grin grace her features, 

  
"Well when I say a plan it's more like 65% of a plan, wait maybe 80%." Jane watched as River inspected the offered hand. _+10 points for me,_ she thought as she saw that her hands were lacking their usual coat of oil and grease.

  
"Ooo maybe 100% - there's a first, do you trust me River?"

  
"Where's the fun in that?" Jane was ready to lower her hand and trudge off in rejection when River took the hand. She gleamed as she took in their hands and the way they fit just right. With a tug of their joined hands, Jane guided them back through the pub and out to the table that her friends were seated at. 

  
"River, you came?" Amy questioned as she met eyes with the taller blonde. 

  
"Yes, well when you invited me out for a drink I didn't expect you to have so much company, so I thought it was best to at least get a drink first." River looked sceptically over the group failing to notice Jane's friends looking shocked at their intertwined fingers. 

  
"Seems like you've found company of your own." Amy commented.

  
"Yeah Doc, anything you want to tell us?" Ryan questioned as he smirked.

  
"Oh yeah, me and River have got things to do so we are gonna go and do those things right now. See you tomorrow fam!" 

  
Jane sped off pulling the other blonde along with her towards her bike. She failed to notice the glare River gave to Amy, which was only answered with a laugh and a wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty guys sm for all the kudos and comments!
> 
> i logged into my old tumblr as well because there is such good content on there!
> 
> I was wondering if you guys had any riverxthirteen prompts as I love writing them together being happy :)
> 
>   
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	4. you took me to your favourite place on earth

"I did not expect this, I must say." River took in the sight of Jane's dark blue motorcycle as the smaller blonde attached her helmet. 

  
"River, this is Sexy. Isn't she fantastic?" Jane stroked her hand over the polished paintwork almost affectionally to River's amusement.

  
"Do you go around telling everyone you call your motorbike 'Sexy'?" 

  
"Why?" Jane scrunched her nose as she questioned River.

  
"Well dear, I'm starting to understand why you only have three friends." 

  
"Oi! Don't be rude," Jane grumbled as she replied,

  
"I don't think I have a helmet that will fit all that hair in."

  
"What's life without a bit of danger? It will be fine anyway because I'm going to be the one whose driving." River straddled the bike as Jane complained,

  
"I'm a brilliant driver."

  
"You nearly ran me over last night."

  
"You're the first person I've nearly run over!"

  
"I doubt that for some reason. Come on we haven't got all night!" River patted the seat behind her patiently waiting for Jane to give in. 

  
It took all of three seconds before the smaller blonde was sat behind her awkwardly trying to figure out where to put her hands. She laughed as she took Jane's hands and placed her arms around her, which was met with some ethereal squeak from the mechanic. What was it with bumbling idiots that she found so endearing?

  
After Jane had finally relaxed herself, leaning her helmeted head against River's shoulder, she finally offered the directions to where they were going. She tightened her arms around River's waist and River was shocked by the comfort she felt in her clinging embrace as they drove through the empty country lanes.

  
\-------------

  
"Are you going to try and kill me again?" River stared up at the vast woods that Jane had directed her too. Even when she was Mels and Leadworth had been her stomping ground, she had never really been this far out from the centre, there were fewer places to cause trouble and Rory had been petrified of the seemingly endless forest.

  
"Don't be such a downer River, of course not!" Jane scrunched her nose, River was starting to think that was the only face the blonde could make, as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a thin piece of fabric.

  
"What's that for then?" River pointed to her full hands with a raised eyebrow.

  
"I have to at least keep some of it a surprise! Everyone loves surprises!" 

  
"So what, you want to blindfold me? At least take a girl to dinner first." River winked as she stepped closer to the blonde and pulled the cloth from her hands. 

  
"River, please!" Jane pouted. River took in the perfect pout and the wide eyes as she pleaded. How was River supposed to resist? She was mostly human after all.

  
River placed the fabric in front of her eyes as Jane tied it behind her. She felt the mechanic's hands linger on her hair for just a bit too long so she coughed to break her trancelike state. Jane took her hand once again, as she had at the pub, and pulled her through the woods with haste. 

  
\---

  
"We're here!" 

  
River could hear the sound of water flowing before she could see it. Years of conditioning had kicked in about two minutes into the journey through the woods as she counted the steps and listened for her surroundings. The taller blonde pulled the blindfold from her eyes as she took in the sight before her. 

  
A wide river rushed in between a culmination of large rocks that stood strongly. One large tree stood to her left offering shelter from the sky as the leaves formed a canopy above. Jane was quickly pulling off her coat and placing it on the floor as a makeshift blanket in front of the river as she turned to face River.

  
"So what do you think?"

  
River's legs moved of their own accord as she took a seat next to her and looked around.

  
"I thought it was fitting." Jane bumped her shoulder into hers as she chuckled, "I got lost on one of the first days I got here, ended up here and thought it was fantastic. I eventually made my way back home but I didn't tell the gang about what I had found, it was like my secret - I don't really have a lot of those."

  
"Everyone has secrets." River said as she made eye contact with her. 

  
River had seen supernovas, the birth of planets and the ascensions of Gods but she had never seen such raw beauty in the face of one woman before. One human woman. A woman unaffected by time and space, one without burden. Someone who didn't need secrets to be safe, someone whose whole existence wasn't a secret unlike herself.

  
She noticed Jane's eyes flickering towards her lips so River inched her head closer, the ball was in Jane's court. The mechanic began moving her lips closer till they were close enough to be sharing the same breath but suddenly Jane's eyes grew wide and she hastily pulled away.

  
"What about your husband?" River internally cursed the Doctor, ruining her life from lightyears away, as well as her mother who was likely the one who had blabbed. She really ought to have a word. It would never be easy for her, the universe didn't like her enough.

  
"We weren't exclusive and luckily for you, he just left me." It wasn't like she was going to explain that her husband of over a century had just willingly sent her to her death instead of attempting to cheat the universe like the God billions proclaimed him to be.

  
"He left you?"

  
River sighed, here it comes, she thought. The pity. She had wanted to avoid all this, she had originally planned to go and get drunk with Jack Harkness in some sleazy alien bar halfway across the galaxy and sleep with some strangers - and probably Jack, again. However, that was all before the Doctor had tampered with her vortex manipulator.

  
"He must be mad! He seems like an absolute idiot if he has just let you go!" 

  
That was not what River was expecting at all.

  
"Is that why you were upset?" River nodded slightly, avoiding meeting the blonde's eye.

  
"Right then, no talking about him, he's rubbish!" She felt the presence of Jane's hand as it hovered above her own as she turned her face back around. 

  
"I want to know about _you,_ River." Slowly, she opened up her hand offering it to Jane, who took it happily, intertwining their fingers.

  
"The full title is Professor River Song. I'm an archaeologist, I've always loved a tomb." Jane smiled at her like she was delighted to learn just the basic 101 of River Song. That was something the time traveller had rarely experienced and she found it quite refreshing, the Doctor had found her at Luna and knew everything about her. That's what had made her fall in love.

  
"Well Professor Song," Jane shook their joined hands in place of a handshake, "Doctor Jane Smith." 

  
"Doctor?" River questioned.

  
"I got my doctorate in engineering, that's why my fam calls me the Doctor." River pushed down the bile that rose up to her throat at the title - _he was inescapable_. 

  
"You got a doctorate in engineering and you work at a garage in Leadworth?" She raised an eyebrow.

  
"I dunno, I don't need a fancy job, I have Sexy, custard creams and my fam. It's all I really need."

  
"No family?" 

  
"They died a long time ago, they always told me to never be alone and they were right. So I found the gang and they're like my family now." She could sense the layer of grief that clouded Jane's words as she spoke, "What about you?" 

  
"My parents had to give me up. But I found my family again too, with Amy and Rory." River's mouth produced the well rehearsed lie, her hearts heavy. After Demon's Run, they had decided that to the outside world she would be Amy's cousin, who happened to be married to Amy's imaginary friend. They were lucky enough that her Mother's parents had moved back up to Scotland so they couldn't argue River's relation and only Brian had remained in Leadworth. After her regeneration, her parents had held a funeral for Mels Zucker to explain her disappearance, River's newfound appearance in their lives was now one that couldn't be questioned.

  
"Where are you from then?" Jane asked.

  
"All over the place really." 

  
River laughed to herself as the blonde continued her questions, with River asking her own. Eventually, they lay down and looked up onto the stars above them, their hands still tightly wound together. They didn't attempt another kiss, content with hours of speaking about everything and nothing until the birds chirped in the trees, the sun rose and the stars disappeared. 

  
Jane lay comfortably with her head nestled into River's hair as she recalled one of her archaeological digs, minus the Sontarans when Jane's phone alarm rang out loudly. She reached into her pocket and silenced the phone before returning her attention back to River.

  
"I have to open up the garage." Jane subconsciously rubbed her tired eyes whilst putting on her coat as River pulled herself up off the ground.

  
"I don't think you will be doing much of anything before you sleep dear." River outstretched her hand for Jane as she stood her exhausted body up beside her. The curly haired blonde took the phone out of her hands and quickly messaged Graham saying that she wouldn't be able to open up but would be in by noon.

  
"Mmm, thanks." For once she praised her conditioning as she easily managed to pull the tired blonde through the woods and back out to her motorcycle without any directions from her new companion. Jane managed to give her instructions to her flat before she closed her eyes and nestled her face in River's wild curls as the archaeologist drove her home. River wouldn't complain - _just this once_.

  
She dropped the smaller blonde off, leaving Sexy in what she guessed was her designated spot outside. Jane embraced her quickly before stumbling through her dark blue front door. River smiled as the sunrise shone, the golden number thirteen that hung on Jane's front door glistening, as she began her walk back to her parent's home.

  
Jane had given her a surprise after all. The surprise that she had opened up to someone new, yes it had been half truths and well crafted stories to hide her time travelling ways but some of it, _most of it_ had been the truth and that was a first for her.

  
For some reason she trusted Jane, maybe the universe had decided to make up for her centuries of pain at its hands.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want them to be happy but i am a sucker for irony :)
> 
> its currently 1am so i will probably just end up staying up continuing my doctor who rewatch, which has honestly just reminded me how emotional their regenerations make me.
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	5. and the arms of the ocean are carrying me

  
_"Have I forgotten something?"_

  
_"Oh, shut up."_

  
_Lights flickered around them as their lips met._

  
_"Right. Okay. Interesting."_

  
_"What's wrong? You're acting like we've never done that before."_

  
_"We haven't."_

  
_"We haven't?"_

  
_"Oh, look at the time. Must be off. But it was very nice. It was, it was good. It was er, unexpected. You know what they say. There's a first time for everything."_

  
Jane threw her body upwards as she awoke. 

  
River Song. 

  
That woman had already implanted herself in her dreams after two days. She could still feel the ghost of River's lips as she sat up.

  
After River had left and she had clumsily stumbled upstairs, she had unceremoniously passed out on the couch and managed a solid six hours sleep - which meant she should have been at the garage at least an hour ago. 

  
Jane quickly showered and got ready, snapping her suspenders above the white vest she had chosen due to the rising temperature. She ruffled her hair in the mirror, the summer heat of Leadworth already drying it. A glance at her phone showed two messages from Graham, both threatening her biscuit supply. She audibly gulped as she stumbled down the stairs and onto her motorcycle.

  
_Would she ever be on time?_

  
\-------------

  
"So, tell me about River."

  
Yaz sat on the makeshift bench beside the blue car the Doctor was currently laid beneath. 

  
It was hard for Yaz, for all of them really, doing this to her but it was what she had told them to do. It was the only way they could save her. The gang had patched themselves up and swore themselves to protecting the Doctor the only way they could. The TARDIS had fabricated everything they needed and dropped them off in Leadworth after the Doctor had activated the chameleon arch. The four of them had left the time travelling box, the Doc- _Jane's_ body limp in Ryan's arms, and started a new life.

  
A boring new life. 

  
Nothing interesting had happened until this River had shown up, alongside Amy and Rory. She had only managed to spend time with the couple, with the Doctor whisking River away. Yaz was a police officer, which meant she had been trained to notice the body language of those around her, and as she surveyed the ginger and her husband last night, she noticed the way they looked ready to run at any moment. Positioning themselves closest to the exit, the instinct to run so obvious and strong, the one learnt after one too many close encounters with assailants with no good intentions. Yaz suspected they weren't just an ordinary couple, too many misplaced references from films that wouldn't be out for centuries and too many subtle lies about what they get up too when they aren't at work. If they were time travellers that knew the Doctor though, they did a very good job at hiding it but if they did know and were here to reveal Jane's true identity then they had a definite way in - River. The Doctor had never looked at anyone the way she had looked at River in all the time she had known the alien and Yaz would be lying if she said that hadn't hurt to see.

  
"Oh I don't even know where to start, she's brilliant Yaz! We stayed up all night and talked about stuff, but it was cool stuff! She told me about this one time she was at an archaeology dig with her friend, Jack Harkness I think, and they nearly fe-"

  
"Did you say, Jack Harkness?" Yaz questioned. If she hadn't already been suspicious about the new introductions to the Doctor's life, she was now. How did a woman from Leadworth know the man who had helped save the Doctor? Yaz knew one thing, she wouldn't let this woman sweep in and ruin the Doctor's safety, especially after they had all fought so hard to get it.

  
"Yes, Yaz, come on, keep up! Anyway, she's a professor and she teaches archaeology and she's really smart, like really smart. She could name all the constellations nearly as fast as me, and her hair is fantastic and she's very beautifu-"

  
"Doc-"

  
"I wasn't finished yet Yaz! She has very nice lips as well and did I mention her hair, its brilliant, there's so much of it but its so s-" 

  
"Oh darling, you haven't even seen me naked yet." 

  
River's humoured voice echoed throughout the garage as Yaz watched her walk in. She had noticed the blonde halfway through the Doctor's rambling but she knew no-one in the universe was powerful enough to shut her up once she started talking. Yaz took in River as she leant against the car as she waited for the Doctor to appear from beneath it. The mysterious woman wore a pair of very tight black jeans, worn down leather boots and a low cut black vest, well-suited for the slight heatwave, that showed off a lot of cleavage, which must have been intentional - Yaz could definitely see why the Doctor was interested in the Professor now.

  
"Ow!" 

  
The pair watched as the Doctor removed herself from under the car with speed, somehow ending up forcefully hitting her head off the bumper. Her and River laughed as the blonde grumpily rubbed her head before remembering why she had been in such a haste and barrelled towards River energetically.

  
"Hello." 

  
The Doctor muttered breathlessly at River as she clutched her hands excitedly. Yaz couldn't help but get the feeling she was intruding as she watched the two blondes interact. After a minute of awkwardly avoiding looking at them, she let a loud cough which quickly broke them from their haze. 

  
"Oh yes, Professor River Song, this is Yasmin Khan, her friends call her Yaz."

  
River offered her hand as Yaz reluctantly shook it. She still wasn't sure what she made of this Professor and she certainly didn't trust someone who knew someone like Jack.

"PC Yasmin Khan." Yaz unnecessarily informed the blonde. 

  
"Would you mind if I steal Jane for a minute?" River winked at her, completely unbothered by Yaz's title, almost mocking the smaller woman's attempt at intimidation.

  
"Yes- _No,_ No. I was just leaving anyway!" Yaz quickly grabbed her bag before speeding out of the garage. She needed to get to the TARDIS, she needed to find out who exactly River Song was and nothing was going to stop her.

  
\-------------

  
"What do you need to steal me for then?" 

  
Jane was acutely aware of the lack of space between them as she spoke. She could see the little sun rays that hit each one of River's curls perfectly and radiated a glow across her skin.

  
"That can wait, dear, I do believe you were listing all the things you like about me?" She felt her cheeks redden rapidly as she averted her gaze from River's. She pulled her hands free, took a step back and moved to busy her now free hands by attempting to pop the hood of the car.

  
"No idea what you're talking about Professor."

  
She felt River's presence behind her as the taller blonde moved her arms around Jane and braced them against the car, muscles flexing as she whispered in her ear,

  
"I never pegged you for a liar, Doctor Smith." 

  
_"Rule one. The Doctor lies."_

  
Jane shook her head to rid it of that nagging presence, it was one of the voices that haunted her dreams. There were thirteen of them all together that she could recall, a lot of them were so infrequent, but this voice, along with a Scottish one, were constantly there, replacing her own whenever she closed her eyes. Now wasn't the time to be distracted though as she swung herself around the best she could between River's body and the car to meet her eyes.

  
"Well, maybe you don't me that well darlin' "

  
Jane threaded her fingers through River's wild mane as their bodies moulded together perfectly. She lead the Professor's head towards hers as their lips finally met. Both of them deepened the kiss quickly, pressing their bodies immeasurably closer. She let out an involuntary moan as she felt River move her arms from the car to her legs as she hoisted her up onto the hood. Strong arms then wrapped around her torso whilst Jane encircled her legs around River's, interlocking her ankles behind her back keeping her trapped.

  
She could spend eternity like this, she thought as she let herself get lost in the sensation of River Song and those wonderful lips. 

  
Well, she could have if she chose to ignore the insistent shouting of her name from behind the car.

  
"Oi, you two! What kind of place do you think I'm running here ay! I'm here trying to run a garage and you two are snogging on the car that was supposed to be fixed two hours ago, unbelievable!"

  
Jane pulled away, choosing to ignore River's low growl of disapproval as she turned her head. River placed her head against her collarbone, her breath ghosting the exposed skin of Jane's chest above her white vest, her lips inches away from making Jane that forget that Graham was there at all.

  
"Sorry!" She couldn't discern whether the colour on her cheeks was from River or the embarrassment at being caught by Graham.

  
"Honestly! It's like having a teenager, pair of you. No snogging at work or actually, anywhere I am! And Doctor, no biscuits for a week!"

  
"Graham! That's just evil!" She watched as Graham stomped off and slammed the door to his office, a pout coming over her face.

  
"No biscuits! - that's just rude." River kissed her neck chastely before pulling her head up to look at her. 

  
"How about we have a nice dinner tomorrow, you and me, it will cheer you up and I can apologise for losing you your biscuit privileges?" Jane perked up at that, a night with River - now that was equivalent to a really good custard cream. 

  
"Ooo, and we can have it at my flat and I can make dinner! I'm good at cooking...I think? It's just like making a robot but with carrots and edible!"

  
"Sounds wonderful dear, I will see you tomorrow then." River pecked her lips before pulling away and speaking again, 

  
"In the meantime, I can come up with some very creative ways to apologise." The taller blonde winked before she turned away and left.

Jane watched her walk away, with a cruel sway of her hips, and she really couldn't help but appreciate the godly vision that was River Song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for you continued support of this fanfiction, we are a quarter of the way through now!!
> 
> jane and river kissed and i very much enjoy writing them being soft for eachother!! 
> 
> i'm a bit wary of writing from yaz's pov because i don't really think the fam have very discernible characteristics within the show :( so I kind of write her the way she is in my head.
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	6. life is beautiful

River raked her fingers through her wild hair as she waited for Jane to answer the door. She wasn't nervous, she never got nervous. 

  
Well, maybe she was. Just a bit. For some reason, Jane was different from any other human from this century she had ever met.

  
She was about to knock again when she heard Jane's voice call frantically from inside,

  
"RIVER! HELP!"

  
Panicked, River pulled the door handle down only to find it locked. Luckily, she always brought her sonic screwdriver with her, it made breaking and entering so much easier. River hastily pointed the sonic at the lock before pushing the door open and sprinting up the stairs.

  
When she finally reached the top of the stairs, she couldn't help but laugh at the scene in front of her. Jane stood holding a frying pan that was releasing flames which towered over her as she hopped from side to side with caution and fear. She watched on as the smaller blonde finally remembered she had an empty sink beside her and swiftly threw the pan into the sink.

  
With the knowledge that her date for the night wasn't in immediate danger, River took a moment to take in the apartment around her. A purple sofa sat in front of a dormant fireplace whilst a pile of precariously placed pieces of metal rested against it. A multicoloured rug lay beneath a coffee table with its lower shelf being taken over by welded trinkets and tools. Thanks to the open floor plan, River took in the messiness of Jane's bed, dark blue sheets haphazardly flung across the mattress with even more objects scattered across it leaving no room for an actual person to sleep in it comfortably. A leather journal peeked out from underneath the pillows where it had been carelessly left.

  
"I just threw dinner down the sink." Jane spoke dejectedly as she scrunched her nose adorably. River crossed the apartment to greet her properly and looped her arms around Jane's torso pulling her close.

  
"You're just going to have to make it up to me then." Jane clasped her hands around the back of the Professor's neck as River pressed their lips together. 

  
"I have... biscuits... in the cupboard." Jane uttered in between kisses before River pulled away to meet her eye. 

  
"Are you really that hungry dear?"

  
"I'm only human." 

  
"And don't I know it." River mumbled as she distanced herself from the mechanic and pulled out her phone. Fortunately, she was owed a favour by a lovely humanoid from the 57th century that made the best fish and chips this side of the galaxy and who also happened to have access to a vortex manipulator. After sending off her order along with the space-time coordinates, River refocused her attention to Jane, who had somehow made her way across the room and onto the sofa undetected. 

  
The Professor quickly sat beside the blonde as she fiddled with the Rubik's cube in her hands whilst her knee bobbed up and down.

  
"You're not very good at keeping still, are you?"

  
"Sorry, I just like doing stuff. I don't like wasting time. There are not enough hours in the day to do everything so I don't want to wait and miss something!"

  
"I can think of something to keep you occupied."

  
"I'm sure you can, Professor." Jane smirked at the blonde, the inference not subtle at all.

  
"Well dear, we could have been doing that but someone was hungry. I was thinking more along the lines of you going grabbing us two plates?"

  
"Anything for you Darlin'."

  
"Oh, you are so going to wish you'd never have said that." River returned Jane's smirk with one of her own as the mechanic rose and headed towards the cupboards. She tapped her fingers against the arm of the couch as she breathed in deeply. 

  
This place felt so familiar like its molecules were packed with atron energy. Actually, as she sniffed the air, she had gotten the Time Lord senses as part of her DNA altering, the air was filled with atron particles. She carefully pulled her scanner from her purse, days like this she praised her younger self for creating her endless pockets and purses, and silently scanned the room around her. 

  
She stood up and walked tentatively around the room, searching for the trace. As she edged closer to the bed, the level rose but as quickly as it had risen it dropped again. 

  
Interesting.

  
Whatever she had sensed had disappeared the moment River had gotten close to it. Maybe it had been something lingering on her, that's all it could be. A human from the 21st century definitely wasn't going to have access to the Time Vortex or any forms of subsequent time travel. 

  
Unless...

  
River cautiously lifted the scanner up to Jane, who was still distracted trying to get a plate from the top shelf that was just a bit too high up for her. River let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding as she looked down at the scanner. 

  
One human heart and one human brain. And zero traces of atron energy.

  
The knock on the front door drew River from her slightly intrusive snooping. As she made her way to the stairs she called Jane,

  
"Just getting the food, Swe-" 

  
River shook her head disappointedly as she took the delivery from the front door where it had been left. She was constantly trying to not remind herself of the Doctor. It was extremely hard when it was the Time Lord she had loved for over a hundred years. He had never been a constant in her life up until Darillium, sometimes she would go years without seeing his face and sometimes when she did, he didn't know her enough to love her back. After 24 years of waking up to him beside her, it was hard not to hope that she when opened her eyes he would be stood there with his stupid face.

  
She wasn't exaggerating when she said it was like loving the stars themselves. From afar, the Doctor was something truly magnificent but the closer you got, the more you got burned. His name was simultaneous with those of Gods and he was placed on a pedestal by so many. To be the light in a dark universe that had already taken so much from him. She would hear him cry out in his sleep for those he had lost.

  
His children. His grandchildren. His entire planet. 

  
Rose. Donna. Her parents. Her.

  
"River, you alright?" She swung herself around to see Jane stood at the top of the stairs, her eyebrows drawn together worryingly.

  
"Yes dear, let's eat." 

  
River made her way back upstairs with the bag of food and placing the food onto the plates Jane had already set up.

  
"Orr, I love fish n' chips!" Jane mumbled with three chips already shoved in her mouth. River just laughed at the blonde's lack of manners as the duo launched into a conversation they hadn't quite finished the night before.

  
______

  
After Jane had demolished her portion, which had then lead to River offering her some of hers with a "This is why you should eat more than biscuits.", the mechanic sat with her head on River's shoulder as the two of them lounged in the comfortable silence.

  
River gently traced patterns into the fabric covering Jane's thigh as it bounced up and down like it had done earlier that night.

  
"You really aren't one for sitting still, are you?" Jane's eyes focused on the movement of her leg as she turned to look sheepishly at River. 

  
Taking advantage of the rare stillness of the blonde, River tenderly pressed their lips together whilst snaking a hand up to caress her jaw. Jane deepened the kiss as she allowed herself to be pulled into River's lap as she pressed her hands softly against her shoulders to get her to lie down across the sofa. Still kissing Jane as she sprawled across the sofa, River toyed with the hem of her shirt, pulling it halfway up and dropping it back down. At Jane’s fierce whimper and groan that launched itself from the back of her throat, River stopped playing games and tugged it over her head - only to be met by the white undershirt that she wore beneath it.

  
"You wear too many unnecessary layers" 

  
"Oi! It's Leadworth! It's cold!"

  
"It's summer!" River huffed at the blonde that was still straddling her hips.

  
"Shut up!"

  
"Make me."

  
Jane hurriedly connected their lips again as River clawed at the slither of skin that had revealed itself from beneath Jane's vest. The mechanic pulled her hands away from where they had been resting against River's shoulders and finally assisted River on attempting to remove her upper body of any clothing and tugged her undershirt off and over her head.

  
As soon as Jane had thrown the vest across the room, River had splayed her hands across Jane's bare back, nails slightly scratching the porcelain surface and skirting under the elastic of her sports bra. River released a moan as Jane tugged her lip between her teeth as her hands explored the still clothed expanse of River's chest. Jane's hand was just about to slip beneath the fabric when they collectively heard the sound of someone ascending the stairs.

  
"DOCTOR, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT RIVER!" Yaz shouted up the stairs as she walked up to them and entered the apartment. The pair on the sofa could only watch as Yaz, along with Ryan, came into view. 

  
"You work quick don't you Doc?" Ryan smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for the continued support!! comment + kudos are v much appreciated <3
> 
> i don't know if any of you guys even read these notes but i was wondering, in the show did they ever address the fact that missy was going to go back to help the doctor but couldn't because the master killed her? or is that just a plot hole we have to live with?
> 
> also the kind of flat i based her apartment off is villanelle's london apartment in s2 of killing eve if anyone is interested :)
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	7. now i'm in exile, seein' you out

_"Hiya Fam, before I change, here's a list of instructions for when I'm human. One, don't let me cause too much trouble. No big explosions or accidentally creating something that shouldn't be around for a few thousand years. I'm clever like that even as a human and we can't have that. Two, don't worry about the Tardis. She will be on emergency power so they can't detect her. She will park somewhere where she feels safe and give you everything you need. Three. No getting involved in big historical events or any alien invasions. I don't know if another version of me will show up or not but you three need to stay as far away as possible. And fo-"_

  
_Yaz stood in the darkened TARDIS as she fast forwarded the video of the Doctor. She couldn't remember how many times she had seen it, late nights sat watching the echo of her friend. She had taken it upon herself to learn it all so she would always be prepared however River Song wasn't something she had prepared for._

  
_She knew that the Doctor hadn't left any instructions about what to do if she got in a relationship. Of course, she wouldn't, she'd forget the most human thing of all, humanity's incapability to not fall in love. Despite this, she knew the Doctor had left another means to investigate those who came into her life._

  
_"Twenty-Seven. A great number. If anybody shows up, and I mean anyone at all, that you think could threaten us, the TARDIS is the biggest index in the universe and she can tell you what you need to know about anyone. She's like a big yellow pages, they still have those in your time, right? Anyway, just tell her the name and she'll try her best but there's not much she can do with her power drained."_

  
_Yaz kept fast forwarding till she reached the end - she always watched the end._

  
_"That's it, gang. Yaz, Graham, Ryan, you are all brilliant. Don't let me forget that."_

  
_She quickly composed herself as she wiped away the tear that always found its way into her eye._

  
_"Can you hear me?" The slight brightening of the crystalline pillars gave the TARDIS' confirmation as Yaz spoke._

  
_"I need to know about River Song."_

  
_Nothing._

  
_"Please, she's getting close to the Doctor and we need to keep her safe." After the TARDIS released what Yaz can only compare to a reluctant groan, the screen flickered before River's information covered it._

  
**_NAME: ██████ ████ known as RIVER SONG_ **   
**_AGE: ███_ **   
**_SPECIES : ██████████ ████_ **   
**_ORIGIN : ██████ ███_ **   
**_HOME PLANET: EARTH_ **   
**_KNOWN FAMILY: ███ █████████ ████ █████████ ███ ██████_ **   
**_SPOUSES: ███ ███████ ███████ ██████████ ███████ ████ ████ ██████ ████ ██████ ████ ████████_ **   
**_KNOWN AFFILIATIONS: ███ ███████ ███ ████████ ████ ███████████ ██████ ███ ███████████_ **   
**_STATUS: UNKNOWN_ **

  
_"Is that it? Come on, I need to know more."_

  
_The screen slowly reconfigured to display a new message_

  
**_SHE IS NOT A THREAT TO HER LIFE_ **

  
_"You can't be sure of that, if she knows the Doctor she could ruin everything! She knows Jack! How can she know Jack?"_

  
**_SHE IS NOT A THREAT TO HER LIFE_ **

  
_"If you're not gonna actually help then I'm just gonna have to stop her getting close to the Doctor by myself."_

  
_She stormed out of the TARDIS and pulled out her phone. Maybe the joined efforts of her and Ryan could try and separate the Doctor and River._

\-------------

  
"I didn't think you were a foursome type of girl dear" River chuckled as Jane continued to darken by several shades of red.

  
"River, hush!" 

  
"That's not a no" Jane huffed as she removed herself from the amused blonde beneath her. She took her t-shirt, which had landed on the other side of her coffee table, and pulled it over her head before turning to her friends.

  
"So what's up with River?"

  
Yaz just stared at the sofa that River was still draped across as Ryan turned to her and Jane looked on unknowingly.

  
"Yaz just wants to have a chat with you."

  
"What happened to us doing this together?" Yaz hissed quietly to Ryan.

  
"That was before I knew Doc was getting some. You've seen River right?" He whispered back.

  
"Honey, keep the compliments coming." River flirted with Ryan as she waltzed up beside Jane looking massively less dishevelled than the woman beside her, the only signs of her previous activities slightly smeared lipstick and a few stray curls.

  
"I don't think we've been properly introduced," River offered her hand with her signature flirtatious look in her eye,

  
"Professor River Song and I'm guessing you are Ryan?" He nodded with recognition but before he had a chance to reply Jane jumped in. 

  
"All the fam have met River! Brilliant! But can someone tell me what's going on, we were kinda in the middle of something."

  
Yaz stared at River, not even trying to hide her wariness of River being in her presence.

  
"Jane, I think I will leave you three to it." River quickly grabbed her purse off the floor before returning to her side.

  
"But River we were... You know!"

  
"And we will do it again, don't you worry, but it must be urgent if your friends are bursting in here so late." River kissed her cheek before making for the stairs.

  
"I'll be seeing you, Doctor Smith."

  
"You bet, Professor." Jane stared longingly at the stairs as River departed into the summer air of Leadworth.

  
\-------------

  
"Who wants tea? Love tea might be some in that cupboard. I will go and g-"

  
"I will do it Doc, just talk to Yaz." Ryan quickly paced across the room and began pulling the teabags out the cupboard.

  
"Right Yaz, what's up? Because you never use that key unless A. I've set something on fire accidentally or B. I invited you round. Oh god, I didn't invite you around because that's really awk-"

  
"No Doctor, We- _I_ need to talk with you about River."

  
"She's great isn't she?" Jane smiled as remembered the warm touch of River's hands minutes before.

  
"I don't trust her."

  
Jane dejectedly threw herself down onto the sofa before answering her.

  
"Don't you think I know that? I see the way you look at her, you don't even try to be nice to her!"

  
"You know we only want what's best for you."

  
"What and you think that's not with River? Being around her is the most I've felt like me in months!"

  
"And that's great! But I looked into her-"

  
"Are you being serious? _'You looked into her'_ She's not some dangerous criminal!" 

  
"I'm only trying to keep you safe!"

  
"No, you just can't deal with the idea that there are other people in my life. Why can't you just be happy for me?! For once I don't feel so alone."

  
"Doc just lis-"

  
"Just go Yaz."

  
"Please just listen."

  
"I said, go!" Jane all but shouted across the room.

  
"Fine. You know what then this blows up in your face, you will regret it." Yaz loudly stomped out of the apartment leaving them basking in the deafening silence.

  
Ryan moved away from the countertop where he had been discreetly listening to the argument and placed a comforting hand on Jane's slumped shoulder. She let out a heavy sigh as she shrunk further into herself. The night had been going so well with River but of course nothing lasted - it never did.

  
"Go after her, Ryan, you know you want to." They always did choose each other over her.

  
"You sure?"

  
"Yeah, go." He hastily made his way across the room but turned around whilst he stepped near the stairs.

  
"You two will sort this out, you always do."

  
Jane nodded halfheartedly before Ryan disappeared down the stairs. With the closing of the door, she rested her emotionally worn body across the sofa where River had been lay not half an hour before. The lingering scent of River sedated her worrying mind and lured her into a tired state. 

  
Hey, maybe this time she wouldn't dream about lizard people and headless monks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i keep ending my chapters by saying this but your comments and kudos are appreaciated so much!! <3 
> 
> out of taylor's new album, i relate 'my tears ricochet' to these two the most and it will most likely inspire some kind of one shot from me.
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	8. i can't fight your battles but i sure can hold your hand

River had been busy in the three days that she hadn't seen Jane after they had been so rudely interrupted by the blonde's friends.

  
After she had returned home, the next day, River had attempted to contact Jack Harkness in hopes that he would be able to get her the parts for her vortex manipulator that she couldn't function it without. She had managed to fix most of the damage with the help of her sonic screwdriver however some of it had deadlocked so it was now rendered useless unless she replaced them. However Jack hadn't answered her and she had to leave a voicemail in hopes that Jack already knew her - the Doctor wasn't the only one she had a messed up timeline with. It wasn't like she was planning on going anywhere anyway, she was going to cherish this stolen time with her parents even if she hadn't chosen it and Jane had been beautifully unexpected. 

  
She had also managed to get a job at the local university teaching archaeology, thanks to some psychic paper, which had given her some useful qualifications in the twenty-first century. She hadn't originally planned to stay long enough to have to get a job but of course, Jane unceremoniously fell into her lap all rainbows and custard creams and she couldn't resist. As well as that, usually, her partners weren't those who happened to be best friends with a police officer and were usually very much on the dubious side of the law so she knew it was inevitable for Yaz to do some digging. Maybe she had already if River took into account Yaz's distaste and wariness at her presence.

  
She had assimilated River Song into Leadworth in a matter of hours with a history going back years - she wasn't all beauty, she had more brains than the Doctor himself most of the time. River had congratulated herself with a bottle of wine, a bubble bath and a promise to herself to go on a shopping spree the next day.

  
River had always enjoyed the rural comfort of Leadworth. It had been her first home, where she had grown up and it had also been the first time she had met him. Well, Mels had with a gun to his head but as first dates go, it had been one to remember. However, the problems of a woman who loved to ~~steal~~ shop came when the closest town was half an hour away by car.

  
Luckily for her, her father's favourite car happened to be rather quick and if she so happened to have broken a few speed limits on her journey, that's nothing her hallucinogenic lipstick or psychic paper couldn't solve and her father was too soft (and awkward) to ever reprimand her properly. She had just pulled up outside her parents home, passenger seat full with various shopping bags that she had _definitely_ paid for with her own money when she saw him sitting on her doorstep.

  
"Doctor Song, finally! I'm still not that used to being back on my own two feet and not stuck inside that tin can of a body of your ex-husband's. It's nice breathing air all the time, even if it's through reassembled airways." 

  
"What the hell are you doing here, Nardole?!" River slammed the door to the car as she stormed over to the cyborg that was sat on the steps of her parent's home.

  
"Where else should I be Ma'am? I'm technically still your employee and I wasn't staying there with that grumpy husband of yours."

  
"Nardole, I didn't let him rebuild you so you could still work with me. I let him rebuild you so he wouldn't be so bloody lonely."

  
"But Doctor Song, I always preferred you to him! For one, me and you are almost on par for our great looks, we make quite the duo even if I am slightly more physically attractive. Two, he turns his nose up at anyone who commits a crime if it's not you! What kind of life would that be for a master con artist like me?" 

  
"Well, maybe it will be good for you Nardole. See some new planets and maybe find some people you actually like. "

  
"Was being with him any good for you? The great River Song, a myth among the universe, hiding away with Mummy and Daddy." 

  
Nardole gulped as River dangerously stepped forward, easily towering over him with the help of her high heeled boots.

  
"Remember who you are talking to, Nardole. I could very easily take you apart again if you'd like." 

  
The pair stared at each other. River's eyes clouded with anger whilst Nardole did his best not to cower under her glare.

  
"What's going on?" 

  
River whipped her head around to find Jane stood there, the sunlight catching in her blonde hair. The professor quickly stepped back from the slightly trembling Nardole as she moved to greet the mechanic, she gently embraced the blonde before pulling away.

  
"Nothing dear, is there?" River turned her head to glare at Nardole once again. Hopefully, he would take the hint and she wouldn't have to disassemble him piece by piece.

  
"No, no, of course not! I just need to talk to Doctor Song, that's all." He quickly painted his face with his best attempt of a smile.

  
"Could you do me a favour? Can you take those bags in for me whilst I finish this up? Trust me it really won't take long." River dangled her house keys in front of Jane, who still looked unsure of the situation that had unfolded before she had arrived.

  
"Are you sure?" The mechanic hesitantly grabbed the keys from her hand. 

  
"Of course dear. You know I can handle myself just fine and he's just a small bald man." 

  
"Excuse me, I'm not some hu-" 

  
"Nardole!" River cut him off before he had a chance to out his cyborg status to Jane, who had made her way to the car to retrieve the bags from the car. They stood in silence until Jane had made her way from the car and into the house, lugging River's purchases with her. The professor just hoped Jane would get preoccupied with finding where to put her bags so she wouldn't hear their conversation.

  
"Nardole, listen to me, you have one last job from me. The Doctor can never be alone, no matter what. I need you to go to him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. You have full permission to kick his arse if he's being an idiot."

  
"Is that it, Ma'am?"

  
"No, one more thing, I need you to go and get my diary. The completed version of it will be out there somewhere in the universe, he's never liked an ending so I doubt he will have taken it with him. Take it to him, he has to understand that some things must come to an end but he also must know this." She breathes heavily as her emotions threatened to betray her,

  
"Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit without hope, without witness, without reward. Virtue is only virtue in extremis. He will need to hear that one day and you bloody make sure he remembers it."

  
"You two deserved to be happy." Nardole placed a hand on her shoulder, the weight of her final words to the Doctor hanging in the air. 

  
"The universe had other plans." River grimaced as he removed his hand and waddled onto the street. 

  
"It was an honour working with you, River Song." He lifted his hand to a quick salute, a genuine smile spread across his face. 

  
"You are very welcome, Nardole." She chuckled deeply.

  
Neither would speak of the tears that had escaped that day as Nardole pushed the buttons on his vortex manipulator and disappeared into a future where River Song was no more.

  
\---------

  
River gently closed the front door as she entered the house. She rested her head against the door as she took a deep breath. 

  
She was a fool for thinking she could hide from the truth of what she had left behind on Darillium. A husband who had spent every day with her for twenty-four years. A husband who had chosen her over saving the universe he cherished so much for so many years. No matter how the two had tearfully parted ways, she could never say she wouldn't cherish those twenty-four years for the rest of her life.

  
The creaking of the floorboards behind her caused her to turn her head around. Jane stood, a hesitant hand outstretched for River to grab with a tender look in her eye. She placed her hand in Jane's and allowed herself to be pulled into a warm embrace. 

  
The pair stood silently for minutes as Jane traced circles into the fabric covering her back. River could almost make out Gallifreyan words of reassurance and love in the mindless touch, well she could if Jane could've had any knowledge of the lost language of the Time Lords. A single tear escaped from her eye and hit the slope of Jane's neck, which caused the blonde to attempt to tighten her hold on River. 

  
Not used to taking comfort in the arms of someone other than the Doctor, she forced her body out of Jane's loving hold and quickly composed her face. 

  
_Don't show the damage._

  
Madame Kovarian had taught her that by her fifth birthday. Melody had cried for her parents and they consequently locked her room in the orphanage for a month with no food, water or even contact from the man who acted as her caretaker.

  
The Doctor had also taught her that after she had regenerated. River had cried for her parents and the Sisters of the Infinite Schism had told her about the empty blue book that he had left behind for her before whisking her parents far away from her. She knew now why he had left, foreknowledge was dangerous. For the Doctor anyway, her ageless God.

  
"I brought biscuits." 

  
River was pulled from her thoughts as Jane produced a packet of custard creams from her coat.

  
"Of course you did." River laughed at the blonde who had turned slightly red but was still smiling with her.

  
"Come on, we can eat these in the garden. I trust you put my bags somewhere safe?" She grabbed the packet out of her hand and made for the back door, Jane quickly following behind.

  
" 'Course I did! I'm very responsible you know?"

  
"Hmm, you did nearly run me over the first time you saw me, dear." River teased as she took a seat in a garden chair.

  
"Apart from that. Can we stop talking 'bout that?" Jane quickly followed suit and lifted a chair from the other side of the wooden table, placed it beside River's and threw her coat off across the empty table.

  
"What about the fact you had to throw dinner down the sink because you set it on fire?"

  
"Apart from that as well." Jane mumbled as she ate a biscuit she had snatched from the packet. 

  
"Who was the bald guy then? Because you were doing all that scary River stuff, and while I do find it very hot for some reason, he must've done something to deserve it." She asked sceptically as she turned the conversation away from her clumsiness.

  
"His name is Nardole, he was an old friend of mine. Sadly for him, he has a habit of opening his mouth without thinking."

  
"I do that sometimes."

  
"I fancy you, there's a difference." River smirked as she watched Jane's blushing face as she failed to hide it from view. 

  
The pair sat in a comfortable silence as ~~they~~ Jane demolished the custard creams as they gazed at the clouds above them. It was one of the things she missed most when she was away from Earth, the bright blue of the sky and its shapeless clouds.

  
"You've got something on your lip." River moved her gaze from the sky to the blonde beside her, who had obviously been too preoccupied with staring at River instead of the sky.

  
"Where?" She skated her finger across her lip, _maybe_ deliberately missing the location of the lone crumb.

  
"There!" Jane pointed, causing River too _'try'_ again. 

  
"Just let me get it." The mechanic moved the pad of her thumb against the curve of River's lip, ridding it of the crumb. 

  
The two sat in a heated gaze as Jane effectively cradled her face, thumb still remaining on her lip. River slowly swiped her tongue out against the fingerprint touching her lip, watching as Jane's pupils dilated with arousal. The professor steadily danced her fingers across the mechanic's thigh whilst her other hand reached up to take a strong grasp of her jaw. 

  
Jane propelled herself forward claiming River's lips with her own. River was happily surprised with the neediness of the kiss as Jane hoisted herself into her lap, hands tangling in blonde curls. She removed her hand from its grip on Jane's thigh and edged her yellow suspenders off her shoulders. River then skirted her hands under her t-shirt, surprisingly, she wasn't met with any other layers. Her hands welded to the smooth skin of her hips as Jane grinded against her.

  
"RIVER!" 

  
River quickly disconnected their joined lips and pivoted to see her father stood behind them, managing to look both annoyed and embarrassed at the same time. Amy rapidly ran out to find out what all the commotion was about and River watched as her mother struggled to barely contain her laughter as she took in the sight before her. 

  
"You know you don't have to make it your life mission to defile everything in this house you know?!" Rory exclaimed as the Pond women desperately tried to hide their amusement, Jane choosing to hide her face in River's hair. 

  
It was true though, River had made it her own personal mission to see how many different places her and the Doctor could have sex just to see how close her father would get to a nervous breakdown and it was always amusing to watch him threaten the Doctor with different Roman torture methods he had learned as the plastic centurion. However, this was different, Jane wasn't the Doctor so that meant that it was null and void to her tally - plus they had barely even started.

  
"You know what? I'm just going to go and sort out tea. Amy, you tell her!" All three of them watched as he stomped off into the house. As soon as he had disappeared inside, the mother and daughter laughed loudly, the amusement even dampening Jane's embarrassment as their laughter became contagious. 

  
After they had sufficiently calmed down, Jane removed herself from River's lap and headed inside with an offer to help Rory cook dinner as a way to say sorry for nearly having sex on his garden chairs. River sorted her ruffled clothing, hesitant to leave Jane anywhere near food, and joined her mother at the doorway.

  
"You know one of these days, you're going to actually send him into an early grave."

  
"Oh, Mother. He's survived being wiped from existence, I don't think seeing me snog the local mechanic is going to be the reason."

  
"You're probably right. But from now on young lady, no kissing or anything else where we all sit. You're Grandad bought us those chairs, his only granddaughter can't go around defiling them." Amy berated her with her arms crossed and an eyebrow firmly raised. 

  
"Fine but it's not like he knows I exist, so technically-" 

  
"Melody Pond, do you want to go and tell Brian, who thinks golfing and gardening are the most exciting things in the universe, that Mels, who he used to pick up from school and was best friends with his son, also happens to be his granddaughter. Oh and is also god knows how many years older than him and is also married to my imaginary best friend, who happens to be an alien with a time machine." 

  
River just sighed dejectedly at her mother's rant. 

  
Of course, she knew logically she couldn't tell Brian, he would probably think they'd all gone mad but that man had been like a father to her growing up. He would always let her stay over and had even tried to gain custody of her once when he had noticed her absent parents but of course had failed against the Silence. 

  
Her parents would be gone a year from now anyway in their timeline. What did it matter?

  
"Come on, I have seen Jane cook before and I don't trust her not to accidentally damage Dad and herself." River spoke as she linked arms with Amy as they entered the house to safeguard the cooking.

  
As they sat around the table that night, her father plating up the food that Jane hadn't managed to burn, River wondered if this is what her life could've been. Sat across from her parents accompanied by a completely human woman, discussing the family gossip with a bottle of wine and an orange juice for the mechanic. Jane intertwined their fingers, resting their joined hands against her thigh, whilst River gave her a quick peck on her cheek. 

  
For the first time since Darillium - since she was born, she wasn't waiting for him to appear around the corner with a fez or sonic sunglasses. 

  
Maybe this would've been her life without the Doctor. 

  
_Her Doctor,_ well not anymore. 

  
She was just an echo to him now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so guess what i cannot count and there should have been 21 chapters but i have added an extra one in so its even :) 
> 
> this chapter also happens to be the longest one i have ever written and i am not surprised because i feel like river's whole character and her relationships are so complex and i love exploring it. 
> 
> as always, kudos and comments are appreciated!! <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	9. when i'm down on my knees, you're how i pray

  
Jane balanced precariously on a metal chair as she attempted to sketch her dreams from the night before. 

  
It was strange, even by the standards of her normal dreams.

  
_A talking blue head had stood before her, cooped inside a box, whilst it shouted after her._

  
_"The first question. The question that must never be answered, hidden in plain sight. The question you've been running from all your life."_

  
_She could still feel the fear that had coursed through her veins at the head's words._

  
_"Doctor who?"_

  
_She had turned away from the blue box she was heading towards and faced the voice._

  
_"Doctor who?"_

  
_Jane had watched on as the head continued to shout, the view partially obscured by cobwebs and dust._

  
_"Doctor Who."_

  
She snapped her journal shut as she heard footsteps approach. It had been a slow day at the garage, hence the fact she was able to sit about and try and make some sense of her dreams, so that meant there were no customers waiting and it was too close to closing time to do any work. This all meant that there were only four possible people who could be showing up right now and she had an idea which one it would be.

  
"Hiya."

  
Jane watched as Yaz cautiously stepped into view, twisting her hands together as she scarcely greeted the blonde.

  
"Hi."

  
"Look, I'm-" "Sorry about-"

  
The pair laughed at their nervousness as they spoke over each other. They stood in silence until Yaz attempted to find the words again

  
"Look, I'm sorry that I made you upset the other day. I just worry about you, a lot. And all I want is to keep you safe."

  
"I get that, Yaz. But I'm not some kid and I can make my own mistakes but I don't think River is one of them. And it isn't cool going looking through people's lives, I trust her. So trust me."

  
Jane slowly opened her arms, a welcoming smile spread across her features, she had always hated arguing with any of her fam. They were the only three people she had ever known to be a constant in her life. Yaz gratefully took the invitation and let herself be wrapped in her arms as she squeezed. 

  
"And for the record, you are the oldest child I know. I've got cousins that are six, that eat actual meals, not just custard creams, and they dress better than you."

  
"Oi! Biscuits are brilliant and there is nothing wrong with the way I dress!"

  
The two pulled apart as both of their phones pinged.

  
_FAM :) XD :)_

  
_Ryan: Guessing you two have sorted everything out by now? Remember game night at Grandad's tonight._

  
_Ryan: And by tonight, I mean we have like an hour before he starts complaining and I really can't be bothered._

  
_Graham: I DO KNOW HOW TO READ THESE MESSAGES YOU KNOW_

  
\-------------

  
About an hour later, the four of them sat around a half filled scrabble board and an empty biscuit tin - that was always raided whenever the blonde was around. Jane sat with her knees pulled up to her chest on the wooden chair she had been forced to fix, even though she could barely remember breaking it, whilst she looked thoughtfully at the tiles in front of her.

  
She waited impatiently for her turn as she made faces at Ryan across the table, the two of them not as invested as the others but Jane was still competitive enough to not want to place last.

  
The blonde carefully placed her tiles on the board spelling out :

  
**T R E N Z A L O R E**

  
"Not a word, Doc." Graham triumphantly told the blonde.

  
"It is a word, I heard it in a dream once! Your dreams don't just makeup words! Nineteen points for me!" Jane screwed her eyebrows in defiance at their denial.

  
"Nah Doc, look." Ryan took to shoving his phone across the table for her to see as he laughed, "Not a word. Ha, that means you lose or something dunnit?"

  
"Well, actually- " 

  
Graham's recollection of the ancient rules of scrabble was cut off by a sharp ringtone. 

  
"Not me." 

  
"Not me either."

  
"It's not going to be me either, I turned the bloody thing off." 

  
The three of them turned to Jane, who looked just as confused as them. There were only three people in this universe who had her number and they were sat in the same room as her. The phone continued to ring in the pocket of her coat as she hesitantly made her way across the room. She slowly pulled it out, answered it and carefully held it to her ear like it was a time bomb waiting to explode. 

  
"Hello dear." Jane released the breath that she had been holding as River's sweet voice travelled through the speaker.

  
"River Song, what do I owe the pleasure?" She heard the others relax as they heard the Professor's name.

  
"Well, I seem to have landed myself in a bit of a predicament and the car has decided to break down."

  
"I'm on my way." 

  
"You don't even know where I am ."

  
"Oh yeah. Just send me your location and I will get Ryan to drop me off."

  
"How do you know I want your help and not Ryan's?"

  
Jane huffed down the phone as she motioned for Ryan to grab his keys. She pulled her coat on and waved goodbye to the others before dashing to Ryan's car.

  
"Right then, I will send Ryan. It's cool. Cool. Cool. Cool."

  
"I'm only joking, dear. I want to see that beautiful face of yours and I trust you will get me home safe afterwards." River's laughs echoed down the phone. Jane blushed as she took her seat in the car.

  
"I will see you there then, Professor."

  
River ended the phone call and sent her the location, up in the dirt roads near the woods. God knows what she was doing up there with a car like Rory's.

  
"You are so whipped. How long have you known her? A week and you're already going playing her knight in yellow suspenders." 

  
"Shut up." Jane playfully shoved his arm before he pulled out of his parking spot and drove them to River's location.

  
\-------------

  
Ryan pulled up beside River, who was casually sat with her bare legs propped on the dashboard with the hood of the engine popped. Jane glanced over River's figure and the exposed expanse of skin, the blonde momentarily distracted from everything else around her.

  
"Doc?" 

  
"Right, yeah. Yes." Jane was pulled from her stare with Ryan's words and shook her head. 

  
"I will go and fix this, you go and lose at scrabble."

  
"But if there's two of us we can get it fixed qu-"

  
"Nope, nope, No. I have this under control, don't worry." She quickly slammed the car door and approached the archaeologist.

  
Ryan began driving but not before catching River's eye as the blonde winked flirtatiously at him. The young mechanic gave a grin in return whilst Jane snorted at the interaction before moving to look under the hood of the car. 

  
Now alone, she busied herself with looking for the fault within the engine, choosing to ignore River's presence.

  
"Darling, you shouldn't be jealous." Jane listened as River adjusted her high heels before stepping out of the car and standing behind the mechanic, hands placed firmly on her hips as she moulded her body around the shorter woman.

  
"You are the only I want in my bed." River firmly placed a kiss against her neck.

  
"Maybe your bed though, the acoustics in your apartment sounds great." She trailed her kisses up Jane's neck, reaching her earlobe and slightly tugging it in between her teeth before releasing it.

  
"And I'm quite the screamer." River whispered into her ear, her grip tightening on her hips, as her fingers edged under her t-shirt and skimmed the skin of her abdomen. Jane pressed herself further into River's body, her heart hammered away in her chest as she barely subdued the moan daring to escape.

  
Jane attempted to turn to face River but the professor pulled her hands away and took a step back.

  
"River..." Jane pouted as she shivered at the loss of contact. 

  
God, the things she wanted to do River, what she wanted River to do to _her-_

  
"Later, I promise. The car needs fixing first dear." She blew a kiss towards the blonde who had reluctantly turned around. Jane breathes, long and slow, and if River had noticed her state she didn't say anything, preferring to sit on the tree stump near the engine as she watched Jane work.

  
The quicker she finished this, the quicker she could be kissing River. 

  
In her bed. 

  
Preferably naked.

  
Jane shivered again before she continued to look at the engine. Most of it had seemed to have been fixed by River, surprisingly, with only a few minor issues she could fix then and there. 

  
It was a shock really, that the car had suddenly broken down. Even now as she was looking at the engine, she couldn't find an exact reason why it had, it was like an external disruption had fractured parts of the mechanics. 

  
"You know, you could have probably fixed this yourself. You've done a brilliant job with the other parts."

  
"But what's a girl to do when she's not seen her favourite mechanic in a few days. You don't text, you never call. And plus, you bent over is quite the view." River sighed dramatically whilst she grinned at the blonde.

  
"That's because you never gave me your number." Jane pointed matter-of-factly at the archaeologist as she smirked.

  
"Actually, how did you get my number?"

  
"I have to keep some secrets darling. After all, I wouldn't be so mysteriously attractive if I didn't."

  
Jane just laughed as River sidled up beside her. Together, it took them only half an hour to fix up the car with the tools Rory must've left in the car and never used by the amount of dust collected on them.

  
Within that thirty minutes, the pair had shared stolen heated glances whilst the barest of touch between their hands sent an indescribable course of electricity through their bodies. 

  
"Why don't you stay at mine?" The two of them now sat in the car, River sat in the driver's seat - _obviously._

  
"Why would I do that?" River raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips at the blonde.

  
"Well, you know. If you don't want to that's fine, I- I was just thinking it's late and Amy and Rory, they-"

  
River chuckled as she placed her hand on Jane's thigh.

  
"Oh... you were kidding weren't you?"

  
"Yes, dear. Now your place, is it?"

  
"You can't just tell me you're quite a screamer with no evidence. I think I should get a first hand experience." 

  
"I knew there was a reason I liked you." 

  
\-------------

  
Jane locked the front door behind them as they stepped into the dimly lit hallway, stairs just a few metres away.

  
"Locked it this time and done the chain, hopefully, that means no interruptions. Although I could just text them and sa-"

  
But Jane doesn't get to finish, River rushes forwards, crowds her and kisses her.

  
Jane's moans of relief echo around the hallway, joined by River's because God has it been a long few days without each other's touch. The shorter blonde buried her hands in blonde curls, pulling tightly, whilst River's hands moved across her body, staying nowhere for long.

  
The thud of Jane's back hitting the back door vibrates through her body, the soft whimper on her lips echoing through the hallway and between River's legs.

  
"I want you." The professor whispers against her lips as their kisses become more insistent. 

  
River takes the loud moan she gets in response as initiative, breaks their kiss reluctantly, and lowers herself to her knees keeping eye contact with the blonde. Jane takes a moment to take in the sight before her, River's curls wildly formed around her face with desire so openly flowing over her face.

  
She moves her hands upwards and expertly unclips her suspenders like she's done it a thousand times before. When the material of her pants slowly slips to the floor, Jane moves her hands forward and grasps the curls in front of her with new vigour pulling tightly - River's only response a deep moan that ripples through Jane's body.

  
The blue trousers hit her ankles and she haphazardly discards them before River's hands are edging their way up her bare skin. Her fingertips skirted under the elastic of her underwear before she hooked them around the fabric and pulled the soaked fabric off and down her thighs.

  
She takes a moment to trace the red marks left behind by her underwear before she drags her nails steadily forward. Jane's hips bucked forward of their own accord as her fingers moved closer, so close but still so far.

  
"Oh,"

  
Jane feels the touch of River's fingers, expertly gliding through wet folds, as she tries to catch her breath.

  
"Is this what you wanted?"

  
"Yes, _yes!"_

  
Fingers moved more firmly, pressing further as they travelled.

  
"Or how about this?"

  
Jane felt the hot breath of River's mouth before it attached to her. Jane's moans echoed around the hallway as her tongue relentlessly explored her whilst her hands prompted Jane to lift her legs to rest on her shoulders. 

  
Head trapped between the blonde's thighs, River manoeuvred her hand to join her tongue and pressed two fingers into the writhing body before her. They're strong and quick and Jane tilts River's head to meet her eye. The professor confidently locks eyes with her as she ruthlessly increases her pace.

  
"God, you are beautiful."

  
The fingers still inside her as River whispers.

  
They stare, their eyes locked, their soft panting breaths the only sound to accompany them. 

  
"River, please."

  
The fingers pull out of her, curved, setting every nerve in her body on fire. 

  
" _Plea-_ "

  
The fingers slam back into her, unforgivable pace resuming.

  
They both exhale deeply as they move in rhythm with one another. It was impossible to say where River began and Jane ended as they moved perfectly in sync with one another, like they had been doing this for centuries.

  
" _I - River-_ "

  
And God if that wasn't the sweetest melody she had ever heard.

  
It's something poetic, the way she feels surrounded by Jane. It is different with her, different than any other lover she has taken. She had never felt so utterly consumed by someone, well apart from her madman.

  
But now really wasn't the time to think about him as the blonde slowly - _barely_ regained her composure, thighs unhooking themselves from her shoulders allowing River to rise.

  
"Come on," Jane murmurs before kissing her, "I have a perfectly good bed upstairs and you wanted to test the acoustics of my apartment if I remember correctly, not the hallway."

  
"Hmm..." River leisurely pulled her shirt over her head, curls bouncing back into place, leaving herself exposed under her gaze.

  
"I don't know, this hallway might work. It did for you." The curly haired blonde turned to face away from the mechanic and unclasped her bra.

  
"River," 

  
She sighed before turning her head around to face Jane. The smaller blonde pouted at River, evidently thinking that would make her get her way.

  
It did.

  
"Yes, okay. Bed, it is. But you are in for a long night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew, something i am so unsure about is writing smut but of course we have to earn that m rating somewhere ;)
> 
> we reached a hundred kudos and i appreciate you all so much, i really didn't think this fic was gonna do so well but you have all proved me wrong so thank you!! <3
> 
> my update may be a bit later than usual this week as it's my birthday on the 12th!! so it might put me back a few days it might not
> 
> kudos & comments are always always appreciated!! <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	10. with drops of jupiter in her hair

  
_“There are stories about us, you know.”_

  
_“Oh, I dread to think.”_

  
_“I look them up sometimes.”_

  
_There are tears in her eyes. She can't understand why._

  
_“You really shouldn't do that.”_

  
_“Some of them suggest that the very last night we spend together is at the Singing Towers of Darillium. That wouldn't be true, would it?”_

  
_River's anguish is clear in her voice, she feels her heart tighten._

  
_“Spoilers.”_

  
_“Oh. Well, that would explain why you kept cancelling coming here. Do you remember that time-“_

  
_“River, stop.”_

  
_“When there were two of you-“_

  
_“Don't.”_

  
_“Because I want you to know that if this is the last night, I expect you to find a way round it.”_

  
_“Not everything can be avoided. Not forever.”_

  
_“But you're you. There's always a loophole. You wait until the last minute and then you spring it on me.”_

  
_“Every night is the last night for something. Every Christmas is the last Christmas."_

  
_"But you will. You'll wait until I've given up hope. All will be lost, and you'll do that smug little smile and then you'll save the day. You always do.”_

  
_River is begging her, begging her to save her from the end of them. That's how she believes it's all a dream, River Song wouldn't beg. Ever._

  
_“No, I don't. Not always. Times end, River, because they have to. Because there's no such thing as happy ever after. It's just a lie we tell ourselves because the truth is so hard.”_

  
_She dreamt about this aged Scottish voice a lot. A stranger's voice emptying out of her mouth, foreign to her as his anger and annoyance are so easily voiced. But there is something else lacing his words tonight, something so close to grief and it is unbearable to look at River with it in her heart._

  
_Maybe it was a nightmare after all._

  
_“No, Doctor, you're wrong. Happy ever after doesn't mean forever. It just means time. A little time. But that's not the sort of thing you could ever understand, is it?”_

  
"Jane?"

  
Her eyelids fluttered as she adjusted herself to her surroundings. A warm naked - _very naked_ body clung to her whilst hands combed soothingly through her hair. She noticed her own hands were wedged beneath the mattress and the body, palms spayed against bare skin.

  
"Hey."

  
Jane uttered the words as she looked up at River. Her curls fanned across the navy pillow whilst the morning sunlight shone through them, lighting them effortlessly like a halo. Her eyes briefly scanned down across the trail of marks that littered River's neck and chest. 

  
They had lost themselves so quickly in each other last night. Jane had quickly chased after a topless River however the two of them barely made it upstairs. It led to them defiling her purple sofa, her coffee table, her floor - _for at least an hour_ , her kitchen countertop and then her sofa again before they had finally fallen into bed.

  
It was odd really, watching River come undone beneath her. It had felt strangely like coming home. And she definitely hadn't been lying when she said she was a screamer, Jane was convinced she could still hear her exclamations ringing in her ears.

  
"Are you okay?"

  
"Course I am."

  
Jane pillowed herself further into River's soft body as her finger absentmindedly traced the divots of her spine.

  
"Are you sure?" The professor pulled her hand from Jane's hair and tilted her face to meet her eye, "You were quite restless and you also look like you are about to cry."

  
How was she supposed to explain it to River without sounding crazy? How was she supposed to tell her about singing towers and unshed tears of a person she became whilst she slept?

  
"Don't worry about it, promise ya, I'm okay. Just had a weird dream, probably cos I had like an hours sleep."

  
"Whose fault is that? How was I supposed to know you'd turn into a hypersexual being the moment I took my top off?"

  
Diversion: Successful.

  
" 'Scuse me, pretty sure you were the one who was on her knees as soon as I had shut the front door."

  
"Semantics."

  
The pair laughed before Jane reached up to join their lips. She swiftly manoeuvred herself to straddle River, her bare skin exposed as the sheets dropped from their haphazard covering of her body. She pressed her fingertips into the marks her teeth had left behind earning a deep growl from River.

  
River's fingernails traced the scratches she had etched into Jane's back as she had ridden her fingers relentlessly. The Professor then pulled her hand to the front of her body and palmed her breast, which was rewarded with a low moan from the mechanic as a new wave of arousal hit her. She threw her other arm around Jane's waist pulling her impossibly closer as she grinded against her bare abdomen.

  
Suddenly, a loud grumble echoed throughout the room.

  
Jane's cheeks flushed as her stomach shouted. It was times like this she really regretted living of a diet of custard creams, caffeine and a concoction of 'ice tea' she sometimes made if there was a celebration. 

  
River's laughs bounced through the apartment as Jane's form slumped against her. 

  
"How about I make us some breakfast, you must have some actual food in here. I need you to keep your energy up."

  
Jane rolled off of River, splaying herself across the empty side of the bed as River's laughs died down as she rose from the bed.

  
"Graham buys me some stuff sometimes. Says it's important to keep my blood sugar up. His wife was a nurse so he knows all the important stuff like that, I still don't really get it. I've survived all these years without it."

  
River just chuckled as she swanned across the room, her tanned skin glowing her the morning light. Jane stared longingly at her figure as her hips swayed sinfully. She knew if she looked up she would meet River's amused eye at her being so easily distracted.

  
This woman was going to be the death of her - she was sure of it.

  
\-------------

  
River watched as the bacon sizzled in the pan. Cooking had never been one of her strong points, it wasn't like she had had a mother or father around to teach her and Stormcage wasn't big on letting her near knives _or_ fire. After she had been pardoned and purchased her cottage on Luna, she had taught herself the basics of 21st century cuisine. It reminded her of the rare breakfasts her dad would make for them - all four Ponds.

  
She hummed the comforting tune of the Singing Towers as she rested her hip against the countertop. The same countertop Jane had spread her legs across a few hours before. She had assumed Jane would be shyer and wary of intimacy, that she'd be more comfortable with receiving rather than taking. 

  
She’d assumed wrong. 

  
Various marks littered her body and her throat felt as if she had swallowed razorblades - that was the only downfall of being as loud as she was. Jane had fucked her like she was an expert in all things River Song and God had it been amazing. 

  
A loud rendition of 'Womanizer' dragged her from her reminiscing. 

  
"Er, I think your phone is ringing?"

  
River laughed, that ringtone meant she was finally getting her answer. It was their go-to karaoke song, very much applicable to both of them, according to everyone else and the three other people they had nearly ended up marrying that night.

  
"Could you get it for me please?"

  
"Course."

  
She watched as Jane scrambled across the room, briefly stopping to pull a St Luke's university t-shirt from her drawers, before finding River's phone wedged between the sofa cushions. The chorus of 'Womanizer' resumed as the phone rang again, River watched as Jane's eyes widened at the phone in front of her - she really needed to change that contact picture.

  
"Wow. Wowie, wow. He is really naked and so are you, erm."

  
She remembered that trip to Nudus. It had been a nearly barren planet that had been inhabited by nudist colonists from all across the galaxy, the most punishable law being actually wearing clothes, and they had made it into one of the most beautiful planets with a thriving ecosystem. The two of them had spent a weekend there at one of the resorts - everything was a lot more interesting when you were always naked.

  
"Don't worry darling, he's just an old friend." 

  
Jane passed over the phone but not before sneaking a piece of bacon out of the pan. The blonde then threw herself onto the sofa and pulled out a leather journal, the one River had noticed on the bed the other night. The archaeologist quickly accepted the call and lifted the phone to her ear.

  
"Hello, Captain."

  
"Doctor Song, how's my favourite professor doing?"

  
"Oh you know, basking in the wonderful afterglow of many rounds of sex."

  
"Do tell me more, Professor. Do you need a third member, you know I'm always available for you. I can play the role of the doting husband, I think our marriage was legal in at least three solar system's and a bit of role-play never hurt anyone."

  
Good, this was Jack Harkness after they had gotten married. He was always more fun after, plus it meant they were a bit more linear than what could be expected of two time travellers.

  
"I will have to ask her but I might just keep her to myself. Do you think we are legal in Leadworth then Jack?"

  
"River! You've finally come back to Earth, in my century, and you don't even come and see me in person. I must say I'm extremely offended." Jack feigned fake annoyance, his slight laughter fracturing his facade.

  
"Honey, I had to make sure you were a version that could handle me."

  
"River, I'm not the Doctor. I can handle you whenever and wherever in my time stream."

  
"Don't I know it, Captain."

  
Their joint laughter echoed down their respective speakers as she lifted the pieces of bacon out of the pan. She turned her head around to see Jane asleep once again, head thrown back against the couch as she released an adorable cacophony of soft snores.

  
"So I did ring you the other day about something important. I need a new convertor for my vortex manipulator."

  
"Oh, so this wasn't a visit. You're stranded?"

  
"Not necessarily. I'm with my parents and well, the eye candy isn't so bad in this town." 

  
"You're with Amy and Rory Pond. Your parents are literal legends, like imagine being monogamous with your partner who was stuck in a literal box for all of two thousand years. Props to your dad for sticking it out. Do you think I can come down and meet them, oh and the eye candy? River say yes."

  
"Maybe dear. First, I need the converter. I've been warned I'm going to kill my dad off by just being my wonderful self so you showing up will probably be the last nail in the coffin."

  
"I will be on my best behaviour. It won't be that hard to find what you're looking for between us, a quick hop forward to the Time Agency. An immortal and a part Time Lord, we are a match made in the best part of hell, baby."

  
"Oh, I know."

  
"I'm just saying, if it gets a bit boring living with the ole parents or your new lover disappears, you can always come up here and do a bit of work with Torchwood. We are always in need of someone as equally charming as myself."

  
"I might actually take you up on that offer, Captain. I haven't shot anything in a while and hey, maybe we can perform a quick heist, I heard the Aldebaran death crystal is in need of being relocated. For old times sake."

  
"Did you actually just say yes? I've been trying to get you to come and meet the team for the past 5 years!"

  
The oldest version of Jack she had ever seen had been when he had become the legend. The Face of Boe. Even then he had tried, thousands of years later for him, he had offered her anything she wanted to go back and rebuild Torchwood on whatever Earth had colonised. Whatever the legend of Jack Harkness was to become, he was loyal to his planet till the end in his own way.

  
"As long as we get that convertor, I will. Me and you against the universe Captain Harkness."

  
"River Song, I could kiss you."

  
"We both know you will."

  
The pair caught up a bit before they both said their goodbyes, with Jack promising to teleport to Leadworth within the week. River made her way across the room to the sofa that was currently occupied by Jane's curled up form, the mechanic dead to the world around her.

  
That leather journal lay open across her chest, cautiously balancing as she snored. The trained assassin/thief with patience within River wanted to remove the journal and read all of its contents - find out what made Jane Smith lie about her dreams. However, she may be a highly functioning psychopath but she wasn't rude. 

  
She attentively removed the journal, closed it and placed it on the coffee table. River then positioned her arms accordingly and lifted Jane up off the sofa. The blonde barely stirred as she carried her sleeping form across the room and placed her onto the bed.

  
River slowly lay down beside her, pulling up the sheets to cover them both, and turned to face the other way. One of the downfalls of being part Time Lord was always going to be her lack of inclination to sleep.

  
After a few minutes, she heard a quiet rustling behind her, before an arm hooked across her waist, Jane's front moulding against her back. River shut her eyes and slowly but surely fell into a deep sleep. River was asleep as she missed the words Jane mumbled against her shoulder.

  
"Sleep tight, Melody."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i honestly thought i wouldn't get this chapter out in time but we are early!
> 
> i had to write jack into it, him and river are literally the same person but opposite genders and my headcanon will always be that they are bestfriends <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	11. i try to capture every minute

  
Her heels clicked against the ground as she walked through the empty corridors, arms full with stacks of paper and preparations for the upcoming classes.

  
Prepping for university lectures in the 21st century wasn't that different from the 51st surprisingly, however between her adventures in Cardiff with Jack and his team, spending the rest of her days with her parents and her nights at Jane's, River had managed to not complete any of the preterm work at all.

  
Consequently, this had led to her weekend being stolen and her stalking the halls of the empty university to reach her newly acquired office. She had just approached the wooden door when she felt her phone ring in her pocket, the chorus of ' _Womanizer_ ' blaring out.

  
River quickly pushed open the door, hurriedly placed the papers on her desk and pulled her phone from her pocket and to her ear.

  
"I can't believe you've done this, River!"

  
"What pray tell have I done now Jack? Because if this is still about me not taking that aphrodisiac from Sodiat with you, I don't know what to tell you."

  
"River, River you wound me. I'm over that now, I found two other very willing participants. One of them was a Vinvocci, they really are as prickly as they look."

  
"Jack?..."

  
"Oh yes, the drama. You didn't tell me about the fancy gala at the university tonight! We would 100% be the hottest pieces of ass in that place of dusty old men, Doctor Song!"

  
"What are you even talking about?"

  
"You left the invitation up here, it says that it is a gala for the professors before your really boring day job starts and it has an open bar!"

  
God, she remembered now. That creep of an Anthropology professor had hand delivered it to her whilst blatantly staring at her boobs rather than her face. Some human men could never quite grasp the complex of simple respect, luckily she had successfully avoided him since with her lack of presence at the university.

  
She had quickly scared him off _(hopefully)_ from asking her to go with him, with mentions of bringing her girlfriend.

  
Girlfriend? She had surprised herself with that one, she hadn't had one of those in about eighty nine years.

  
"Riverrrrrrrrr..."

  
"Jack, anyways why would I bring you with me? I could have much better options."

  
"I'm your most handsomest friend _slash_ husband _slash_ intergalactic lover! Ooo, wait! Are you planning on bringing eye candy with you?! This will be perfect! You can introduce me as your sexy mysterious colleague and we can bond!"

  
"I don't think that's the best idea."

  
"Why not? Scared? Maybe I will lure her away with my exquisite style and beautiful face?"

  
"Honey, that woman has barely let me leave her bed the last few weeks. I think it'd take more than you're pretty face to steal her away."

  
"So what is it then River? Come on it's me, tell ole Jacky boy your problems, I'd give you the adjoining strip tease but alas."

  
River's sighs echoed down the phone as she took a seat on her desk, distractedly tracing the frame of an old photograph of her and her parents. It was old to her anyway, but for Amy and Rory, they still had that day to come. She had worked it out from their perspective and realised it must've been just before... just before Manhattan by the reading glasses perched on her mother's head.

  
"It's just... _Jane_ , she's so human. Introducing my second immortal husband, who defends the earth from aliens on top of a time rift in Cardiff, just doesn't seem like it's something she'd quite understand."

  
"River, when have you ever had a problem with lying? You once let that whole colony of talking sloths think you were a goddess sent from the stars just to steal their statue. Like I said, I can just be a work colleague from the university. She doesn't need to know."

  
"I know, I know, I just- She doesn't deserved to be lied too, she feels- I don't know, different. Important."

  
"You know, for a psychopath you have a pretty good moral compass. River, you're lying to her to protect her. You've done that for people like your parents and the Doctor a hundred times at least. Nothing else. Well, also to let me meet her and find out if she has a sibling with the same stamina and sex drive. Because she's even got you looking tired and I know from experience that, that takes a while and some serious skills."

  
"You don't even know the half of it."

  
"You can tell me all about it over free drinks tonight."

  
"Okay, okay. I get it, since when did you wear the pants in this relationship? I will ask her, Captain."

  
"Usually, there isn't any pants - _or clothes_ involved. Now that my favourite wife is okay, don't tell the others, I'm going to have to go and make sure my suit is still intact after that little heist of ours last week."

  
"Please, you loved every minute of that."

  
"Hey, I never said I didn't! The making out for a bit of cover was the cherry on top. Kissing you, River Song, is enough to make an immortal heart stop beating."

  
"Flirt."

  
"You wouldn't want me any other way, Doctor Song. Now, go and tell eye candy that she needs to go and get her dancing shoes on."

  
\------------

  
River placed her phone down on her bedside table before moving to her wardrobe. Jane had immediately agreed to be her plus one to the event and had quickly reassured the archeologist that she had just the perfect outfit. 

  
She had thought she'd be more worried about Jane's attire however she now was surprised to find that she found the mechanic's short pants and rainbow t-shirts more endearing than questionable. River couldn't find it in herself to even try and correct whatever outfit the blonde was going to produce and just silently hoped she had some form of formal rainbows.

  
Carefully, she pulled the strapless red gown from its place within the wardrobe and slipped it onto her body. River gently attempted to tug the zipper behind her back but failed as it accidentally snagged the fabric beneath it. Luckily enough, she heard her mother's foot steps approaching her door - perks of being a trained assassin from the age of 2, you learn the difference between everyone's footsteps. 

  
A knock against the door followed the silence of Amy's footsteps, River quickly shouted her in, before she entered the room.

  
"Need some help?"

  
River nodded as her mother moved behind her, quickly pulling up the zipper then placing her hands supportively on her daughter's shoulders.

  
"Melody, you look like an angel!"

  
River couldn't help but tense her shoulders at her mother's words. It was the cruel irony of the world of a time traveller. 

  
An angel to her mother, now, was something of beauty. 

  
An angel to River, was what had torn away the final pieces of her already fractured family

  
"River? Was it too much, it's okay you can say. I can dial it down, I can go if you-"

  
She reached a hand to meet Amy's, which was still clamped to her shoulder even with her saying she would leave.

  
"No Mum, it's fine. I was just wondering what to do with my hair. I love it but God does it get everywhere. I might just shove it up out of the way."

  
"Let me help. I can probably help with some of it."

  
The last time Amy had been anywhere near her hair had been when she was Mels, the duo had both tried to dye a section of their blue as an ode to her Raggedy Man's blue box. She had been doing her own hair since she regenerated all those years ago but there was something about her mother's untrained yet slightly maternal touch that comforted that dark, empty hole in her heart that had only grown since Manhattan. 

  
"So how's Jane?"

  
Amy spoke as she place grips blindly in her hair as stray curls threatened to ruin the look. River couldn't help but liken the image in the mirror to a mother's frenzied attempt of doing their child's hair before their first day of school - just a couple hundred years too late.

  
"She's different in a good way, in an extraordinary way. She's fun, I don't know what someone like her is doing in this boring old town."

  
"Oi, young lady! It is cultured, not boring."

  
"Mother, I've seen the rise of real cultures. This is boring."

  
"Rude."

  
"Jane just seems so much bigger than this town, than this planet. I would've honestly thought she was an alien if I didn't know her like I do. She's nearly as smart as me and I have got at least a hundred years on her - _not that I look it_."

  
"I think this is the oldest I have seen you. My baby, all grown up and few hundred years old." 

  
"Excuse me, it is only a couple of hundred. Don't be putting centuries on me!"

  
Amy chuckled as she placed her chin on the blonde's shoulder, encasing River in her arms. The pair stared at the image in front of them, just a daughter taking comfort in her mother's embrace.

  
Their relationship was never going to be perfect. To River, her mother had been dead to her for a couple decades too many. She couldn't look at her without thinking the angel was going to be stood right behind her.

  
_Be a good girl_ , those words had violently bounced around her mind for years. She had said it as if she was just nipping to the corner shop, like she wasn't being displaced to an unreachable point in time to never be seen again.

  
_Be a good girl and you look after him_ , her mother had forced her to put out the fires of her husband's grief like a dutiful wife. In the end, it had always been about him, the fairytale of a man that stole Amelia Pond's life with cracks in her bedroom wall and fish fingers and custard.

  
River had accepted her minor role in that fairytale years ago.

  
The mother and daughter sat in front of the mirror for a few moments, basking in the rare quiet moment, until they heard a knock on the front door. 

  
"I'll go downstairs and make sure your Dad doesn't go all Rory the Roman on her." 

  
"Like you going all Scottish is going to gone down any better."

  
"Don't take your Dad's side, Melody Pond!"

  
\-------------

  
Jane anxiously fiddled with her burgundy bowtie as she waited from someone to answer the door. 

  
She looked cool, well that was what Yaz had said once she'd slid into view - she had actually used the word handsome but semantics. Her dark coat moved in the slight summer breeze as she took a deep breath as the door opened.

  
"Rory Pond!" 

  
The blonde exclaimed before pulling him in for a quick hug.

  
"Oh my God, not you too? I'm guessing River told you?"

  
"Of course she told me, Pond is a great name! Why wouldn't you want to be a Pond, it sounds like something out of a fairytale! And it is much more interesting than Williams."

  
"Its just, that's not how it wo-"

  
"Jane!"

  
Amy called as she made her way down the stairs, cutting off Rory's age old rant efficiently.

  
"River will be down in a minute. Do you want anything? A drink? Anything to eat?"

  
"Ooo yeah. Have you got any biscuits please? Love a biscuit."

  
Amy looked at Rory expectedly, who huffed belatedly and wandered off into the kitchen to see if they had anything but Jammie Dodgers in.

  
"I don't think I can cope with you on a sugar high as well as that misogynistic dinosaur faculty tonight, darling."

  
Jane locked eyes with River as the blonde elegantly stepped down the stairs. 

  
A vision in red. 

  
Hell in high heels. 

  
She couldn't stop her jaw from dropping as she took in the tight material that hugged River's curves, accentuating them perfectly. The bare skin of her shoulders glowed under the hallway's light, now free of its usual canopy of curls.

  
"Speechless? There's a first."

  
River slowly walked up to her, emphasising the sinful sway of her hips, and straightened Jane's bow tie. The intoxicating scent of her perfume as well as something uniquely River lingered in the air surrounding her, causing her heart to hammer against her chest.

  
"You'd be surprised with the many interesting ways I know how to use a bow tie."

  
Jane waved her hands about for a few seconds before placing them on the archaeologist's hips, pulling her forward and closer to her body. River towered over her easily in her high heels, the eight inch of heel confidently beating the slight platform of Jane's boots, causing the blonde to have to tilt her head upwards - _like usual._

  
"River, you look beautiful."

  
"You don't scrub up too bad either."

  
Jane reached a hand behind River's neck and attempted to pull her down into a kiss however the coughing noises coming from a particularly lanky ginger forced their heads apart.

  
"Still here ladies."

  
"Amy, yes... er sorry about that."

  
Jane blushed heavily at Amy's amused look. River rolled her eyes at the Scot's interruption before she looped her arm with Jane's.

  
"Right the car's here, don't wait up."

  
The three of them said their goodbyes, Rory still preoccupied in the kitchen. River and Jane slowly made their way down the path before the professor suddenly remembered something.

  
"Oh and Amy, you will probably want to move the wooden planter to the left, you're going to be having a visitor tonight if my dates are right and your hydrangeas might not survive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so glad you all loved jack & river, in my plan i had always written his parts as expendable in case you guys didn't like the way i write him but i am glad you do!!<3
> 
> we are half way through, i cant believe it!
> 
> i'm going away for the weekend so the next chapter could be a bit later than usual but it also might not be because i love writing this stuff for you guys!!
> 
> kudos & comments are always appreciated !! <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	12. when our fingers interlock, can't deny you're worth it

"So whose going 'round there tonight?"

  
River and Jane sat in the darkened back seat, fingers interlocked as they were driven closer to their destination. The traffic had caused them to be slightly late, which just made River long for her vortex manipulator even more than usual, time travel was seriously addictive.

  
"Oh, just an old friend of ours. He tells me he's going before he tells them sometimes. He's just terrible at parking hence the need to move her flowers." 

  
The mechanic just hummed in response seemingly distracted. Her leg bounced nervously near their joined hands causing River to questioningly eye up the blonde.

  
"Are you okay dear?"

  
Jane's movements suddenly stilled as she met the blonde's eyes. She offered a weak smile, scrunching her nose in the process, before she spoke.

  
"Sorry, sorry. It's just me and schools don't really get on. I kinda like to avoid them, helps me forget about it."

  
"Oh, was a younger Jane Smith trouble when she got her doctorate?"

  
"Err, maybe. Like I said I'm really good at forgetting about it. It was really boring, wasn't an experience worthy of remembering."

  
Before River had the chance to question Jane's wariness of her education and her life before Leadworth, the driver called to let them know they had finally arrived. 

  
The two of them swiftly left the car, linked their arms and headed towards the entrance. River smiled sweetly as she handed over the invitation to the doorman whilst Jane impatiently bounced on her feet beside her.

  
"Professor Song, there is a Mr Harkness waiting for you inside."

  
River nodded in acknowledgement before the two of them entered the building in search of Jack. God knows what trouble he could have caused already. He may have been her best friend but that didn't mean she trusted him enough to leave him in the company of her future colleagues unleashed - he'd probably given half the senior members heart attacks.

  
The pair manoeuvred around the occupied tables to reach their own, their arms still interlocked as they walked. River mostly led them as she attempted to locate Jack as well as make sure Jane didn't accidentally knock someone out with her lack of coordination.

  
"You didn't tell me they had snap! I love a game of snap!"

  
River, confused, dragged her eyes from her search for Jack to the blonde beside her. She silently chuckled as she saw Jane's eyes locked onto the casino table with wonder. Why was she always attracted to the ones with childish acclimations and a profound lack of common sense and social skills?

  
As she moved her eyes away to scan the room once more, she finally saw Jack across the room, chatting up the head of religious studies. River rolled her eyes amusedly before turning her attention back to Jane.

  
"Hey dear, why don't you grab us some drinks? I'm just going to go catch up with my friend for a minute."

  
"Anything for you, Professor."

  
Jane quickly pecked her lips then slipped away across the room. River quickly crossed the room, high heels clicking against the floor, immediately catching Jack's eye.

  
"River!"

  
The former time agent distractedly forgot about his ongoing conversation with the other professor and propelled himself forward to kiss River's cheeks enthusiastically. She felt his hand quickly make its way down her body, going to slap her arse, but she quickly flung her hand behind to restrict his hand.

  
"Behave." 

  
She chuckled as he moved his hand to salute her instead.

  
"Yes ma'am."

  
Jack laughed before he pulled away from River in search of her date for the night. He raised an eyebrow at her lack of presence and crossed his arms.

  
"So... where's Eye Candy then?"

  
"She's only gone getting the drinks, don't get your knickers in a twist. And I've told you Captain, her name is Jane. Not Eye Candy."

  
She accusingly pointed a finger at Jack as he threw his hands up in his defence.

  
"Hey, I will call her by her name when I find out if she's good enough for my wife. Thank you very much."

  
"No need to go all protective husband over me now, Jack. I already have... had one of those."

  
River couldn't help but allow the slight twinge of hurt in her eyes as she mentioned her madman. It was easy at Amy's house now, they'd figured out not to mention his name. Jack had been doing everything he possibly could - apart from sleeping with her like usual - to keep her mind occupied on anything but him. 

  
"Hey, hey," He tilted her reluctant head upwards to meet his eye, "Don't get all depressed about that old man now, you've got a new young hot piece of ass, you cougar."

  
"Excuse me, if anyone's a cougar here it is you! I'm only two hundred, what are you on now, your two thousandeth year at least?"

  
"And don't I still look great?"

  
Jack just smirked as River rolled her eyes once again. It was going to be a long night with him around, a long night but good night. The two of them could start a party in a funeral home. Just as she was about to get into the warning of the lone Cyberman that had appeared recently on her radar to warn the Doctor about, she felt a familiar arm loop around her waist.

  
"Hiya! I'm Jane Smith. My friends call me Doctor or Doc though."

  
Jane happily offered her hand for Jack to shake as River lent into the blonde's hold.

  
"You're kidding me."

  
Jack looked apprehensibly between the two blondes in front of him. Jane slowly lowered her hand as River searched Jack's eye in hopes for an answer on his current state.

  
"What about? Is it the Doc thing? Its actually not that confusing see-"

  
"No, not that Doctor. Here I am, supporting you through your 'sort of break up' and you are fucking shacked up with him, well her!"

  
"Jack, I can maybe understand why you'd think that but it isn't him. Trust me."

  
"It is!"

  
"It isn't. Don't you think I checked, she's the farthest thing from him as possible. Plus you wouldn't even know, you haven't even seen the last two faces of his!"

  
"Hey, its not my fault he's been avoiding me! Are you really sure though, Song? This isn't some elaborate prank or something?"

  
"Of course I'm bloody sure!"

  
The two time travellers stared at each other, Jack barely convinced about Jane's identity and River slightly agitated that he'd question it in the first place.

  
"Er, can someone tell me whats going on?"

  
The spouses silently agreed to put the conversation to bed for the time being with Jack quickly refocusing his attention on the shorter blonde in front of him. His wandering eyes uncaged as he eyed up Jane, his flirtatious smirk back in place, before swiftly pecking her cheek.

  
"Sorry about that, I thought you were someone else for a minute. We have a friend you see, his face changes a lot."

  
"What, like plastic surgery?"

  
"Yeah, something like that. But, hey! We aren't here to talk about him. What about you? Aren't you an adorable little half-pint, I could eat you right up. Captain Jack Harkness, but you can call me whatever you want."

  
Jane smiled, slightly awkwardly, as she looked at River for some kind of interjection.

  
"Me and Jack have been friends for years-"

  
"Feels like centuries."

  
"Anyways, you know how I sometimes go on those freelance archaeological consultations, Jack helps me out with those."

  
"Oh, so you are an archaeologist?”

  
“Definitely, I love a good bone. Archaeology is all about being hands on, me and River are great with our hands. But I'm sure you know all about River's talents.”

  
"Jack, what did I say?" River interrupted as Jane's face darkened by several shades of red.

  
"Right sorry. Best behaviour for you Doctor Song, and for you Doctor Smith." Jack tried his best to appear sheepish as he spoke, his subtle smirk defeating his weak attempt.

  
"You know what I think we should do, ladies?" 

  
Jack grabbed both of their hands and dragged them onto the half empty dance floor, placing River's hand in Jane's as he stepped away. 

  
"Dance. C'mon! Me and Jane are definitely the most handsome slash beautiful ones in the room and you, River, are a vision as always."

  
At the Captain's wink at River, Jane possessively slung her other arm around the archaeologist's waist and guided her to another vacant spot, far far away from Jack, who just smiled mischievously and gave a quick wave.

  
"Care for a dance Professor Song?"

  
"You can dance?"

  
"You'll just have to find out won't you?"

  
River grinned as she looped her arms around Jane's neck, with the mechanic's hands finding home on her hips. The two of them pressed their bodies together, slightly inappropriately for a faculty party but hey, her girlfriend just brought out the human in her. 

  
They swayed softly and just existed.

  
She hadn't just existed in forever.

  
\-------------

  
The pair danced for what felt like hours, the two of them lost in each other, before Jane had slowly removed her hands from River's waist. 

  
It was haunting her, seeing Jack for some reason. Whenever she looked at him, she felt like she was seeing a ghost, an echo of someone she once knew. 

  
Sometimes it happened with Amy and Rory, with her fam, even River. 

  
But his face just felt so familiar, so important, and her head hurt. 

  
It fucking hurt as remnants of something dared to claw to the front of her mind.

  
Hence, her leaving River alone on the dance floor in search of the toilets, in search of quiet. 

  
That was how she found herself sat on a closed toilet seat in an empty cubicle with her head in her hands, Jack's voice smashing her around her mind with words of a meeting she knew never happened.

  
_"Long time, no see old friend."_

  
_Jack stood in front of a pile of rubble, the ashes of a door lingering in the air. He stepped forward and moved the hair that slightly covered her eyes. The new light from his entrance highlighted the tally marks that scattered across the grey walls and the grime that covered her hands._

  
_"And I've got to say I love the upgrade. Man or woman, you pull both of exquisitely."_

  
_"Jack?"_

  
_"The man, the myth, the legend himself. Did you really think we'd let you waste away on this old asteroid for eternity? Get your coat, we're going back to Earth Doc."_

  
_She attempted to pull herself to her feet but was defeated by her apparent lack of energy. Jack just grimaced as he offered to lift her up._

  
_"You are not carrying me."_

  
_"Thought you'd say that."_

  
_She felt the syringe pierce her skin before she felt the heaviness drag across her body, the exhaustion catching up to her._

  
_"I see you've still got a man's pride."_

  
_A second voice called to her as she fought unconsciousness._

  
_"Doctor, you'll be okay."_

  
"Jane, are you okay?"

  
The blonde was pulled from her daydream as River's voice echoed around the toilets. Jane lent forward and unlocked the cubicle allowing River to see her and enter. The archaeologist quickly entered the small cubicle locking the door behind her.

  
"Are you okay? You've been gone a while."

  
River gently placed her hands on either side of Jane's face as she swiped her thumb against tears that she didn't even know had gathered there.

  
"Don't worry about me. It's probably 'cos I only had a few custard creams today and not something proper to eat like you all keep telling me too."

  
"You're complaining because you've only eaten biscuits? Something is definitely wrong."

  
She knew she should just tell River about it all, about what haunted her in her sleep and now when she least expected it. But she'd just sound mad and River surely didn't want some madwoman. 

  
Jane brought her hands around River's body and slowly placed them on the back of her thighs, inching the taller blonde forward and incline her too straddle her lap. River took the invitation and took a seat, allowing Jane to then crash their lips together in a heated kiss.

  
Their tongues clashed as they welded their bodies together. Jane pressed kisses against the column of her neck, sucking on her pulse point with no regard for the mark she'd leave behind. There was no pause for tenderness or calm between their kisses as Jane attempted to lose herself completely in the heat of River.

  
Jane pried River's mouth open, slipping her tongue inside as River moaned. The professor's hips bucking in search of some sort of friction.

  
River pulled at her bowtie, trying to urge the blonde to just do something, anything. Jane's hands skirted confidently under her dress and up her bare thighs, fingertips slightly catching on the lace of her underwear. 

  
"Do you want me River?"

  
"Yes, God. Yes!"

  
With no hesitation in her movements, Jane's fingers slid beneath the fabric and straight inside of her.

  
The pair created a relentless rhythm as River's head hung back in unbridled ecstasy. 

  
As Jane began to move her thumb to swipe against her clit, two voices echoed throughout the otherwise empty room.

  
"She's so hot, I honestly don't know how she ended up teaching archaeology around here."

  
"Be careful, your massive gay crush is showing. She's got a wife or a girlfriend or something, did you not see them come in together? They're both as hot as each other."

  
River's hard pinch to her shoulder brought her back to her current movements. She searched River's eyes for confirmation to keep going and was met with an enthusiastic but exasperated nod. 

  
Jane reassumed her pace inside her as she watched River, barely able to control the groans that she could tell lingered in her throat. 

  
She wondered if River knew about the pleading look that was held in her eye before Jane gave her what she wanted and circled her clit with her thumb once again. 

  
River's hands fisted in Jane's hair, burying her head in her shoulder to hide her moans, as Jane finally brought her over the edge.

  
The archaeologist took a few minutes before she dislodged herself from her lap and attempted to straighten her dress. She then unlocked the cubicle door, the two of them thankful to see no one outside, and tried to fix what little lipstick that was left on her lips.

  
Jane sidled up beside her, washing her hands and lips of lipstick, then straightened her bowtie. The smaller blonde, still completely enamoured with River, gazed warmly at the professor's movements however she panicked as she took in the mark that marred River's neck.

  
"Sorry, have you got something to cover it up? I knew I should've worn my scarf, but it's rainbow you see so Yaz said that it wouldn't really-" 

  
"Don't worry about it, I rather like it."

  
River's red painted fingernail traced the bruise as she kept her darkened eyes locked with Jane.

  
"But River, they will know about the..."

  
She motioned to the cubicle behind her, still unable to conjure up the maturity to actually say the word _s e x_.

  
"To think you just gave me one of the best orgasms of my life and you can't even say sex. Come on, I have nothing to cover it up with anyway so we will just both have to live with it for the night."

  
River offered her hand to Jane, who took it and pulled her in for a swift kiss, before the two of them headed back into the dance hall to dance the rest of the night away.

  
The pair noted that Jack was nowhere to be seen for the rest of the night but neither was the head of religious studies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i spent the week of my holiday going over the plan for the next few chapters and ended up realising i needed two more so now we are halfway through!!!!!
> 
> this chapter would have been up earlier but mamma mia 2 was on so i ended up watching that instead of finishing this chapter, sorry <3 :) 
> 
> thank you guys for all the comments and kudos, i love hearing what you guys think and predict for the next chapters!!! <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	13. do you ever get that fear that you can't shift the type that sticks around like summat in your teeth?

"River?"

  
She felt an impatient finger prod against her abdomen as she attempted to keep her concentration on the literary work of an author she was sure was born around this year.

  
"Riverrrrrr...?" 

  
The archaeologist forcefully shut her book before she looked down at Jane, who gazed up at her innocently from her place moulded around River's side, her head nestled against her shoulder.

  
"Do you think aliens exist?"

  
River laughed at the blissfully unaware blonde. 

  
"Darling, I think alien species are closer than you know."

  
Apparently assured by the answer, the blonde reburied her head into her book about alien conspiracies whilst River tried to locate where she had left off.

  
The pair had been basking in the quiet of the morning, their naked legs tangled between the sheets as they silently read. Jane's usual hyper activeness dulled by their activities from the night before as well as her concentration on the book before her. 

  
River had just turned the page when she suddenly felt waves of energy roll through her entire being. An energy so comforting and familiar that she immediately knew who it belonged to, her third parent, the TARDIS.

  
Her heartbeats elevated all at once, thank god for her perception filter.

  
Jane was still calm beside her but River was sure she could hear here Grandad downstairs - she remembered her parents mentioning something about changing a light bulb.

  
"You leave the back door open?"

  
The barely muffled voice of Brian travelled through the house.

  
"What is he doing?"

  
She heard her Father's voice after, a riot of what sounded like paper flying, slightly concealing his words.

  
"I'm going to kill him."

  
River heard her mother's Scottish tone before the house dropped into complete silence. She frustratingly placed her hand against her forehead at her husband's complete lack of parking skills - River could practically hear the TARDIS' fellow frustration radiating from her console.

  
"What was that noise?"

  
She turned her head to find Jane sat up, the sheets clinging to her small frame, her book abandoned beside her.

  
"They probably just left the back door open."

  
River quickly spoke as she removed herself from the bed and pulled on a pair of pyjama shorts and Jane's undershirt that had been discarded carelessly the night before and clung much more tightly to her figure.

  
"I've heard it before, I'm sure of it."

  
She looked over at the blonde. River was very much aware of the impact her husband had had on Earth since civilisations had begun but many had only witnessed him alone. Never the TARDIS. And Jane had never mentioned any of it before. No Daleks or Cybermen. No Zygons or any other aliens that had attempted to invade her parents' home planet.

  
River knew it was possible. The Doctor had told her about Donna and how she had been oblivious to the countless alien invasions when he had first met her.

  
"We live in England darling, we live in a constant wind tunnel half the time so you probably have heard the sound of wind blowing through a house. I will just go and shut the door, I'm sure I heard the front door get locked so Amy and Rory must have left."

  
She effectively dismissed Jane before shutting her bedroom door and running downstairs. River wandered into the living room to find a collection of papers thrown around the room and all three of her relations missing, along with a light fitting with no light bulb.

  
As she rapidly tried to clean up the mess , she felt the lingering telepathic connection between her and the TARDIS suddenly strengthen. Perks of being the daughter of the TARDIS meant that she was always able to feel her mentally, her being always stayed long after the Doctor had gone.

  
She felt the TARDIS' attempt at a warning, an instruction to leave as soon as possible. She always hated that one, it meant her husband wasn't quite ready to see that version of her without causing a slight paradox and altering a couple timelines.

  
River had never been one to listen to her parents. Not when she grew up with two of them and was now also two hundred years older than them. And especially not, when the other was a sentient being that stole her husband nine hundred years before her birth. 

  
Plus, if it was a version of the Doctor that still travelled with his Ponds, then it was most definitely the bowtie wearing, sentimental idiot she married. 

  
Defiantly, she ignored the warning and continued collecting the mess of papers and rearranging the photo frames that had tilted from the shaking of the walls caused by the TARDIS. Soon enough, as she finished clearing the set of shelves near the television, she felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around her, pulling her to sit on the sofa.

  
"You were taking forever."

  
Jane stated as she sprawled backwards across the sofa, staring at the ceiling. Her usual striped top now hung off her frame along with a pair of River's black shorts. 

  
"Ive only been gone ten minutes!"

  
"I have a very small attention span, I'm working on it!"

  
"Well, at least you're self aware, Dear."

  
River sat beside her and idly stroked her hand against her bare shin before speaking again.

  
"How about a film? There's not much else to do on a Sunday and you've obviously given up on your book."

  
"Have you got The Lion King? Absolutely love The Lion King."

  
River rolled her eyes at the request but still went and grabbed the batted copy of 'The Lion King' that she had been made to watch too many times with the Doctor himself, sadly it looked like she'd have to repeat that endless cycle with Jane.

  
As the opening song played through the TV, River settled in beside Jane - half on top of her with a leg thrown haphazardly over her.

  
\--------------

  
Jane was sure she could do it.

  
She had been inching her hand closer and closer for the last thirty minutes.

  
She had tried sitting still, really tried focusing on her favourite movie that played in front of her, but what could she do? River had space hair!

  
Sure, River was fine with her grabbing it when they were rolling around naked but whenever Jane attempted to tangle her fingers in there when they were clothed, she would move her head away and complain.

  
_"There is a lot of work that goes into this hair, I'm not as effortlessly beautiful as I may have led you to believe. So keep your hands away."_

  
Then River would resume kissing her. Then River would do that thing with her tongue and-

  
_Anyways._

  
She couldn't be getting distracted on her mission as her fingertip gently skirted against a stray golden curl. At River's lack of acknowledgement, Jane then tentatively moved her palm to rest against her hair.

  
"What did I say about the hair?"

  
Jane nearly jumped out of her skin as River's voice cut through whatever conversation Simba and Timon were having.

  
"But Riverrrr..."

  
Jane pouted as River sat up and turned her head to give her a pointed stare with a raised eyebrow. She pulled herself up right as she attempted her best pout in hopes River would give in.

  
In defiance and definitely not persuaded by Jane, River switched her attention to the TV, leaving Jane to think of ways to regain her affection. She slowly edged forward trying her best to achieve stealth as she moved closer to her girlfriend.

  
She had done extremely well to reach the position that she had, sat upright on her knees, her hands not far from River's great mass of hair when her usual clumsiness washed over her. 

  
Jane wobbled and went to place a hand against the coffee table but proceeded to forget that she was in fact at the Ponds and not at her own home. This meant that the coffee table was just a bit to far away, leaving her to fall flat to the ground, taking a glass from the table with her, which smashed on impact.

  
"Ow." 

  
She felt River's hands against her shoulders, nudging her up into a seated position before checking her head for any wounds.

  
"Oh, you idiot. Are you okay?"

  
"Just bit of a head wobble."

  
"And your hand?"

  
Jane looked down at her hand to find blood coating the surface of her palm and falling in puddles through her fingers. She never liked that hand, it didn't feel like her own, like it had been added later on, and she especially didn't like it when it had a gash in it.

  
"Oh yeah."

  
"Come on, let me sort you out."

  
Jane allowed herself to be partially lifted by River, who then walked her into the kitchen and sat her down on one of the dining chairs. As River ransacked the cupboard in search of a first aid kit that Rory probably kept about, Jane's eyes scanned the somewhat familiar room. 

  
Amy must have loved putting photographs around the house, she had realised. Most of them with a man in a bowtie, a few from their childhood with a girl Jane had yet to learn the name of as no one spoke about her and even a few with River in. 

  
Her favourite one, yes she had chosen one, no it wasn't weird, was the one that usually hung above the dining table. It was of Amy, River and Rory sat around a table in what must have been a futuristic themed restaurant by the looks of the decor. River sat between them, smiling the biggest smile Jane had ever seen, Amy's head resting on her wild hair with Rory looking at River with an almost fatherly smile.

  
But for some reason as she looked at the wall, she found it bare, completely devoid of the picture whilst the other two of Amy and Rory alone still hung. She moved her head to look underneath the table in search of the missing photograph in case it had fallen to the floor when River's voice reached her.

  
"Stop moving, you're going to make it worse."

  
Jane obediently straightened her posture and offered her injured hand to River, who was now armed with a first aid kit. The pair sat in silence as she cleaned her wound and placed a plaster over the cut that looked a lot smaller cleaned- Jane pretended not to notice the solemn look in River's eye as she noticed the lack of photo frame.

  
She examined her patched up hand, starching her fingers and palm, a dull ache and a blue plaster the only remains of her injury.

  
"Good as new. You might as well be a medical doctor, Doctor Song."

  
"I don't think I have the right bedside manner for that one, dear."

  
"Oh, your bedside manner is brilliant. I've had it first hand."

  
River leant forward and placed a quick kiss to her lips before moving to put the kettle on. Jane lent back on her chair, just admiring River as she moved when she heard footsteps moving towards the kitchen. 

  
That's weird she thought, Jane was sure she hadn't heard the front door and for some reason it sounded like the back door was open again.

  
Amy opened the kitchen door, Jane effectively blocked from her view by the door as she spoke.

  
"River, you're here and you're alone, good. The Doctor's here and you should just go and talk to him, see he still thinks you're in prison-"

  
Prison? Jane was sure she had said prison. River had been in prison?

  
"Amy, please just don't say another word."

  
"Why? I know you're not his biggest fan right now but-"

  
Amy opened the door, now making eye contact with Jane who just stared back at the previously oblivious ginger.

  
"Oh God. River. Jane, hi. Um, I'm just gonna go and... talk to my husband. You two feel free to erm, do what you want, er how much did you hear?"

  
"Enough."

  
River braced her arms against the counter as Amy cowardly left the room. 

  
"So prison?"

  
"It's not what you think, just let me explain."

  
"I'm not bothered about prison, River. It's the fact you didn't say anything."

  
"Just, please wait upstairs for a few minutes and I will come and explain it to you. I just need to sort the Doctor out and I can explain, just listen to my explanation that's all I ask."

  
"Why should I? Yaz warned me that you were trouble, don't get me wrong, I love a bad girl me, but I defended you because I thought you'd been honest with me."

  
Jane abruptly stood up and headed for the exit. River shot forward and attempted to pull her back to face her but failed as she shook her hand from her weak hold on her wrist.

  
"Jane, please."

  
"River, I'm going."

  
She walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway, easily forgetting her coat as she stormed. Jane quickly chanced a glance to the side of her, to her surprise she instantly made eye contact to the stranger that stood there. 

  
There was something hauntingly familiar about the bowtie and tweed that sent shivers down her side. 

  
The Doctor, they had called him.

  
Doctor who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, sorry this is late i got swamped with my course :(
> 
> thank you for all the comments and kudos, i cherish every single one, its honestly my favourite notification. <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	14. i understand, i'm a liability

  
She took a minute to breathe.

  
Jane had obviously left if the slam of the front door had been any indication, and the hushed voices of her parents and her husband echoed through the walls. 

  
Nothing would ever work out for her, would it? Now Jane was convinced she was a shady ex-convict that also lied blatantly about her past. Yes, the majority of that may have been true but not in the way the mechanic thought!

  
She watched as the door opened, Amy and Rory pouring through noticeably without the Doctor in tow. 

  
"This better not be a bloody intervention!"

  
"River, just talk to him. Let him make up for it." 

  
Amy spoke, River rolling her eyes in response. She knew she hadn't been openly clear about what had transpired between her and the Doctor before she had arrived at their front door, but she honestly didn't believe her mother was dim enough to think a quick conversation with a face that hadn't even had the argument with her, would solve the problem.

  
She looked at her Dad, he was usually the more sympathetic of the two. River had always known she had gotten her ability to love endlessly and her compassion from him. He had loved Amy for forever, even when he was second best to the Doctor. She had loved the Doctor for forever, even when she was second best to the universe.

  
"Amy has a point, you can't fix the problem by running away from it."

  
"Neither of you really understand, do you?"

  
River ignored the pained look in their eyes as she stepped into the hallway whilst firmly reapplying her mask - never show the damage. She pulled her emotionally exhausted form into his view, River understood that earlier that day, she had rationed that it'd be okay to see him and his stupid bowtie, but that was before she had an angry and possibly broken-hearted Jane running around Leadworth.

  
"Hello, Sweetie." 

  
She stepped forward planting a kiss on his lips, it had at least been a few decades since she had seen his face, well this one.

  
"Who was your tiny friend?"

  
Always with the questions, just like Jane. Did she have a type?

  
"Jane?"

  
"She just kind of stood there, looking at me all suspiciously. I tried introducing myself to her and she just ran off, it was like she'd seen a ghost, it was actually quite rude." 

  
"Well Sweetie, you are a strange man that just appeared in the living room."

  
"But this is the Pond's living room, I'm allowed. Isn't it? I'm sure I parked in the right one."

  
She absentmindedly played with his bowtie whilst he spoke, thinking of the quickest way to get rid of him. Seeing him now was like rubbing salt in a wound that would never start to heal.

  
"You did get the right one, but please don't kidnap my Grandfather next time."

  
"Oi, Brian loved it. He's going to go travelling now and see the world!"

  
The Doctor excitedly exclaimed whilst River attempted a smile, hoping to hide the grimace. Another family member pulled into their world, their beautifully messed up world that ended with her alone and her parents in an inescapable time period decades before their birth.

  
"So diaries, where are you up too? Have I taken you to the Thames yet?"

  
She smiled as she reminisced of that birthday. Stevie Wonder performing whilst her and the Doctor danced under the moonlight. Then she had returned to Rory, a father desperate to save the child that was unknowingly stood in front of him.

  
"No diaries today, because you aren't staying long enough for it to be written about."

  
"You can't kick me out River. What about if I take you out, I was thinking Planet of the Rain Gods! Doesn't it sound cool?"

  
She remembered that day too, luckily he had whipped out the umbrella quick enough to save her hair otherwise she would have shoved that umbrella somewhere.

  
"You're not taking this version of me, Sweetie. Go find one that you can take, there's a past version of me waiting in Stormcage to be whisked away."

  
"But River!"

  
"No buts, do you really want to argue with your wife right now?"

  
He tilted his head down to kiss her before stepping towards the TARDIS. 

  
"Are you sure?"

  
"Yes dear, now go, otherwise you might miss me. I'm sure Jack was around back then."

  
"I have a time machine, I won't be late River Song."

  
She raised an eyebrow at his blatant misconception.

  
"Say goodbye to Amelia and Rory for me."

  
"Of course, but don't act like you won't be popping back in as soon as you've dropped me back to my cell."

  
River watched as he stepped back into the TARDIS, choosing to ignore her comment in favour of dematerialising and going to Stormcage. As soon as the sound of the TARDIS no longer bounced off the walls, she tiredly sat down on the sofa, her head falling into her hands.

  
"Why did you make him leave? You should've spoken to him."

  
She looked up to see her mother stood there, her arms crossed in judgment - she really chose her moments to act like an actual mother, didn't she?

  
"He hasn't even had the argument yet."

  
"Still, he's the Doctor, you jump in and out of each other timelines. He can't have done anything that bad."

  
"Of course you think that."

  
River scoffed, what was it with humans following him so blindly, especially her mother?

  
"What is that supposed to mean?"

  
Maybe it was the tension that had already coiled in her stomach from her argument with Jane, or the fact she had had to face a Doctor that hadn't said goodbye to her yet, but she just couldn't keep quiet anymore. 

  
"What I mean is, he gets your baby taken, raised into a murderer who spends years in prison for the murder of the Doctor, who is still very much alive, and you don't even care enough about your precious Melody anymore, now that's she's me, to even be mad about it."

  
"River that isn't fair, you can't blame him, it wasn't his fault."

  
"It was exactly his fault and I don't understand what you get out of pretending it wasn't."

  
"He would've saved you if he could River."

  
She just laughed, ignorance really was bliss.

  
"No, he wouldn't. He is a selfish old man, he knew when he could've saved her, he chose not too. He spent that entire summer with me, ignoring your phone calls when he was supposed to be looking for your baby. You didn't even try and deal with it, it was like I was just an unnecessary character in your so-called perfect fairytale."

  
River scanned her mother's face, she looked angry. But the anger looked like it had been on that fateful day on Demon's Run, directed at her. Penny in the air...

  
"I lost my child River! I lost my baby forever and I can't even have anymore! I'm allowed to deal with that however I choose!"

  
Penny drops. 

  
"Well, I'm very sorry I will never be the daughter you 'lost'. I was never going to be enough and I'm sorry you can't just replace me, Amy."

  
She quickly pulled herself up from the sofa, barging past Amy to grab a coat and her boots. River only took a moment to notice the signature grey of Jane's coat as she pulled it around her body. Uncaring for what lay beneath her coat, she stormed out of the door, ignoring the calling of her name from behind her.

  
\-------------

  
River had wandered for a while before taking a seat on the empty swings of the park she had frequented her second time round as a child. Now, as she pathetically moved the swing, she attempted to focus on the genuine happiness she had felt on those days. Her and Amy terrorising Rory by seeing how high they could push him, claiming it would cure his fear of heights. 

  
But even now as she immersed herself in the memory of their laughter, she couldn't help but focus on what was at the edge of little Mels Zucker's memory. A woman stood next to a tree, an eyepatch and horrible makeup clinging to her face whilst she smirked. Madame Kovarian, the mistress of her nightmares. 

  
Lost in thought, she failed to notice the shouting of her name from behind her. The northern tint to the voice made her turn her head, only to find Graham stood there looking at her concerned. She offered him a quick smile before turning back around, counting the leaves that had fallen to the playground floor. 

  
"That's the Doc's, isn't it?"

  
Graham's voice now came from beside her as he took a seat on the other swing.

  
"Yes. What are you doing here, Graham?"

  
"I could ask you the same question."

  
She just raised an eyebrow, hoping to convey that right now all he was going to get out of her was silence.

  
"I was on a run. Shocking, I know. I used to go travelling and it surprisingly involved a lot of running, thought I would keep it up now I'm home. Plus, Grace was always banging on about a healthy lifestyle, and I'm planning on staying around a long time to look after Ryan - not that he needs me."

  
"Jane told me about Grace, I"m sorry for your loss. From how Jane says you describe her, she sounds like an amazing woman."

  
"And from the way Jane bangs on about you, I think you two would've got on great."

  
River smiled the best she could before returning her attention to the floor.

  
"You know, when I first met Jane, she wouldn't talk about her life then, never mind what happened before she met us lot. Still now, we don't really know that much and that's okay but we loved her, even more, when she told us about parts of her past. Grace used to always go on about how communication went both ways, the same way most things do."

  
"You're not very subtle, you know that. When did you talk to her?"

  
"She spoke to Yaz on the phone about being right or something like that. No one can find her now, Ryan checked the flat and she didn't come round to the garage."

  
"I think I know where she is." 

  
This was it, make or break. River jumped up off the swing, bidding him a quick farewell before running back to Amy and Rory's. Luckily, she saw that the car was gone from its usual spot, which meant hopefully the house would be empty. 

  
She pulled the key from where she had hastily shoved it in Jane's pocket and quickly ran upstairs. 

  
\-------------

  
The setting sun shone through the gaps in between the trees as she harshly threw another rock into the bottom of the river. 

  
Jane didn't even know how long she'd been there, the time had always been untraceable there and the position of the sun was her only indicators. 

  
For someone who talked as much as she did, Jane had always taken comfort in the silence and she was quick to notice the breaking off it by the footsteps from behind her.

  
"Are you pretending that it's me? I'm not hurt, I just think that there is much more interesting role-plays we could partake in."

  
River looked beautiful as always. No, she was supposed to hate her right now. But Jane was only human and the sun rays catching in her golden curls melted the weak walls around her heart. 

  
She was supposed to be angry, she was angry.

  
"River, will you just-"

  
"Professor and student? A classic and it will probably appease your slight authority ki-"

  
"STOP!... just stop."

  
She allowed her body to drop to the floor, her figure slightly shivered as it hit the damp floor. Jane heard River step forward before she felt a pair of hands tentatively pushing her coat around her shoulders. She then took a seat beside the mechanic, pulling off her leather jacket to cushion her, revealing the long-sleeved top beneath it. Jane looked down at her own apparel, the same top and shorts she had flung on that morning in a haste to return to River's side.

  
"How did you find me?"

  
"I have a sixth sense for these sort of things."

  
Jane just raised an eyebrow in response, maybe she'd been spending a little too much time with the Professor, she thought as she noticed her similar actions.

  
"I saw Graham and he told me that they'd checked your flat and the garage and they couldn't find you." 

  
"Are you a detective now?" 

  
"Why? Do you think it'd suit me?"

  
River's attempt to amuse the blonde was met with a heavy silence as the two of them sat there, the farthest apart they'd been in the months they had known each other.

  
"I was falsely imprisoned for a crime I didn't commit. I was acquitted after I had already served a part of the sentence. It was stricken from the record, meaning I could go about my life how I chose - hence how I'm allowed to teach. And I'm guessing Yaz didn't find anything on the background check she definitely ran."

  
"Why didn't you just tell me that, River?"

  
"I'm used to keeping my secrets, Jane. You know I didn't have a family growing up, the owner of the orphanage, Madame Kovarian, saw any sign of emotion as weakness, that was how I first learnt to hide my damage. And then I thought I had found my family with Amy and Rory but they don't want the parts of me that aren't what they choose. And my husband... I would've destroyed planets in his name but I would never be worthy, I still don't know if he ever loved me."

  
Jane edged her hand closer to River's, taking it within her own, interlacing their fingers.

  
"River, I just want you, damage 'n all. You don't need to go tearing down planets for me, I just want the real, honest, amazing you, no secrets."

  
"I think I can manage that, a second chance?"

  
Jane used her free hand to cup River's jaw, bringing their lips together. The pair reacquainted themselves for a few minutes before the mechanic pulled away, a gentle smile across her features.

  
"A second chance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we hit 150 kudos!! i love and appreciate every one of you :)
> 
> they are back together so you can all rest easy and next chapter definitely isn't going to be a christmas chapter in the middle of september, definitely not...
> 
> kudos & comments are always very much appreciated !! <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	15. and the bells were ringing out for christmas day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get your christmas playlists ready :)

  
Months had passed as Jane and River's days were spent with one another.

  
After their confrontation, River had been honest - well as honest as she could be without bringing Jane into her extremely complicated and dangerous world. She had told her the tales of her years spent in education, minus it being on the moon in the future part, and about how she and Jack were banned from at least 20 clubs up and down England. 

  
She had even spoken about the Doctor, how it was like loving the stars with no belief of love in return - on those nights, Jane had held her closer and whispered in her ear,

  
_"You know, pain and loss define us just as much as happiness or love. Hiding the way you truly felt to protect him, no one should have to do that. It's okay to be angry and upset about it, River."_

  
And if she had cried fresh tears onto her neck that night, Jane had never mentioned it.

  
On the subject of tears, River and her parents' relationship was still heavily fractured but they'd gotten better but it was like putting plasters on bullet wounds.

  
Rory had spoken to her the day she had finally returned after she had hidden out at Jane's for a few days after they had reconciled. He had apologised to her and promised that they'd both do better as he spoke on behalf of both of them. 

  
Together, they had set up a new routine on the night's River would stay up to mark and Rory had late shifts. They would sit together and talk honestly about everything and anything, the emptiness in her heart wasn't so vast when her father was asking about her life, about her many spouses, about what she loved and what she hated, about what was her comfort food and the people she had in her life.

  
Things with Amy had barely improved over the weeks. She refused eye contact for a while but eventually stopped, even though River saw that anger and sadness still mixed in her eyes. They had started tentatively talking to each other but it was like walking on eggshells from both counterparts and there conversations usually edged towards what had been on TV and how Jane had been doing.

  
Both of them had stopped talking about the Doctor and River just chose to ignore the times they would come home with completely different outfits, longer hair and suntans.

  
Rory had asked her to stay with them on Christmas Eve and there wasn't a chance in hell that River was going to miss spending their last Christmas together, no matter what arguments had been had. 

  
That was how she found herself waking up alone to a now uncharacteristically empty bed and her phone vibrating with a series of texts which she quickly replied too:

  
_Captain Harkness: Merry Christmas my sexy wife, if you haven't got a present for me don't worry, just wear that Mrs Clause outfit from last time ;) x_

  
_River: You wish lover boy. Merry Christmas to you too. And I have sorted your present, those Nestene duplicates with the swappable heads are ready and waiting for your orders x_

  
She swiped onto her next chat and smiled at the message in front of her:

  
_Nardole: Happy holidays Dr Song, hope you have a good one, don't go committing too many crimes without your handsome sidekick. :)_

_Ps, he is doing okay, he's still a grumpy arsehole and he has picked up another human pet._

  
_River: Happy holidays to you Nardole. Thank you for updating me, and they're not pets, they are his friends and sometimes family. Do you forget I'm not all alien?_

  
She then swiped onto the thread of messages that had bombarded her at midnight:

  
_Jane : MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! XD XD XD_

_Jane: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Jane: I think you're asleep it is 12 in the mornin but MERRY CHRISTMAS, I miss you and you are amazing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

  
_River: Merry Christmas dear, you better be asleep now getting some rest for tonight. You're going to need it ;) xxx_

  
A knock on her door pulled her from her phone.

  
"Come in."

  
She watched as her father's head popped through the door, a grin on his face as he spoke,

  
"I thought you'd want to come down. We thought we would open our presents together, like a proper fa-"

  
Rory shut up before he finished his sentence and smiled warmly at River. She got up - thankfully she had foregone her usual bedtime attire and had actually put on pyjamas - grabbed her dressing gown off the back of the door and followed her father into the hallway. 

  
He quickly enveloped her in his arms despite her weak attempt at protesting and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. 

  
"Merry Christmas, Melody."

  
"Merry Christmas, Dad."

  
River relished in his fatherly embrace before pulling away to make her way downstairs and into the living room. The Christmas tree stood in the corner of the room, a handful of presents underneath for each of them, whilst her mother sat on the sofa humming along to "Fairytale of New York".

  
As she came into view, she offered Amy a smile before she took a seat on the opposite side of the sofa.

  
"Merry Christmas, River."

  
"Merry Christmas, Amy."

  
The two sat in somewhat comfortable silence before Rory bounded into the room with three cups of coffee and a Santa hat on his head. He placed a kiss on Amy's lips as he passed her her drink and pressed another kiss to River's hair as he passed her hers.

  
He sipped his own coffee and then turned to the collection of gifts underneath the tree.

  
"Should we do presents then?"

  
They both nodded, Rory was given the duty of passing them around. Their presents were mainly ones they had bought for each other apart from the ones off her grandparents for her parents.

  
Rory and Amy had given her a new pair of red high heels and a stack of first edition books that they knew River collected - it had always gotten lonely on the nights the Doctor wouldn't visit in Stormacge so she chose to lose herself in worlds far better than the ones she had seen and the life she had lived.

  
She may have cheated with her own gifts - it wasn't her fault that Amy and Rory kept talking about the Christmas presents she had given them to a version of River that hadn't given them yet.

  
After the exchange of presents, the three of them had gone upstairs to get ready in preparation for the night. Graham had invited River around for Christmas dinner but River was reluctant to leave her parents alone when she knew it would be her last chance so had originally declined. It was only after she had told him that she didn't want to leave them alone that he gratefully invited them as well.

  
_"Graham has invited us all around to spend Christmas Day with them. Jane and the rest of her friends will be there and Ryan's invited his girlfriend too. What do you think?"_

  
_"I think that's a great idea, don't you Amy? You're always saying how much you hate cooking Christmas dinner."_

  
_"Sure, yeah. Whatever. We can just leave a note out for the Doctor if he decides to show up."_

  
\-------------

  
River knocked on the front door devoid of the ugly Christmas jumpers that Amy and Rory had decided to wear. They were a crime against humanity and River thought she ought to do something about it, but she had refrained - barely.

  
"River!"

  
Jane leapt through the now open front door and placed a kiss upon her lips. Her head adorned a pair of antlers that jingled as she moved with a blue paper crown precariously positioned around them.

  
"Hello, Darling."

  
"And Ponds!"

  
Jane greeted them both by pulling them into a hug and then took a step backwards to admire their outfits.

  
"I love your jumpers, they are brilliant!"

  
"Yours look great too, hey we both have reindeers!"

  
Jane smirked at River as Rory complimented her. The mechanic had taken insult when River had refused to wear one with her saying that they'd look silly. Then she had kissed her and that conversation was officially put to bed along with them.

  
"Oi Doc, don't be letting them freeze out their dinner is nearly ready!"

  
Graham's voice bellowed through the door causing Jane to usher them inside, her hand in River's as she led them through to the living room where Yaz and Ryan and his girlfriend were sat. Rory deferred from their route and joined Graham in the kitchen instead, leaving River, Jane and Amy alone.

  
"Can someone give us a hand here?"

  
Ryan quickly stood up to help his grandad and Rory. Amy, Yaz and Jane were lost in a conversation, about what River didn't have a clue but she turned to Ryan's new girlfriend to introduce herself.

  
"I'm River Song, I don't think we have had the pleasure of meeting?"

  
She offered her hand out to the girl, which she took and shook enthusiastically. 

  
"I'm Jess, I have heard so much about you from Jane!"

  
"All extremely bad I hope, I have a reputation to keep up."

  
River winked at Jane across the room, who had very obviously been listening in on their conversation. Jess just laughed as she drunk her drink, her auburn curls glowing under the Christmas lights that had been strung around the room.

  
"So how did you and Ryan meet?"

  
"Well, me and my nan volunteer up at the hospital sometimes but my car broke down. We were lucky that Ryan was driving into work, Nan was half ready to get under the hood herself. Ryan started the car back up and I slipped him my number, he took me on a date a few days later."

  
"Is your Nan called Alex by any chance?"

  
"That's the one, don't tell me she has a reputation for herself around here."

  
River just laughed. She had heard all about Alex and Jess from Rory on the nights they'd stay up and talk to each other. They both volunteered at the hospital, Alex always gave him a bag of his favourite sweets and would make Jess grab him a coffee just the way he liked it, even though he had never told her his order.

  
"No, no. Amy's husband, Rory, works at the hospital, he's a nurse. He's told me all about you two, all good things I promise."

  
The pair got into a conversation about Jess, how she lived with her Nan and Aunt after her Dad passed away and how she was in the midst of transferring to the university River worked at the finish the last year of her archaeology degree. 

  
"Come on guys, dinners ready!" 

  
Jane scrambled to the table first, taking a seat in the middle chair so River and Yaz could sit on each side of her. The rest of them followed behind with much more coordination. River, Jane and Yaz on sat on one side, Ryan, Jess and Amy on the other whilst Rory and Graham sat on the ends of the table.

  
"Look River!"

  
Jane happily held up a matching blue hat like her own with a grin on her face, the excitement clear on her features. River raised an eyebrow at the hat as she wafted it around. 

  
"Please..."

  
A pout arose on Jane's face. 

  
She wasn't going to give in.

  
Still pouting.

  
She wasn't going to give in.

  
Still pouting.

  
She was definitely going to give in.

  
River snatched the hat from her hands and placed it upon her head the best she could on her wild curls.

  
"You look amazing by the way."

  
Jane whispered against her lips before she kissed them, her hand sneaking round to grip River's hair.

  
"Some of us are trying to eat here."

  
Rory and Graham both simultaneously called from either side of the table. Jane just stook her tongue out at Graham whilst the archaeologist just chuckled at her father. 

  
The group tucked into their meal, a pleasant silence falling over them. River took a moment to look in awe as Jane shovelled food into her mouth.

  
"You honestly eat like a child."

  
"No, I don't." 

  
Jane's voice was muffled by the sheer amount of food in her mouth, River rolled her eyes before she resumed her own meal.

  
\-------------

  
After dinner, they had all sat down to play a few board games, they had all settled on Monopoly. To Jane's dismay, River and Graham teamed up halfway through the game and completely wiped everyone out with Jane being the first to go bankrupt even with Yaz practically helping her cheat.

  
Jane had disappeared into the kitchen to get another drink for herself and when she had returned to the living room, she immediately noticed that Ryan and his girlfriend were missing from the group. She retook her seat, one of the wooden dining chairs she had pulled around to sit next to River.

  
"I think we should play Twister! It will be really fun, promise, I will go and get Ryan and Jess if you want."

  
Jane got up to go and find them but was held back by River's hand around her wrist, who quickly guided her back to her chair.

  
"Dear, I think they're busy playing their own game of adult twister."

  
"What do you mean, adult twist-"

  
River promptly looked Jane up and down and then herself, trying every way she could to indicate what she meant without saying it - she knew just how Jane blushed.

  
"Wait, you don't mean?"

  
"Yes, Darling."

  
"Ew, ew, ew. They could at least hang up a balloon or something. Ew."

  
Everyone laughed at Jane, who had consequently turned bright red, whilst she tried to hide her face in River's hair. The taller blonde placed a hand upon her knee reassuringly as she shook her head with laughter.

  
"Sometimes, I wonder why I'm even attracted to you."

  
Her previous embarrassment apparently gone, Jane confidently removed her head from its blonde camouflage and leaned back on her chair to face River.

  
"You know why, Doctor Song." 

  
Everybody watched as she continued to confidently lean backwards on the back two chair legs, precariously balanced in the air. 

  
They heard the crash first. Jane's legs stood up in the air as her upper body crashed to the floor along with the chair, which just seemed to crumble under her weight. The blonde moved to sit upwards as she rubbed the back of her head, her antlers bent and her paper crown slightly ripped.

  
"Forgot I had moved it."

  
"Guessed that one, Dear. Let me check your head."

  
River examined back of her head and was happy to find it devoid of any blood or visible bruising. She placed a kiss upon her forehead before helping her up.

  
"Sorry 'bout the chair, Graham."

  
He sat on the sofa with his arms crossed, River could tell he was trying his hardest to keep his laughter in whilst he berated her.

  
"From now on, you're sitting on the floor. I can't trust you around my chairs!"

  
"Grahammm..."

  
"Not gonna work Doc."

  
"I better get her home before she breaks anymore of your furniture."

  
\-------------

  
The Ponds and Jane hugged everyone goodbye, and bid them farewell as they all piled into Rory's car. Of course, River was driving as they moved speedily through the empty streets.

  
River dropped her parents back home, promising to bring the car back tomorrow and then they sped back to Jane's apartment. 

  
"So I know we said no presents but..."

  
Jane spoke as the two of them wandered into the flat, throwing their coats on the sofa as they took a seat on the bed.

  
"I got you something too, but you can go first if you wish."

  
"Close your eyes!"

  
River placed her hands over her eyes in anticipation. She listened as she heard Jane scramble around then felt the dip in the bed as she sat back across from her.

  
"Hold out your hands." 

  
"This blindfolding stuff could actually be quite fun for us, I like the sound of your voice. It's sexy."

  
"River, hands."

  
"Yes, Dear."

  
She held out her hands obediently and felt a small box be placed in them. River slowly opened her eyes and removed the lid of the white box to find a golden chain with a cobalt gemstone hanging from it.

  
"I made it, turns out I'm good at forging stuff. You're being quiet, do you hate it? It's okay if you hate it I won't be offended. Really we can always-"

  
"It's beautiful Jane."

  
River kissed her then moved to stand in front of the mirror. 

  
"Put it on for me?"

  
She swept her hair around her shoulder the best she could, giving Jane access to her neck. The mechanic placed the necklace around her neck, pressing a kiss against the back of her neck as she closed the clasp. 

  
"Do you want your present?"

  
"Definitely."

  
"Get my zip for me?"

  
Jane tugged the zip downwards she pressed a series of kisses against River's spine as she descended along with the zip on its journey. She followed the trail of kisses back upwards to take in the view in the mirror.

  
"Merry Christmas, my love."

  
River's body was framed with a red lingerie set, all her curves accentuated perfectly. Jane's heart rate rose as she moved her hands around to place them on River's now bare abdomen, pulling her backwards so that there was no distance between their bodies. 

  
She then manoeuvred herself in front of the taller blonde and pushed her backwards until the back of River's legs hit the bed causing her to fall back. Her golden curls fanned outwards across the bed, Jane took the moment to admire the view before she moved forward. Jane's hands framed her jaw as she hovered above River's barely covered body. 

  
"Merry Christmas indeed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i did write a christmas chapter that was just under 3000 words in the middle of September and no I don't regret a thing :)
> 
> we got to 175 kudos!!!! you are all amazing, thank you so so much <3 
> 
> kudos & comments are always very much appreciated !! <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	16. you are flesh and blood and you deserve to be loved

_"Oi, you. Get in here, now. My daughter. What do you think?"_

  
_The Ponds stood before her - well him._

  
_It was another one where she looked down at her body and saw a tweed jacket and a maroon bowtie draped over a man's body that wasn't her own. She had been shocked to find a man in River's living room all those months ago with that same outfit but with a strangers face - the Doctor, they'd said._

  
_"Hello. Hello, baby."_

  
_"Melody."_

  
_She smiled at the baby that was held in Rory's arms. A look in the nurse's eye that she had only seen used whenever he saw River._

  
_"Melody? Hello, Melody Pond."_

  
Her eyes reluctantly opened. Jane happily looked down at the protective arm that encased her waist, River's very naked body flush against her. She slowly attempted to turn under her locked embrace to face her, she knew she didn't have long until she awoke - it was like River had been trained to sense her every movement.

  
"Hmm... where do you think you're going?"

  
"Nowhere, Professor Song."

  
Jane leant forward to press a firm kiss to her lips. River's hand pushed against her spine bringing their bare bodies impossibly closer. The pair languidly bathed in the morning sun that illuminated their bodies.

  
"Happy birthday, River."

  
She whispered against her lips before kissing her once again. Jane grasped her free hand and pulled River on top of her, their lips still joined as golden curls scattered across her face.

  
"Thank you... how... did you... know it was... today?"

  
Between heartfelt kisses, River hesitantly questioned. 

  
"I'm really good at remembering things."

  
Jane briefly pulled away to answer her then resumed kissing her, her hands tracing the bumps of her spine. River lowered her head to pepper kisses against the column of her neck whilst her hand snaked between their bodies and caressed her hip bone.

  
"As much as I would like that very much, I have a plan for us today and it's 100% my most brilliant plan yet - as long as we stay on time."

  
"I thought you weren't supposed to deny the birthday girl of her desires?"

  
River scratched her nails lightly against her skin, that mischievous look freely roaming in her eyes.

  
"You're lucky I lov- _like_ , like you River Song."

  
"Is that a yes?"

  
Jane wrapped her fingers around River's wrist and placed it between her legs, the Professor's grin widened.

  
"I will take that a yes, Darling."

  
\-------------

  
River tightened her hold on her leather jacket as she entered her parent's house. The winter months were slowly dissipating but it was England in the 21st century, it being spring meant nothing for the temperature - times like this, she wished she was soaking up the sun on Aruba 15 with a cocktail getting a tan.

  
She quietly shut the front door, hoping to not alert Amy and Rory off her presence. They must've been the one to tell Jane about her birthday and they were probably going to make a fuss. 

  
River _definitely_ didn't want that.

  
She had only had to come back to change her clothes after she had somehow run out of outfits at Jane's. River ran upstairs and pulled on her favourite pair of tight pants and low cut top before placing her leather jacket and boots back on.

  
Cautiously, she made her way back downstairs and into the living room where she was _completely surprised_ to find Amy and Rory sat.

  
"You look great, doesn't she Amy?" 

  
Rory nudged his wife as he complimented his daughter.

  
"You really do look great, what's the occasion?"

  
That was the moment River's hearts shattered into pieces. 

  
She should have known really. 

  
River had had enough experience loving people who'd never loved her back, she just didn't think that came to her parents as well. 

  
After the months she had spent with them she had thought their relationship had gotten better - even if she and her mother currently weren't speaking to each other. 

  
Rory had changed, hadn't he? He wanted her to call him Dad and he told her he loved her. 

  
But neither of them loved her enough to remember their own daughter's birthday.

  
"Oh, Jane's taking me into town for the day. I best get going she's waiting outside."

  
River spoke quickly to hide the heartbroken crack in her voice before darting out of the room. She wiped her tears as she pulled out her phone to call Jane, in hopes she could get to the house quickly.

  
\-------------

  
The pair spent their day in the city centre, hand in hand as Jane dragged her on her mystery tour. 

  
She took her for lunch first and Jane didn't even order off the children's menu - although she did eat a massive amount of cake for dessert. River was then pulled into an arcade and beat Jane at every single shooting game and even the motorcycle ones. For the record, the mechanic did proclaim that she let her win because it was her birthday.

  
Without the ignorance of her parents, she had already been dreading today as it was the first time in 24 years she would be spending it without the Doctor at her side. Jane had successfully taken her mind away from all of it, uncaring parents and star-crossed love, and had made her genuinely enjoy the day.

  
But now as they returned back into through the country roads of Leadworth and stopped outside Amy and Rory's house, the bile in her throat and tears in her eyes reappeared.

  
"Why don't we just go straight to yours, Dear?"

  
River tugged Jane's coat to gain her attention, the mechanic had insisted on driving giving River no choice but to plead, to leave the sadness that awaited her inside.

  
"Amy and Rory will want to see you, I've already stolen you enough today."

  
"They don't even know it's my birthday." 

  
She watched as Jane stood up, removing her helmet and then offering her hand.

  
"Well, go and tell them."

  
"I don't think so."

  
"Why not, River? I've never seen you back down and not say something so why are you starting now?"

  
"Because they obviously don't even want to know that it's my birthday, they don't care enough Jane!"

  
"It's your birthday River, don't let them ruin that. Plus I will stay with you tonight if you want?" 

  
River huffed as she placed her hands in Jane's. 

  
"Fine but I'm not telling them, you can mention it if you wish."

  
The lights weren't on so she delved into her pockets to get her keys however sighed as she couldn't find them. River knocked against the door but was surprised when it creaked open.

  
"Rory?" 

  
Nothing.

  
"Amy?"

  
Nothing. 

  
Panic set in as she swung the door open. She berated herself as she grasped at her empty thigh holster, it wasn't like she needed the gun she'd been trained to kill before she was taught to speak but it was easier - and cleaner.

  
"Wait here."

  
River cautioned Jane as she entered the silent room. The heels of her boots clicking against the floorboards were the only sound in the house as a flicker of light coming from the back garden caught her eye. 

  
She slowly edged forward and opened the back door where the light shone.

  
"Amy, Ro-?"

  
"SUPRISE!!!"

  
Amy, Rory, Jack and Jane's supposed 'Fam' jumped into view chanting surprise. Still in shock, she spun around to find Jane with a grin on her face as she tugged the party hat she had placed on her head.

  
"That was amazing guys!"

  
"Doctor Song, you didn't think I would miss your birthday, did you?"

  
Jack bounded forward and lifted a grinning River up into the air, spinning them as they laughed. He promptly put her down as he found Jane and Rory's eyes glaring at him.

  
Her feet were only placed back on the ground when she was swept up into another embrace, this time by long arms and a flash of ginger hair. 

  
"Did you really think I would forget my own daughter's birthday?"

  
Amy whispered against her ear, River found herself in an even greater state of shock as her mother clung to her frame whispering in her ear,

  
"I know what's going on in that head of yours, I know we haven't been the best lately, well for a while, but Melody you are my daughter and nothing will ever change that."

  
"Mum, I-"

  
"Before you say anything, just read your birthday card. I explain it much better in there and we don't want a certain blonde catching on."

  
With tears in her eyes, she pulled away from their hug and clutched the card that Amy placed in her hand.

  
"Thank you, for all of this."

  
River gestured flippantly to the decorated garden around her and the people that occupied it.

  
"Don't thank me, thank your Dad and that girlfriend of yours. Jane came running in with all these plans before it had even been mentioned, she wanted to make sure you had a good day," River looked over to see Jane and Rory high-fiving as her father placed a similar party hat on his own head, "She even got Jack here, I can't believe you didn't tell me you had such handsome friends."

  
"Oh Mother, don't let Dad hear you say that."

  
"I think he agrees, I'm going to go and check on everyone whilst you look at that card young lady."

  
Amy placed a kiss against her cheek before leaving River to shakily open her card.

  
_Dear Melody,_

_The past few months have been hard for both of us I think._

_I know I'm far from perfect and I've asked you enough to understand about the way I choose to cope and I know you do. I know you do because you are just like your Dad, you have so much love to give._

_I will always be angry about what was stolen from both of us but I also don't want that to ruin the future. We've got years to come and I know it will be hard, with your blessing of not ageing like your old human mum, but we can spend it together._

_I also hope you know I love you, my sweet Melody, and the moments where I have acted like I didn't, well I hope you can forgive me._

  
_My love forever,_   
_Mum x_

  
Tears spilt onto the page as she finished reading. She spun round to meet her mother's eyes across the room and hoped that her smile conveyed every emotion of love and acceptance that she could muster.

  
\-------------

  
"Silver fox and Co. What are you guys doing here?"

  
Jack wandered up to the group who hovered at the edge of the garden. 

  
"We could ask you the same thing."

  
Yaz spoke as she crossed her arms, Graham and Ryan stood behind her looking just as sternly.

  
"Me? I'm here to celebrate my best friend's birthday but you guys, did the Doctor finally leave you behind?"

  
"No, course not. You know what happened, you were the one who broke her out of that prison with the big rhino dudes."

  
Ryan whispered, cautiously aware of Jane who stood talking to River not so far from them.

  
"Woah, Woah. The last time I saw your beautiful faces were on the stolen ship a few months ago. Now where's the Doctor, I've still not seen her and she's always been a looker."

  
"Jack, you know what happened with the chameleon thing. She's the one that planned this party!"

  
Graham pointed to Jane across the room, completely unaware of his words being far too early in Jack's timeline. The Captain stood in awe as he realised, a sense of anger and annoyance quickly washing over him.

  
"I fucking knew it, I told River at that gala but did she believe me, no."

  
"Look, River can't find out who she is. She needs to stay hidden." 

  
Yaz asserted to the Captain whilst Jack just scoffed. 

  
"I'm not going to lie to River, she would be the one to protect the Doctor better than anyone."

  
"Who is she? To the Doctor?"

  
"That's not my story to tell I'm afraid."

  
Remembrance of chats about the Doctor with River clung to him, from the days they first met to now, so much of it had been about her madman.

  
"You know though Jack. We are trying to keep her safe."

  
"Oh, I definitely know a lot more than most people but I'm not going to tell you."

  
Jack defiantly crossed his arms, their angered whispers drowned out by whatever music Amy and River had chosen.

  
"Why not? We are her friends!"

  
"You say this but do you really know anything about her? I once thought I was her friend too but the thing about the Doctor is, you do one thing that you can't control and she gives up on you. You die or you don't. You lose something or become someone else because of what you've seen. The Doctor doesn't do damage in any forms."

  
"That's not the Doctor, you don't know her like we do?"

  
Yaz stepped forward, blindly defending the Doctor, while Jack shook his head.

  
"Do you think that your the first humans she's took with her to see the universe? So many came before you and so many will come after, we are just bookmarks in the history of the Doctor and we just fade away like echoes."

  
Graham and Ryan grabbed Yaz's arms as she went to take another step forward into Jack's face.

  
"As much as I would love to continue this conversation and remember it, you've told me far too much about my future as well as the Doctor's. I'm gonna have to Retcon myself now, thanks, guys."

  
"Ret what?"

  
"Amnesia pill in simpler terms just leaves you with a lovely little hangover so I won't remember any of this."

  
"So you're not going to tell River?"

  
"I'm taking that choice out of my own hands, I'm not choosing between River and the Doctor and I pity those who do."

  
Jack began to walk away, calling to River to drown out the trios attempt to regain his attention.

  
"So are you opening these presents or am I taking them home with me, Doctor Song?"

  
\-------------

  
River sat on a wooden deck chair, a half-empty glass of red wine in her hand as she watched the people around her.

  
Yaz sat alone on the other side of the room, the policewoman had made no effort to form any kind of friendship with her - River could only presume it was about some of Yaz's own unresolved feelings for Jane, she couldn't see any other reason why she'd despise her the way she did.

  
Ryan had obviously sneaked away to ring Jess, leaving Graham sat referring the game of slightly drunken football that was taking place. 

  
Rory and Amy versus Jane and Jack.

  
River had of course been invited to play but she wasn't much for non-contact sport and wanted to take a moment to remember. 

  
With a lifespan as long as her own, she found herself forgetting. Not the big stuff, not the regenerations or her wedding, but sometimes the stolen moments of peace she had rarely found with her parents and the Doctor. But this, the laughter and love that filled the air, she wanted to commit that to memory for forever.

  
She looked down at the pile of presents she had accumulated. A certain purple silicone shaft shape from Jack was hidden under the pair of new high heels and photo album that her parents had given her. A photo frame with a snapshot of River and Jane from Christmas sat there as well, a collective gift from Graham, Ryan and Yaz.

  
"You know, I'm sure my legs used to be longer."

  
Pulling her from her thoughts, a visibly out of breath Jane was standing in front of her.

  
"Being a sore loser, Dear?"

  
"No, course not. Amy is just a cheat, how am I supposed to compete with all that leg?"

  
River laughed at the blonde, who stood there with her nose scrunched.

  
"You can have you're presents now!"

  
The unstoppable mechanic quickly ran inside to only return a second later, dropping to her knees in front of River, a small box in one hand and a larger one in the other. She offered her the smaller of the two first a sheepish grin on her face.

  
"It looks like you're proposing."

  
Jane looked her own body up and down, a panic set into her eyes.

  
"Do you want me to? Aren't you still married?"

  
"Yes."

  
"Was that a yes to wanting me too or you being married?"

  
"Yes."

  
River teased as she pushed open the box to find a silver key placed inside. Jane took the opportunity to lead their conversation away from River's insinuations, 

  
"You spend a lot of time there and I want you to feel at home, River. After everything you've told me, a proper home is what you deserve."

  
"Thank you, Jane."

  
River happily flew forward placing a kiss on her lips, careful to not knock the other present she still held in her arms. She took the delicately wrapped box from her, which had definitely not been wrapped by Jane, and ripped the blue paper to find a black box. She pulled the lid off to find a contraption that had Jane metaphorically written all over it.

  
"It's the stars, from the river. I thought no matter what happens, you will have a piece of our universe with you. It projects onto the ceiling, it is the ones from the first night we lay there together. I built it myself, It's got spoons in it!"

  
"You are brilliant!"

  
River resumed kissing the blonde, Jane enthusiastically embraced her whilst they blocked out the voices around them.

  
"Why don't we go test it out?"

  
"Sounds like a great idea, Dear."

  
River left Jane to go and find her mother and father who were sat down now, nursing their own glasses of wine.

  
"Jane and I were thinking of going if that's okay. We can stay if you want and help tidy up, we are really in no rush. I don't even have to go we always have-"

  
"Melody, go be with your girlfriend, your old parents will still be here in the morning and the next one after that."

  
River hugged them both before grabbing her presents and Jane, bidding farewell to Jack and the others and leaving with only one thought on her mind.

  
There would be a morning coming soon that her mother and father wouldn't be there anymore, where they'd be trapped so far in an unreachable past that River would lose them.

  
_Forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're getting closer to the exposure of jane's identity but of course, i had to write even more fluff first :)
> 
> sorry, this took a bit longer than usual, it was a mix of writer's block and exhaustion from all my coursework <3
> 
> kudos & comments are always very much appreciated !! <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	17. this dream isn't feeling sweet, we're reeling through the midnight streets

  
It was going to take forever and a day to get this out of her hair. 

  
River knew she should have just let someone else take the rogue Raxacoricofallapatorian but her and Jack had decided to make a bet on who would capture the most aliens. She would be damned if she was going to let him beat her. 

  
However, with the subsequent murder out of self-defence of the acidic fearing alien with a bottle of vinegar, River was now down by two points - if only there was an alien she could find nearby.

  
The feeling of a hand pressed against her shoulder ultimately surprised her as she spun around pinning the owner of the hand to the wall by their neck. 

  
"Hey, Hey!" 

  
River's semi-clouded vision quickly cleared as she took in the squirming form of her girlfriend.

  
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

  
She released her grip allowing Jane to breathe, the smaller blonde resting her head against the wall gasping for air.

  
"It's- it's fine. You think I would've learned after last time."

  
Last time had involved River nearly being charged with murder - again. But who really sneaks up on someone and shouts boo at them as they have a knife in their hand?

  
Her hands skimmed over Jane's collarbone as she supported her against the wall. River had chosen to ignore the small gap between their lips, the mechanic definitely had not as she pushed her now recovered body off the shower wall and propelled both of them under the cascading water, fiercely joining their lips in the process.

  
"Why don't you... let me... make it up to you?"

  
River muttered between heated kisses.

  
"It's like you read my mind."

  
\-------------

  
Jane ran her fingers through her drying hair whilst she waited for River to get out of the shower - she had learnt over the past months that is took a lot of time to condition and dry all that space hair.

  
She lay down on her side of the bed, the fact she had a side of the bed still warming her heart. There was something so magnetic between her and River that had kept her instantly hooked since the first day they had laid eyes on each other - it was something instantaneous like she had met her before and knew her, really knew her.

  
Tiredly, Jane placed her head upon her pillow and allowed her exhaustion from a long few days at the garage to pull her under whilst she waited for River. 

  
_"Oh, no, no, no, no. Come on, what are you doing? That's my job."_

  
_Her eyes locked on to River, who sat in a chair a contraption stuck to her head, with a calm panic in her eyes._

  
_"Oh, and I'm not allowed to have a career, I suppose?"_

  
_"Why am I handcuffed? Why do you even have handcuffs?"_

  
_She knew all about River and her handcuffs..._

  
_"Spoilers."_

  
_"This is not a joke. Stop this now. This is going to kill you! I'd have a chance, you don't have any."_

  
_The rapid beating of her own heart within her, well his, chest echoed throughout their entire head._

  
_"You wouldn't have a chance, and neither do I. I'm timing it for the end of the countdown. There'll be a blip in the command flow. That way it should improve our chances of a clean download."_

  
_"River, please. No."_

  
_A desperate tug of the trapped hand was useless against the handcuffs._

  
_"Funny thing is, this means you've always known how I was going to die. All the time we've been together, you knew I was coming here. The last time I saw you, the real you, the future you, I mean, you turned up on my doorstep, with a new haircut and a suit. You took me to Darillium to see the Singing Towers. What a night that was. The Towers sang, and you cried."_  


_The stinging of her cheek was met with the stinging of her eyes._

  
_"Autodestruct in one minute."_

  
_"You wouldn't tell me why, but I suppose you knew it was time. My time. Time to come to the library. You even gave me your screwdriver. That should have been a clue."_  
  


_Both of their eyes jumped to a battered blue diary that she was sure she had seen River with before and two objects placed on top - these supposed screwdrivers._

  
_"There's nothing you can do."_

  
_"You can let me do this."_

  
_"If you die here, it'll mean I've never met you."_

  
_"Time can be rewritten."_

  
_"Not those times..."_

  
"Jane!"

  
A new voice cut through River's words.

  
_"Not one line..."_

  
"Jane!"

  
_"Don't you dare."_

  
She sharply gasped for air, her body crashing forward into River's waiting arms. Her hands flew upwards burying themselves in space hair along with her face to hide from the world, from herself.

  
"Hey, hey, you're okay."

  
Jane burrowed further into the safety of her embrace. The dreams that plagued her were always tainted with sadness. It went from dreams of Amy and Rory stood upon a ledge and jumping to the tears of a robot that she knew, _she just knew_ she cared for.

  
"Was it a nightmare again?"

  
She nervously nodded her head.

  
It hadn't taken long for River to catch on to the reason why she despised sleep. The blonde had comforted her every time, never asking questions, which was good considering she didn't really know how to explain why she had dreamt about River in a spacesuit shooting her dead as well as the other myriad of irregular disturbing images.

  
"Why don't we stay in for the night? I'm sure Amy and Rory wouldn't mind us joining them."

  
"No, no."

  
She defiantly regrouped herself. Jane knew she couldn't let this stop her life even if these illusions had begun poisoning her reality. When she looked at Amy, she saw a stone angel lurking behind while one look at Yaz - or any of her fam - saw the appearance of rhino men in bulky metal frames.

  
With fake confidence, she removed herself from River's arms ignoring the hesitant look in her eyes in favour of running across the room to her coat. She rummaged around her cluttered pockets for a few seconds, she was sure they used to be bigger, before lifting out a crumpled piece of paper.

  
"I think it'll be amazing!'

  
Jane thrust the paper forward towards River, who took it with minimal apprehension.

  
"I didn't think they still printed flyers to funfairs?"

  
\-------------

  
River could barely recall the last time she had set foot in a funfair.

  
Actually, Mels had been kicked out twice - once for underage drinking and the other being for stealing a stuffed toy for Rory to say he had won to give to Amy in the name of young love- but luckily new face, no case.

  
Jane ran through the stalls with renewed excitement, completely ignoring her panic from earlier. River had noticed right away her anxieties but she knew all she could do was comfort her. In some ways her reaction to her terrors was similar to the Doctor - he would always react the same way and bury his face in her hair to hide his tears.

  
The mechanic had used her adorable scrunched nose plus her pout to get River to agree to be dragged stall to stall in search of the ultimate prize. After Jane had lost the first two due to her complete lack of upper arm strength, River had taken to using her sonic discreetly to help her win.

  
What River failed to realise was the consequence of her actions as she wandered through the fair, hand in hand with Jane, with a collection of teddies and cheap toys under her arm. 

  
"River..."

  
"I know what you are going to say and no."

  
"But River..."

  
Jane's hopeful eyes glistened under the lights of the ferris wheel. God, she thought, for a human her beauty, along with her mind, was just exceptional and irrefutable.

  
River cursed herself under her breath, even as she reluctantly pulled Jane forward by their joined hands. She was definitely 'whipped' as Jack would so plainly put it but she would deny that wholly.

  
The pair handed over their tickets before taking their seats, the mechanic immediately began to swing her legs backwards and forwards, moving the seat with her. River definitely didn't grip that hard onto the metal bar that her knuckles turned white.

  
"I think this thing is older than I am!"

  
She shouted over the creaking of the Ferris wheel as they were elevated higher and higher, the wind messing up her hair. River turned her head to try and hear Jane's response but noticed the blonde's movements had stilled and she had that distracted look in her eye like usual. Slowly, she placed her hand upon her shoulder but unfortunately caused her to jump in surprise and unwillingly shout,

  
"Tim Shaw!"

  
"Tim Shaw?"

  
Confused, River searched her girlfriend's eyes for clarification but only saw hurt desperation within them.

  
"Jane, what's up?"

  
"Nothing, nothing."

  
"It's not nothing."

  
She lowered her hand over Jane's and grasped it reassuringly between her fingers. The blonde avoided eye contact in favour of peering at the light below.

  
"Fine but you are probably going to think I have gone crazy!"

  
"Dear, everyone is a little crazy! You never know who is a psychopath and who isn't!"

  
"Yeah but this isn't like that. I just- I just get these moments in my dreams and sometimes when I am awake where I get these visions and they are like memories but they aren't! My face changes and most of the time I'm these different men and it's always sad. And it's totally impossible because I see everyone die, even people I don't know and I feel it River - every single time."

  
Tears dropped against Jane's cheeks as River comfortingly placed her arm around her shoulders pulling her in. If she had to guess and be right, which she usually was, every symptom of her distress sounded like a very fancy, complicated neural block.

  
The first night she had spent at Jane's all those months ago, she had scanned her and there was nothing abnormal but something like that would never show up. Right now, Jane might well have been a stranger in her own body - maybe she had been a dangerous shapeshifter, that would only spice up their bedroom activities. 

  
Or maybe she was a Time Lord, River couldn't help but release a slight chuckle at that. It couldn't have been her husband, she knew all his faces and they were destined to never meet again. It couldn't have been the Master either- she had heard on the time-travelling grapevine that apparently Missy had been sentenced to eternal imprisonment with the Doctor standing guard.

  
River was only sure about one thing, she needed to find out the truth of Jane Smith for Jane's sake as well as her own.

  
Yes, the blonde could truly be struggling with her mental state but when had anything ever been that simple in River's life? It would explain a lot really, from her lack of legal existence before Leadworth and the secretive nature of her friends. 

  
This was her last chance of normality, soon she would have to go and find the answer that she dreaded finding, so for now she allowed Jane to mould herself to her side and let herself have one final guiltless breath.

  
"It will be okay, Jane."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we are back after a tiny hiatus!!!!
> 
> this was kind of filler but river finally knows something is up!!
> 
> thanks for all the comments and kudos, we hit 200!!!!!!! <3 <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	18. hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night

"MUM?"

  
River shouted up the stairs of the apartment, her arms full with boxes of clothes. She had finally taken Jane's offer for her to move in but she had done so reluctantly. 

  
She had waited nervously for the day Amy and Rory would start mentioning New York. It meant their time together was finally running out - no more Pond family dinners and a final eternity without them. 

  
River was never one for rules so the temptation to change their fates was just too strong, so she had warily decided to leave.

  
Maybe it wouldn't be so hard if she distanced herself.

  
At first, she thought about leaving Leadworth all together. River thought of going back to the 51st century for the first time in nearly 25 years and drowning her sorrows with far better alcohol but then she thought about Jane. 

  
She knew the longer she stayed with her, the closer it got to the beginning of the questions about her lack of ageing, where she disappeared too and why she could never ever go to a hospital. As well as with Amy and Rory so close to their end, her cover story would eventually be blown. 

  
For some reason, none of that meant she was going to go. She had discovered the mystery of Jane Smith and she was damn well going to solve it.

  
"MOTHER?"

  
She shouted once again before the ginger Scot wandered into view, that stupid pair of reading glasses, the symbol of her impending doom, perched on the bridge of her nose.

  
"Melody, why didn't you tell me my daughter was so smart!" 

  
River looked at the stack of her published papers that her Mother clutched in her hands as she gleamed before smiling herself.

  
"Well, I do happen to be a 225-year-old archaeologist from the future. It's quite an easy subject to master. Now as much as I love you finally realising what a genius you created, can you please help me with these boxes?"

  
"Stop making me feel old! I am not old enough to have a 225-year-old daughter, young lady."

  
Amy hopped down the steps, taking most of the boxes out of her hands, and then the mother and daughter ascended the stairs. Her father sat trying to assemble a shoe rack for all of River's high heels - her 30 plus pairs of shoes were much greater than Jane's one pair of combat boots.

  
They placed the boxes down, both of them taking a seat on the sofa whilst River discreetly searched the room with her eyes. She had originally planned to use the time alone moving in to try and find anything abnormal in Jane's apartment but her parents had insisted on helping her move. 

  
Both of them had thought the two of them were to blame for her moving out - in reality, that was true but the reason had already happened 30 years earlier for River in a graveyard on the outskirts of Manhattan.

  
Suddenly, a familiar crackling sound pulled all three time traveller's attention to the middle of the room.

  
"Don't tell me you started without me!"

  
Jack appeared in the middle of the room, his infamous smirk painted across his face.

  
"Mr Pond, you are looking as beautiful as ever and so are you, Mrs Pond." 

  
He enthusiastically bounced across the room, kissing both of their cheeks before getting to the archaeologist.

  
"Look at you, the mighty River Song. Domesticated with a human."

  
"Oh shut up."

  
River was excitedly swept up in Jack's arms whilst he kissed her cheeks. She would've also missed him if she had left, for the first time ever, she saw a continuous version of him, of her oldest friend. 

  
He had been a constant in her life for years, always dropping in to just see her. She had held him after Ianto and Steven, whilst he cried and wished for the merciful end. River had also helped Jack through his pregnancy and had been the one to deliver his baby, which was just all levels of traumatising even in her book. With the way in which their lives were, it was rare to find someone who truly understood but they had still found one another. 

  
Jack would always be her best friend, even if she had already been to his funeral.

  
"Do you think you too could go grab something to eat?"

  
"Of course!" "But, I just-" "Come on Rory!"

  
Amy dragged her husband out of the apartment, leaving the two of them alone. Her mother smiled knowingly, she had told her earlier that she needed a chat with Jack - for some reason her mother's mind had immediately gone to sex which wasn't going to happen (this time anyway).

  
"You know if you were trying to get me alone you could have just asked?"

  
"Stop messing, this is important. Did you bring it?"

  
She smacked his leg and sat on the sofa, the Captain huffing before taking the seat next to her. He reached into his coat pocket to pull out a small, sealed plastic bag with a purple substance shovelled inside.

  
"This bad boy will reverse anything that's even slightly abnormal in the brain and any traces of manipulation that would've had to happen to make her forget will be undone. Its side effects include death."

  
Jack deadpanned as River took the offered powder. She had asked him about it the day after she had returned from the funfair, she knew a future version of him had some as they had used it to interrogate a serial killer who had been allowed the pleasure of forgetting his victims.

  
"I can use it correctly, Captain. Don't you worry. It's not like we haven't used it before."

  
"He died the last time we used it!"

  
"We did that on purpose!"

  
"Are you sure about this?"

  
River could see the hesitance in his eyes as he looked at the powder. She knew she was taking a risk by doing it but she had to know, Jane had to know - it was tearing her girlfriend apart.

  
And maybe somewhere in her psychopathic heart, she had started to love her bumbling mechanic.

  
"Jack, trust me. I have something to lose and I am not losing her. Plus, you were distributing it last time so we were at a disadvantage."

  
Faking offence, Jack gasped his hand flying to his chest,

  
"Why was that a disadvantage?!"

  
"Because you are a man! It's just weird when you think and you never get anything done properly!"

  
He laughed as he placed his arms around her shoulders, bringing her against him whilst he rested his head on her hair.

  
"What would I do without you and your man-hating ways?"

  
"You'd probably be extremely bored."

  
\-------------

  
They had sat for a while talking but then decided to finish up her unpacking. River had sonicked together the shoe rack her father had been trying to build whilst Jack put her clothes away - for a man with one signature outfit, his sense of fashion was actually quite remarkable. 

  
It had only been about an hour when the beeping of Jack's vortex manipulator took them both by surprise. 

  
"Looks like a few Weevils have jumped through the Rift."

  
"Let me go and grab my coat and gu-"

  
"No, no. You are staying here, enjoy the night with your lady love and snooping around your new flat. I will go and sort this."

  
Jack snapped up his coat from where it had been draped across the sofa. He then stood in front of her grinning, placing his hands on her shoulders as she spoke,

  
"It's not snooping, it's just safety checking!"

  
"Whatever you want to believe, Doctor Song. Now, do I get a kiss with the other, other half not around?" 

  
His eyes widened slowly as he pouted - she fully regretted accidentally telling him all about Jane's pout.

  
"Oh come here."

  
River gently placed her lips upon his and only pulled back when she felt him try and deepen the kiss.

  
"You always leave me wanting more, Doctor Song." 

  
"That's the way you like it, Captain."

  
They stepped away from another. Jack's hand rose to a salute whilst he winked, the coordinates already set on his vortex manipulator. She blew him a kiss as he zapped away leaving no trace of his presence. 

  
As she went to sit back down, the sound of the front door opening caught her attention.

  
"RIVER? WE'RE BACK AND WE FOUND YOUR MISSING GIRLFRIEND!"

  
Amy called up the stairs as she piled in along with Rory and Jane, a bag of heavenly smelling Chinese in their hands. As they reached the top, her parents dispersed to set the food out whilst Jane stood sheepishly in front of her.

  
"And what kind of time do you call this?"

  
“I was gonna come and help, I promise. I was just a bit later than I expected!”

  
“4 hours late?”

  
“There was a big lorry, River!"

  
She raised her eyebrow at the blonde's excuse.

  
"A big yellow lorry!”

  
River huffed amusedly at her before pulling her in for a quick kiss. She took the opportunity to quietly whisper into Jane's ear, her one lone fingertip trailing along her collarbone, 

  
"Come on now Honey, the quicker we get rid of Amy and Rory, the sooner we can properly celebrate."

  
She felt the mechanic shiver under her touch. 

  
"Ponds! What did you get for dinner?"

  
Jane shouted around her then took River's hand to lead her to the now full coffee table, her parents sat on the floor opposite it. The smaller blonde took her seat in the corner allowing River to pillow against her while they both tucked in.

  
River smiled joyfully at her family that surrounded her. 

  
She had never felt so human.

  
Even as she couldn't help but get the feeling that it was about to all unravel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and sadly that is it for jack & the ponds... 
> 
> i knew i couldn't finish this without some sort of goodbye & this was my final sort of filler
> 
> spoilers, it's all going downhill from here... 
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	19. you are the silence in between what i thought and what i said

  
It had done nothing!

  
Absolutely nothing!

  
She had discreetly poured the powder into Jane's drink and nothing happened. The only change she saw was the increased convulsions of Jane's body as she screamed at the dreams that plagued her mind - this time she had mentioned something about the tears of someone called Bill.

  
The mechanic had reluctantly left her to go to work this morning but had therefore given River the perfect opportunity to snoop. She knew now it couldn't have been some sort of neural block otherwise it would've been reversed.

  
Maybe it was the years of manipulation and mistrust between her and every other person in her life but there was something about Jane, her terrors and the secrets she kept that was just off.

  
River knew that Jane kept a box under her bed with her leather journal in but the other contents were unknown to her. She'd never look in the journal, as someone with a diary of her own, no matter the circumstances, River would never violate anyone's privacy like that.

  
However, the rest of the contents were of a morally grey free reign to her, which was how she found herself crouching down pulling the surprisingly heavy box out from under the bed. The clunk of the metal lock unlocking as she sonicked it open echoed thought the room, the box begrudgingly falling open. 

  
Inside, the leather journal was placed unsteadily on top of what looked like just a smaller wooden box - but why did she recognise it?

  
Her hands carefully pulled the journal from the top and latched around the box. River gently brought it into the light to inspect it and her hearts dropped, the light illuminating the carving at the bottom. 

  
_**Tabatha. G** _

  
_**Amelia. P** _

  
_**Melody. P** _

The inscriptions of her own, her mother's and grandmother's names into the wood brought her straight back to her final parting with the Doctor on Darillium.

  
The way she begged, the way he refused, the way she gave up and abandoned her last possessions with him like the dead executing their own will.

  
Why did Jane have it? 

  
Had the Doctor just thrown her away after she left, leaving her past to be picked up by reckless humans?

  
Now, without any of her previous care, River pushed the lid open. 

  
Her eyes immediately landed on the rings that had been precariously placed in clear ring boxes. The rings that happened to her her own, the ones her and the Doctor had forged over a supernova - a permanent symbol of their love.

  
Next to it, a lone pocket watch sat with whispers of words indescribably seeping out of it. River traced the Gallifreyan that had been etched into its surface as she gradually unclasped the lock, the words hitting her instantaneously...

  
_"I, I love you."_

  
_“You are not alone.”_

  
_"I said, get out. So this is me, getting out."_

  
_"You know, you act like such a lonely man. But look at you. You've got the biggest family on Earth."_

  
_"Doctor, please, please don't make me go back."_

  
_"Raggedy man, goodbye!"_

  
_"Let me be brave."_

  
_"Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit without hope, without witness, without reward."_

  
_"Sorry. Just, no. But thanks for trying."_

  
_"I'm going to name a town after you. A really rubbish one."_

  
_"Where there's tears, there's hope."_

  
_"Doctor, you won't remember any of it, any of us. Is it worth it?"_

  
River slammed the lid closed, the residue time energy dancing in front of her as the Doctor's memories permeated her mind. 

  
The Doctor mustn't have been far, the face she had spent twenty-four years with must have been in hiding or maybe he was gone - River just wished the memories included the Doctor's face so she could identify her stubborn spouse now.

  
She knew it couldn't be Jane, she _hoped_ it wouldn't be Jane. The only two she had ever loved, her madman and her mechanic, and for the Doctor's sake they better not be the same person. 

  
"The secret lies within. I'm trapped. I'm kept inside the cogs."

  
It whispered to her again. Her hands moved of their own accord and snapped it back open.

  
_"Time can be rewritten."_

  
_"Not those times. Not one line. Don't you dare. It's okay. It's okay. It's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run."_

  
_"River, you know my name."_

  
_"You whispered my name in my ear."_

  
_"There's only one reason I would ever tell anyone my name. There's only one time I could."_

  
_"Hush, now."_

  
_"Spoilers."_

  
God, she was going to die wearing that?

  
Now _that_ was a tragedy.

  
"I just think we should move it if she's had River move in. The Doctor made it pretty clear that no one can open it, what if River does?!"

  
She had little time to think as the sound of Yaz's voice called up the stairs, the other pairs of footsteps quickly following behind.

  
"Don't act like you ain't just freaking out 'cos she is getting it permanently regular now and you're just jealous."

  
"Shut up Ryan. It's not like that and you know it!"

  
"Can you two stop bickering and hurry up! I have a cheese and pickle sarnie at home with my name on it."

  
This was her choice now.

  
Hide the box, live in a state of willful ignorance and be happy, maybe.

  
Or, confrontation with those she had befriended and the loss of her love to her madman's games of deceit once again.

  
"Oh, River, hiya love. Me, Yaz and Ryan are just here to pick up somet' then we will be on our way."

  
Dammit, it was never really her choice, was it?

  
River whipped her head around, the pocket watch still clutched in one hand whilst the other grabbed the gun she had strapped under the bed.

  
"Was it this by any chance?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> penny in the air...
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	20. i can't remember if i cried when i read about his widowed bride

  
River watched as they looked sceptically, both at the gun and the pocket watch in her hand.

  
"Explain now."

  
"Come on, it's just a bit of junk that we promised we'd get clear-"

  
"Yasmin, let me tell you something you already know, this is a chameleon arch. Only found on a planet that was lost long ago and it was only in the possession of one very mad man. Explain now."

  
The three of them cowered slightly under the glare of the barrel of her gun but not enough to have never been in that position before - they definitely had been with her husband as they stood with fake bravery.

  
"River, it's complicated"

  
"Don't patronise me, Graham, I know all about complicated this seems very easy to explain."

  
She kept the gun trained on their movements as she reached for the jewellery box. River pulled her wedding rings from it and kicked the now empty box across the room. She pointed at it with the barrel, Ryan reached down hesitantly to pick it up from the floor - the three of them then crowded around him to look at it.

  
"That jewellery box was the last physical memory I had from my family. It was left on a planet four thousand galaxies away and over three thousand years in the future in the hands of the Doctor," River harshly clicked the safety off her weapon and aimed it, "Now tell me, where the hell is my husband?"

  
They all looked confusingly at one another with Graham taking a reasoning step forward. 

  
"Husband? Think you've got stuff a bit mixed up here love. River, just put the gun down and trust us."

  
Keeping her aim steady, just like Kovarian had taught her at age three, River spoke - the words slightly tearing at her throat as she ignored his plea,

  
"So where is he then? He must be close by if he has it in Jane's protection. Let me guess, he whisked you all off to see the stars and then he landed you all in inexplicable danger that led to him needing to hide?"

  
"River, if we really are talking about the same person, then you know that we can't tell you. We have to keep them safe, we know who you are to Jane but the Doctor never told us about you."

  
She really didn't matter, did she?

  
With her hearts already heavy, she temporarily lowered the gun. It had been a while since she had used any sort of psychic link with anyone but the Doctor however maybe by using the arch as a projector as such she could prove her case.

  
"Don't speak. Just watch."

  
_"Demons Run, remember? This is what they were building. My bespoke psychopath."_

  
_"I'm all yours, sweetie."_

  
_"Only River Song gets to call me that."_

  
_"And who's River Song?"_

  
_"And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven."_

  
_"Time can be rewritten."_

  
_"Don't you dare. Goodbye, River."_

  
_"Now, there you go, River Song. Melody Pond. You're the woman who married me. And wife, I have a request. This world is dying and it's my fault, and I can't bear it another day. Please, help me. There isn't another way."_

  
_"Then you may kiss the bride."_

  
_"I'll make it a good one._

  
_"You'd better."_

  
_"And Doctor River Song. Oh, you bad, bad girl. What trouble have you got for me this time?"_

  
_"Can I trust you. River Song?"_

  
_"If you like. Ha, but where's the fun in that?"_

  
_"Are you married, River?"_

  
_"Are you asking?"_

  
_"Yes."_

  
_"Yes."_

  
_"Why did you lie to me?"_

  
_"When one's in love with an ageless god who insists on the face of a twelve year old, one does one's best to hide the damage."_

  
_"It must hurt. Come here."_

  
_"Yes. The wrist is pretty bad too."_

  
_"Travel with me, then."_

  
_"Whenever and wherever you want. But not all the time. One psychopath per Tardis, don't you think?"_

  
_"The man who gave me this was the sort of man who'd know exactly how long a diary you were going to need."_

  
_"He sounds awful."_

  
_"I suppose he is. I've never really thought about it."_

  
_"But whoever said he loved me back? He's the Doctor. He doesn't go around falling in love with people. And if you think he's anything that small or that ordinary, then you haven't the first idea of what you're dealing with."_

  
_"Hello, sweetie."_

  
_"You are so doing those roots."_

  
_"What, the roots of the sunset?"_

  
_"Don't you dare."_

  
_"I'll have to check with the stars themselves."_

  
_"River, not one person on this ship, not one living thing, is worth you."_

  
_"Or you."_

  
_"All anyone will ever tell you is that when the wind stands fair and the night is perfect, when you least expect it but always when you need it the most there is a song."_

  
_"So, assuming tonight is all we have left."_

  
_"I didn't say that."_

  
_"How long is a night on Darillium?"_

  
_"Twenty four years."_

  
_"I hate you."_

  
_"No, you don't."_

  
_"Sweetie, let me choose for once. Every path I have ever chosen has led me too you and I never ran from it. I never ran from you. Let me just this once."_

  
_"See you around, Professor River Song."_

  
_"Till the next time, Doctor."_

  
River sighed tiredly as she let the memories fall from their minds, the three of them looking at her with a mix of awe and trepidation.

  
"Now, tell me where my husband is because he is the proper need of a good slap."

  
The two men looked at Yaz, obviously wishing her to lead

  
"Well, you know Ja-"

  
Her sentence was cut off as three Judoon teleported around them, the sounds of screams coming from outside told her that they had probably surrounded Leadworth entirely.

  
"So Zo Ro. To Sho Fro. So Zo To. No Fo Lo"

  
God, she hated those rhinos.

  
The Judoon ordered her to drop her gun, which she did reluctantly, and scanned the three humans diligently - chanting loudly as they marked a cross on their hands.

  
"Category, human. Fugitive match, negative." 

  
"Right ladies, before you scan me I must warn you that-"

  
"Category, unknown. Fugitive match, possible."

  
Two of the Judoon stepped forward, restraining her arms as the Captain stepped forward to scan her body again.

  
"Binary vascular system. Consistent with fugitive. Fugitive match."

  
"That's a tad bit xenophobic! We may have two hearts but it doesn't mean we are the same person, thank you very much!"

  
The three space rhinos just stared at her along with Jane's supposed 'Fam', she always hated the look from strangers at her hearts.

  
"Come on, ladies. Check your records, I have the longest record for the next millennia, me and Captain Jack had a competition. River Song, go on."

  
Audio filtered out from the scanner - the Judoon were known for being rhinos of very few words.

  
"Professor River Song, visual match. Pardoned from twelve thousand consecutive life sentences in the fifty-second century. Wanted for the corruption of women in eighteenth-century America, the burglary of three thousand and seven establishments and wanted for seven hundred and twenty interrogations for participation in the Kovarian Chapter. No contract held for River Song. Known associate of the fugitive, Doctor."

  
"You think after a century of marriage they'd at least upgrade me from associate."

  
The Judoon that had held her, released their grip and marked a cross upon her hand.

  
"Run along now, there is no fugitive here and you are just the bounty hunters, not the interrogators."

  
River slowly slipped her gun back in her hand, the watch safely tucked in her back pocket, as the Judoon stomped back into formation ready to teleport away. The sound of someone bombarding upstairs caused them to hesitate.

  
"River, you will never guess what. There are these giant rhino men outside and-"

  
Rapidly turning, all three Judoon turned to face Jane as she arrived at the top of the stairs. River prayed to whatever that was out there that she would just turn around and run, but it would never be that simple...

  
"Visual match for fugitive."

  
Fate had never been so cruel. 

  
The Doctor truly was her Jane - the truth she had been hiding from.

  
He- _she_ had never been so cruel.

  
Her hearts deflated, sinking into the deep dark pit that festered there.

  
They raised their scanners and River watched as tears streamed from the aware human's faces. It was down to her to protect ~~Jane~~ the Doctor, she was falling back into the place of being a dutiful wife.

  
"River, what's going on?"

  
"Go on, scan her! She's human, she isn't what you are looking for! She is just as human as everyone else in this village!"

  
"Category, human. Fugitive match, negative."

  
A sigh was released from every human in the room, River's being slightly more belated. 

  
The sound of another teleport caused all members of the room to spin their heads, the flash of a purple coat, a soulless smirk and a vicious laugh attracting their attention.

  
"You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the penny drops...
> 
> double chapter update!! i couldn't leave you all on that cliff hanger!
> 
> now this time you will really have to wait...
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	21. and what's good when both choices i've got have us staring down the barrel to the bullets i can't stop?

  
The figure chuckled as he stepped through the room. 

  
He stopped short in front of River and offered her a cunning smile.

  
"Oh look the Doctor's wife, her knight in shining armour. River Song? or is it Melody Pond? I think I'll stick with Melody."

  
River seethed as she watched the man jump up and down clapping his hands before suddenly stopping himself.

  
"Let me introduce myself, I'm the Master."

  
Oh. 

  
Her spouse's eldest rival stood in front of her and ordered the Judoon to aim at her with a movement of his fingers. With three guns pointed at her, when the Master went to remove the gun from her hand she reluctantly allowed it. 

  
"Melody, Melody, Melody. It's been a while since I have seen that pretty face of yours. Oh, how brilliant you could have been! Madame Kovarian's work was something marvellous for a human's standard, she moulded you into something beautifully evil. Even for an abomination of our species, you could have been something but you had to go and be weak. You chose the worthless love of someone who would never love you back!"

  
"Can you just shut up?"

  
"But I was being so nice!"

  
River rolled her eyes. She knew how infuriating this man could be, her spouse had never shut up about it but she had to be strong. 

  
She had to protect the Doctor, just like her mother had told her too, which meant keeping her 'pretty' mouth shut.

  
"I heard a lot about you, well Missy did. God, did the Doctor wallow when she was that old man! So much as think the word Darillium, he would have a temper tantrum and leave me on my own for weeks! He wouldn't even let that bald-headed egg come and pester me!"

  
At least she knew she had been remembered. 

  
If the Doctor had hurt, if he had been angry, he had cared.

  
"See from what I heard. Me and you, Melody Pond, could have ruled the entire universe." The Master stepped closer and placed a hand on her cheek, "But you had to choose to love the person that stole your parents, you chose the reason they never loved you. Not once did she care enough to think about what you needed, that you lost your parents before you had the chance to know them. The Doctor chose to leave you in Kovarian's care instead of saving you!"

  
"I told him to not save me!"

  
The Master's words were like knives to her hearts but she clung defiantly to the tears that dared to fall. 

  
"River, what's going on?"

  
Jane's voice echoed around the room and lodged itself between her racing heartbeats. Both she and the Master turned their heads to stare at the shaking posture of the amnesiac Doctor.

  
"Hush now, the Time Lords are talking! Now, where were we?"

  
He refocused his attention and moved closer towards her again, she noted the sinister insanity clouding his eyes.

  
“You know I had a human wife once.”

  
“From what I gather, you had a plaything that you used until she snapped and killed you!”

  
“And what? You think you weren’t just a plaything to pass the time to the Doctor. You are too human, you would have withered away at some point with your weak human genes. Melody, be smart, you know she never loved you.”

  
As the Master pointed to Jane, the mechanic clambered forward but was barely held back by Yaz as she shouted,

  
"I love her!"

  
"Oh sweet, even as a human she clings to that pathetic lie!"

  
With the Master laughing at the blonde, River used the distraction to raise her hand and wrap it around his throat. As soon as her own hand had wrapped around his neck, the Master's wrapped around her neck in return. 

  
"Fun, the mongrel has teeth!"

  
The Master just laughed as she tightened her grip. 

  
Did he not know River was raised to kill Time Lords?

Did he not care?

"You know what? I think you are just jealous!"

  
“What because you two got married?”

  
The Master croaked out another series of laughter under the pressure of River's hand against his throat. 

  
River used his slight state of insanity to pull the stopwatch from her back pocket and discreetly throw it across the room to Yaz, all while being unnoticed. 

  
"No, because I was the only one that managed to kill the Doctor. You were always too weak to do it, you always failed Master.”

  
She swirled his name around the tip of her tongue as he released his grip in favour of clapping his hands again like some deranged seal. 

  
"No. I admire you, Melody. And because I admire you so much, I'm going to tell you a secret! The Doctor always knew you were going to die!"

  
The Master feigned a fake gasp as he twirled around the room. He grinned at the lack of reaction on her face before continuing,

  
"You saw it, didn't you? The chameleon arch showed you! The day you died was the day you met, it was the start of it all for them!" 

  
River had heard the whispers from thousands across the universe about their star-crossed tale.

  
She had just never wanted to listen.

  
"Once we finally picked up the trail of her DNA, I decided that I was going to finally end the Doctor - take away the false God as she paraded as a human but you see Melody if I kill you now that means you and the Doctor will never have met that fateful day - it would unravel your entire future and her entire past!"

  
Jumping up and down, he reached inside his coat and pulled out his own gun. River defiantly stared down the barrel as the Master pointed it at her head from across the room, she needed a way out - there had _always_ been a way out. 

  
She watched as the Doctor struggled against the other human's grip as she screamed and pleaded for River's safety. 

  
"You can't do this! The paradox will tear time apart, trust me I have seen it. Master, think this through."

  
"Melody, I know! I am the only Lord of Time alive after all! I can stand in the ruins of this miserable universe and torture you all till it ends, how fun! You know what the other good part is, I get to kill you in front of the Doctor and she doesn't even know who you truly are!"

  
River took one final step backwards, it was finally her time. 

  
She had survived so much from the Silence and Kovarion to the Weeping Angels, she would finally lose her life to the man who despised yet loved her spouse probably just as much as she did. 

  
Her final choice had been taken, the one the chameleon arch had shown her, just like everything else in her life.

  
With a heavy sigh, she closed her eyes and let the world melt away. River found peace imagining she was back on that balcony at Darillium - the song of the towers there when she needed it most.

  
She could even hear the whispers of her parents voice catching on the wind.

  
"Judoon, make sure the humans get a good look, especially the blonde. I'm truly not sorry for ruining the story for you, Doctor. What was that word that you two love so much? Spoilers!"

  
The gunshot echoed throughout the room.

  
She took a deep breath in ready to feel the pain but there was nothing...

  
River slowly peeled one eye open as she heard several thuds and a cacophony of screams. She looked down to find the Doctor crumbled at her feet, a red flow of blood drowning her leather boots.

  
"You stupid idiot!"

  
She fell to the floor along with her wife as the Master paced the room. 

  
"She can't die when she doesn't remember! That's not fair, she can't have the easy way out!" 

  
River heaved her body into her arms, embracing her body as she placed pressure on the wound. The Doctor coughed, her eyes clouded as she offered a weak smile. 

  
Silence deafened the room. 

  
The Judoon had formed a wall with themselves in an attempt to stop the others getting to them whilst the Master rocked in the corner - the gun scattered across the floor. River kissed her forehead before looking up with pleading eyes.

  
"I can't save her. Not this time."

  
"I can."

  
Yaz's broken voice rang through the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eek......
> 
> thanks for the comments and kudos, you guys are probably the only reason I find the motivation to keep this going <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	22. through the cold, i'll find my way back to you

_"Long time, no see old friend."_

  
_Jack stood in front of a pile of rubble, the ashes of a door lingering in the air. He stepped forward and moved the hair that slightly covered her eyes. The new light from his entrance highlighted the tally marks that scattered across the grey walls and the grime that covered her hands._

  
_"And I've got to say I love the upgrade. Man or woman, you pull both of exquisitely."_

  
_"Jack?"_

  
_"The man, the myth, the legend himself. Did you really think we'd let you waste away on this old asteroid for eternity? Get your coat, we're going back to Earth Doc."_

  
_She attempted to pull herself to her feet but was defeated by her apparent lack of energy. Jack just grimaced as he offered to lift her up._

  
_"You are not carrying me."_

  
_"Thought you'd say that."_

  
_She felt the syringe pierce her skin before she felt the heaviness drag across her body, the exhaustion catching up to her._

  
_"I see you've still got a man's pride."_

  
_A second voice called to her as she fought unconsciousness._

  
_"Doctor, you'll be okay."_

  
_The grogginess wore off pretty quickly, Jack was never any good at measuring things correctly and she defiantly pushed herself off his shoulder._

  
_"Easy there, watch the face!"_

  
_Jack placed her down on the floor, her feet wobbling as she turned._

  
_Her Fam stood around her with far too much blood on them. The three humans quickly crowded her, giving her a hug whilst she begged for the tears to come._

  
_Four thousand years ( on her last count anyway) had lead her to feel nothing - her hearts just didn't suffer the way they used to._

  
_"I love a group hug more than anyone though preferably with less clothes but we are currently in the middle of a prison break if we could get a move on?"_

  
_"Come on. It's not safe for you lot here."_

  
_Jack lead them forward with the Doctor close behind, the Fam trailing behind her. It was the first time in a few millennia that she had seen anything but those 4 walls but this prison she knew better than any._

  
_"Sorry, it took me so long Doctor. There was a bit of trouble with your friends getting through to Torchwood."_

  
_"How'd you know I was here?"_

  
_She buried her hands in her pockets as they wandered through the surprisingly silent prison - she thought there would be more screaming and alarms but there was just silence._

  
_"Sleeping with the right person gets you all sort of information and actually finding you wasn't that hard. There are only two floors within this entire prison that only hold one prisoner and the other one is our wife."_

  
_"Our wife?"_

  
_The Doctor raised her eyebrow at him. She would never be possessive of River, that just wasn't how they worked but there was always that tiny burst of jealousy whenever she thought of River with another - even another face of her own._

  
_"Yeah, great hair, wonderful with her tongue and her hands on that matter too and-"_

  
_"I know my own wife Jack, is she...?"_

  
_"Sorry Doctor, she's not here. River was officially pardoned a few years back in this timeline, you would've only missed her by a few decades."_

  
_The Doctor knew she shouldn't have asked._

  
_Now the first emotions she had processed in a millennia were jealousy and grief._

  
_Why wouldn't the universe just let her cheat one more time with her wife?_

  
_River deserved that happiness more than any._

  
_"Don't tell me you drove my TARDIS!"_

  
_Her TARDIS came into view, the five of them running through the doors surprisingly without being chased - apparently, they were used to a TARDIS flying in and out, Jack had used a specific silenced bomb and the Fam had killed every possible witness._

  
_Another group of soldiers she had created, added to the already long list which included Martha and River._

  
_"Nah Doc, it actually flew itself. Jack tried pressing a few buttons but it started shaking us all about."_

  
_"What did I tell you Jack?! She doesn't like complicated space-time events and you are a massive walking one!"_

  
_As she entered, the Doctor threw herself over the console allowing the warmth of the TARDIS to comfort her aching bones._

  
_"Doctor! What are you doing!"_

  
_That lasted all of five seconds._

  
_A hologram of Gat was produced behind her causing her to slowly turn around and lift her head,_

  
_"This is me getting out."_

  
_"Oh Doctor, we will find you and you will continue to pay for what you've done! You can't run forever, we won't need the Master to track you down this time!"_

  
_"You watch me run."_

  
_The Doctor gave her a smirk as she closed the transmission. She immediately began a conversation with the TARDIS, pleading for what she needed. A small compartment opened and she slowly placed her hand in a pulled the old pocket watch from inside._

  
_"Doctor, what's that?"_

  
_Yaz inquisitively asked while Jack looked at her with desperation._

  
_"There has to be another way!"_

  
_"Not this time. It's time for a fresh start and this is the only way to keep us all safe."_

  
_"Doctor, you can't just hide! You need to stop them, how long will it be before they find you!"_

  
_Jack defiantly berated her but was cut off by Graham,_

  
_"Doc, what is it?"_

  
_"It's called a Chameleon Arch. It's the same thing Ruth used to hide from them and it worked."_

  
_"But she had no clue who she was?"_

  
_The Doctor sighed._

  
_Why did they question her?_

  
_She had a duty of care to these three humans, to protect them even if that wasn't what they thought she was doing._

  
_"It's the only way to keep us all safe. A fresh start, no Master or Division. I will leave you instructions for you all to keep us safe but you have to understand no one can ever change me back. No matter what."_

  
_The idea of not remembering the past few millennia seemed like a great relief._

  
_She didn't want to remember, it was just too much now._

  
_Heavy stares off her companions shrouded her figure. She resisted the pressure and painted on the best smile she could._

  
_"We haven't got long, come on, Fam. You four go keep yourself busy for a bit while I set this up. Oh, and one of you are probably gonna have to carry me once it's done, knocks you out proper good this thing."_

  
_Graham, Jack and Ryan hesitantly wandered out of the room whilst a defiant Yaz latched onto her wrist, forcing her to face her._

  
_"Doctor, you won't remember any of it, any of us. Is it worth it?"_

  
That really, really hurt.

  
Never mind the bullets she felt lodged in her left kidney and in her right heart - why did it have to catch her favourite one!

  
"Sweetie?..."

  
She hadn't heard that one in a while.

  
"River..."

  
She slowly opened her heavy eyes and found River's teary ones staring right back at her. The Doctor could already feel the regeneration energy daring to escape, she was desperately holding on. 

  
This face hadn't loved River Song long enough yet. 

  
"Wife, would you give me a hand?"

  
River lifted her to her feet, the flexing of her muscles definitely not temporarily distracting her, but she felt a cold shiver chill her spine as she watched her wife step away like she had been burned.

  
"Doctor, you remember."

  
"Well done for stating the obvious."

  
The Master laughed his haunted chuckle at her response. Apparently having recollected himself from his earlier panic, he wandered in front of her, a smug smile on his face. 

  
"I can kill you now!"

  
He revealed a hidden dagger from his sleeve and traced the edge of her jaw with its tip. 

  
"I don't think so."

  
The Doctor pulled River's sonic screwdriver from her pocket, which she had secretly pickpocketed from her love, and sonicked the metal causing the Master to release his grip with a hiss. 

  
She took his momentary distraction to check on River and her fam, who had been uncharacteristically quiet. Her gang had moved from behind the Judoon, who stood solemnly awaiting orders, and she could just about make out Graham's arm around River in a supportive embrace. Yaz still clung to the open pocket watch as the whispers coming from it slowly faded as they rejoined her mind.

  
Discreetly, she used her hand to motion them to move. Yaz, ever the policewoman, noticed straight away and quietly manoeuvred them from behind her.

  
If River had been acting like River right now, she would've psychically connected with her and told her. 

  
If River had been acting like River right now, she knew she would've been being shouted at for being a sentimental idiot.

But River wasn't acting like River right now.

  
She had a duty of care to every human and part human in the room and she wasn't going to let them down, not again.

  
"I found out you were the one that helped the Division, you told them where they'd find me. You made sure I would either die or become imprisoned whether that was in a cell or as a Cyberman. You know they locked me up in there for what... 4000 years, that gave me time to think. You should never ever give me time to think." 

  
The Doctor could feel her grip on her regeneration slipping but she had practised this - after all, it was how she had managed to keep this face after all those years.

  
"I'm what you came from, I don't play by your Time Lord rules, Master. You will never understand what I am capable of. I think you forget I was the one who burned our planet first. You will never be me, never beat me, no matter how hard you try." 

  
"KILL HER!"

  
"Fugitive is non-hostile. Fugitive must be alive when passed to client."

  
The Doctor just chuckled as she tilted her head, giving one last glance at the Master. She watched his manic state as he snatched a gun from one of the Judoon.

  
"I will do it myself then. This is just how it should be, I can play the executioner this time."

  
Bullets blistered through the air once again but this time it was different, the Doctor's laugh ringing out.

  
Steadily, she lifted her head with a smirk on her face, her arms tingling with regeneration.

  
"Tip I learnt from the wife, never shoot a girl why she's regenerating!"

  
She spread her arms wide. 

  
The regeneration energy catapulted the Judoon and the Master to the floor but she could also feel it healing the aches of her body - just like it had done on those several occasions when she had nearly starved in her forgotten cell.

  
"Phew, I needed that." 

  
The Doctor stretched her arms before turning to the only other conscious people in the room.

  
"Now all I need is a good nap. River, have you got your vortex manipulator?"

  
The Fam and River trailed over quietly. River peeled herself from Graham's supportive half embrace as he began to move. 

  
"River?"

  
Her words pulled her wife from her spaced-out state, she knew River now knew how it all ended for her in that stupid library - no one should ever have that much foreknowledge, it tears you apart.

  
She knew that from personal experience.

  
"Er...Yes."

  
The archaeologist smiled. 

  
The Doctor knew it was fake.

  
It seemed they had already fallen back into their old ways.

  
River lifted her wrist, allowing the Doctor to guide everyone's hands onto the vortex manipulator. 

  
"It's cheap and nasty time travel so it won't cope that well with five of us, so hold on. Oh and prepare for a bit of a headache."

  
As River went to type the coordinates of the TARDIS, which had finally been revealed to her psychically from the TARDIS herself, the Doctor gently moved her free hand to River's but her wife only harshly moved her hand away - dismissing her attempt at comfort altogether.

  
They all zapped away, reappearing in the dimmed console room of the TARDIS, and removed their hands from River's arm. A dull ache pounded in her head as she stepped away, she immediately felt the darkness begin to permeate her vision.

  
"Gang, bit of a problem here. I'm gonna pass out in like 2 minutes," She shakily stook her finger up her nose, "Oh, make that 40 seconds. Actually, make that fou-" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 22/24 that is scary...
> 
> all kudos and comments are appreciated so much!!! <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	23. pleasure's got a thousand faces but none of them will play the realist

That nap had done her the world of good!

  
Slowly, the Doctor peeled her eyes open and propped herself up on her elbows. The curled up figure that sat on the end of the bed immediately caught her attention.

  
"Doctor!"

  
Yaz flung herself towards her, arms embracing her tightly whilst also slightly choking the Doctor's lungs of oxygen.

  
"What happened? Last thing I remember we were using River's vortex manipulator to get here."

  
She plastered on her facade as Yaz rambled on about how the TARDIS directed them to carry her passed out form to Yaz's room. River had apparently disappeared as soon as she had placed the Doctor on the bed but had refused beforehand to let anyone else carry her in.

  
The Doctor wondered why the TARDIS had chosen Yaz's room of all places. 

  
Why not let her in her own? The one that River was surely holed up in?

  
"Doctor, can I ask you something?"

  
"If you want."

  
"Is River really your wife? And did she really die the day you met her?"

  
This was the part when she usually pulled out the flowchart.

  
"Yes and sadly yes."

  
"If you knew she was gonna die, why did you marry her?"

  
She had asked herself that question a million times since the library. 

  
Maybe she was just a masochist.

  
"River Song isn't the type of woman you get to choose to fall in love with, you just do. Look at me, I fell in love with her all over again when I didn't even remember who she truly was to me."

  
The Doctor had to choose to ignore the pained look in Yaz's eyes. 

  
It was the same one that Martha had whenever she had mentioned Rose.

  
"Right, I better go and talk to her - she'll surely want to know what's been going on."

  
She rose, with Yaz still silent sat on the edge of the bed. 

  
"Doctor?"

  
"Yeah?

  
"I'm glad you are back."

  
The Doctor didn't respond as she ran from the room.

  
\-------------

  
"Come on! I need to talk to her!"

  
If her Fam didn't already know she was mad, they definitely would now as she stood shouting at the walls. For the past half an hour the Doctor had been attempting to get to their bedroom, to see River, but the TARDIS just wasn't having it.

  
"Yes, I do understand that she is the child of the TARDIS and you can kick me out or incinerate me whenever you want, okay?!"

  
That must have finally done the trick as the hallways shifted once again and the door to their bedroom came into view. Tentatively, the Doctor inched the door open, the soft tune of a lullaby spilt out of the crack - the same one the TARDIS played for River whenever awoke from a nightmare.

  
With one final deep breath, she entered the room and her eyes immediately fell upon the silhouette of her wife's back. The lights suddenly brightened and the lullaby halted, signalling her entrance, but River gave no reaction.

  
"Hiya..."

  
The Doctor tried her best to keep her usual confidence however as she saw her wife's movements to wipe away the tears on her cheeks, her voice crumbled.

  
"You promised, no more hiding the damage River."

  
"That wasn't with you."

  
"It was with me River!"

  
"BUT IT WASN'T YOU!"

  
River turned, her eyes were bloodshot with tears and a determination was present in her voice to stop it from shaking.

  
"It wasn't supposed to be you, Doctor, just this once. I think I knew deep down, God it was obvious! They called you 'Doc' for Christ's sake and it was like you had fallen from the stars themselves - in a way you had."

  
"River, please..."

  
"What Doctor?"

  
Her wife lifted her hand to her neck and clasped it around the necklace the Doctor had gifted her at Christmas. River had worn it proudly for the past few months which had passed since but now she harshly yanked it from around her neck. There was a venom present in her voice that the Doctor had never been subjected too.

  
"You want to apologise and make up? Plead your case and blame it on anything but yourself? You were the only reason I ended up in Leadworth again!"

  
River launched the necklace across the room - it hit the Doctor straight in the chest, the metal scratched her cheek by the sheer strength of the throw.

  
"I was trying to send you back to Luna, to make sure you didn't do anything reckless! I wouldn't have deliberately sent you there River!"

  
"Reckless?! I’m not you, Doctor. I don’t need some human to keep me on my leash. I would’ve been perfectly fine!"

  
The Doctor closed her eyes in an attempt to recollect herself and her temper which dared to flare - for once she would be the one to hide her own damage and not force River to hide, not now, not this time.

  
"Why does it always have to be you? Everything I have ever done has always been about you. I was taken from Amy because of you. I was stripped of having a family and forced to watch my parents choose anything but a life with me because of you. It would always be you or themselves, never their own daughter. Maybe I should've listened to the universe on that pyramid when it told me loving you would tear it apart, tear me apart. I loved you and I waited. I always did but it would never be enough for you, would it?

  
Unbridled anger radiated from River as she stepped closer and closer. The Doctor stood silent, her wife's anger was centuries overdue and she wouldn't be cowardly or cruel and she would take it. 

  
"You just take and take until there is nothing left! I die for you Doctor because your twisted version of love is the only one I have ever known! My first and final breath were tainted by you!"

  
River's hands pushed upon her shoulders, catapulting both of them into the wall, the Doctor's back crashing against it. She pressed herself against her to imprison the Doctor between her body and the wall - the Time Lord, however, gave no resistance which seemed to only aggravate her wife further.

  
"For once in your life just do something! Be the God I was taught to hate and make it easier for both of us!"

  
River raised her hand to strike her but the Doctor caught it like she always would. They both had known one another long enough to know there was no true malice behind her actions.

  
"I hate you." 

  
The Doctor slowly lent up and silenced her with a hesitant kiss on her lips.

  
"I know."

  
All of a sudden the Doctor's lips are on hers again, this time crushing them whilst strong hands gripped her hair to pull them as close as possible. Either or both of them moaned, it was hard to tell, as River placed her hands under the Doctor's thighs. She easily lifted her up then forcefully dropped her on the bed to straddle her hips.

  
This was how they had always fixed things. 

  
Both of them were known for using their words to solve the problems of the universe but when they were together, touch was the only language they could truthfully speak. 

  
A pair of handcuffs clicking around her wrists made the Doctor refocus on her wife. 

  
For the first time in a while for the Doctor, not Jane, she felt truly wanted even if there was a rage to her wife's lust.

  
River hovered above her and moved her hands to retrieve a switchblade from her cleavage. The Doctor moaned and nodded her head in consent as River pressed the blade against the material of her clothes. The fabric catches, yanks tight against the back of the Doctor's neck and then gives, tearing under the sharp metal and River methodically cuts down the front of her entire shirt. She pushed it to the sides and made an approving noise as she caressed the Doctor's abdomen with her eyes - less hatred visible in them for the first time.

  
Her breathing hitches as River's hot gaze trails down her body. The Doctor could physically feel the weight of her eyes as she traced over every muscle, every curve and dip and hollow, over where she knew the bullets had entered earlier. River looked at her as though she was seeing her for the first time, that she had finally realised this body was the Doctor's, not Jane's.

  
River slid off her, the Doctor immediately wincing at her absence. The professor dragged her empty hand down her chest, nails leaving sharp pink lines in their path all the way down to the waistband of her pants. Without so much of a show, River rid herself of her own clothes, causing the Doctor to burn with desire as her eyes traced the curves of the body she had treasured for what seemed like forever.

  
Repositioning herself on top of the Doctor, she arched up against the soft naked skin of her wife's thighs as they encased her hips. The fingers of one of her hands ran up the Doctor's smooth stomach and cupped her bra-clad breast whilst the other still held the knife. She brought it up to the Doctor's delicate throat in one swift move. The Doctor tilted her head back to avoid the bite of the blade and stared into River's eyes with pure desire as the knife was trailed slowly along with her pulse point. 

  
The Doctor can't help but sadden when she notes her wife's usual smirk isn't there. It's not like when they had done this before.

  
Maybe nothing will ever be like it was before.

  
She retracts the knife from against her next, the Doctor's heavy breaths clouding the room as River lowered the switchblade and used it to cut her suspenders and pants off. The Doctor pulled at the restraints around her wrist when the sharp blade nicked her skin gently. Her wife's movements stop causing her to open her eyes.

  
The Doctor looked down to see that River had dropped the knife next to her and instead her knuckles lingered against the Doctor's already soaked underwear. She knows that if River would just add that bit of pressure, she'd come. She also knew that River definitely knew that, a devilish look gracing her features.

  
River always knew what she needed. The Doctor knew River loved it when she could play her spouse like this, she had read the pages upon pages of her wife describing her nights with her past faces. 

  
But River just held her hand there until she begged,

  
"Please..."

  
River bit her lip and moved her hand away, only this time to quickly grab the knife and to cut the sides of the Doctor's underwear with efficient movements. A sense of serenity swept through her when River pushed her fingers into her.

  
There is a twist of the fingers, then her thumb is brushing her clit, one, two, three.

  
Every muscle in her nobody tenses as her back arches. There is no fascination with it like she thought there would be the first time in this body except just a tunnel vision on the rough movements of her wife inside of her.

  
Sparks fly behind her closed eyelids as she comes but River doesn't stop. She lowered her head between her legs, her tongue joining her hand's incessant speed. The Doctor found the presence of the handcuffs around her wrist even more torturous as all she wished was to bury her hands in her wife's curls, to ground herself with something. 

  
With River's face buried between her legs, the Doctor felt cosmic peace.

  
How long would that last?

\------------

  
She had been lay watching River breathe for at least five minutes and she was already bored. With a well practised execution, the Doctor released her hands from the handcuffs that still bounded her.

  
An exhausted yawn was released from the Doctor as she let her head fall backwards onto the pillow. For the first time since Darillium, the many walls of the TARDIS felt like home with her wife's body lay within it. Hours had passed since she had first entered the room and it was the first time it had been quiet since. 

  
River had turned to face anything but the Doctor, leaving her back exposed to the dimmed light and now to her wife's hesitant touch. As soon as the Doctor's hand began tracing Gallireyan into her skin, River spoke,

  
"How did you manage to get out of them? They were supposed to keep you occupied."

  
"River, you've been my wife for at least a few billion years, counting the confession dial. Of course, I know my way around a pair of handcuffs."

  
Cautiously, the Doctor inched froward and wrapped her arm around her waist. River moved her hand to link with the Doctor's and tugged her against her. Her finger's tentatively traced the skin of the Doctor's naked wedding finger as she pillowed into her wife's unruly mass of curls.

  
"I couldn't find it after I regenerated. The TARDIS found it for me though but I wanted to keep it safe. They must still be at the flat, I will-" 

  
"Don't." 

  
The Doctor removed her hand from River's and used it to tilt her wife's face around and into view. 

  
Her eyes locked onto hers. 

  
Those eyes that had seen too much, lost too much and harboured an ever-growing shadow ever since she had regenerated into that beautiful face.

  
"River..." 

  
"You can make your excuses in the morning, Sweetie." 

  
Collapsing against River's back and holding her, the Doctor hid her face again in her curls as she whispered,

  
"Yeah, in the morning."

  
In her wife's embrace, she slept for the first time as the Doctor since before her imprisonment.

_"Why don't you like hugging, Doctor?_

  
_"Never trust a hug. It's just a way to hide your face."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one chapter left and i cannot believe that cue my large thank you next chapter because i could never have done this without you all! 
> 
> every single comment and kudo is appreciated <3
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @wckdroot on twitter


	24. and then the devil took your memory

  
Her eyes slowly opened, the cold of the world around her immediately chilling her bones. 

  
River tiredly turned in search of the Doctor for warmth - she may have been extremely mad at her wife but that didn't mean she was going stop her own indulgences.

  
As her hand hit the empty space next to her, she finally took in her surroundings.

  
This wasn't the TARDIS. It was far from it with its papered walls and hanging photo frames - Amy had claimed everyone needed a picture of them with their parents in their room, River had had to put a perception filter on it so she wouldn't make eye contact with whilst she was having sex.

  
She steadily sat up as she looked down at her surprisingly clothed body. 

  
The Doctor was always particularly handy when it came to River's clothes.

  
Stretching her aching bones, the flash of metal caught her eye. Her hand immediately reached upon her bedside cabinet to find two things: her wedding ring and a blue envelope.

  
She should've seen it coming.

  
Her spouse had done what she had always done best.

  
The Doctor had run.

  
River slipped the wedding ring upon her finger and she lifted it into the subtle sun rays to watch it glisten. With a deep breath, she dropped her hand instead turning her attention to the envelope. Hesitantly, she reached forward and pinched it between her fingers.

  
The teardrops that already stained the envelope did nothing but expand the heaviness that was blossoming in her hearts.

  
"What have you done now, Sweetie?"

  
She murmured to herself before tearing the envelope, her eyes slowly reading the ink in front of her,

_Dear ~~River~~ ~~Melody~~ ~~Wife~~ ,_

_See, I don't even know how to start this._

_Maybe I should explain first._

_River, a lot has happened since Darillium. I don't think I have enough pages to explain it all but it's over now. More people have died and suffered because of me but you probably already know that. You have always known me and my life better than I know it myself._

_Nardole came along with a girl named Bill and saved me from myself, from the growing pit of grief I was ready to throw myself into. I lost them like I always do, but then when I got this body I found the fam._

_I guess that's where it all began._

_A very long story short is that I was hiding from the Master with them. I had escaped from a Gallifreyan prison he had helped put me in. I truly didn't know I would end up in Leadworth of all places, I guess the TARDIS just thought she was bringing me home._

_This past year has been good, hasn't it?_

_I got to know you all over again, in order this time. I got to be a constant in your life and I think that makes me happier than I deserve._

_I wish there was a way that I could stay. A way that I could rewind to yesterday when you didn't know when I didn't know and when we had a future. But I made a promise to you, that I would never rewrite time for us._

_Our happy ever after was limited to those twenty-four perfect years and then I had to say goodbye, River._

_I had to let you go._

_I know you’d wait for me forever if you could, you take after Amelia with that, but it’s time for you to let go of me._

_Don’t become the woman that waited._

_It's hard to write that what the Master said in the flat was true but it was. But only about the day I met you. The truth is what you deserve sweetie. I met you in that library and I lost you there too. You were brave, so brave and you sacrificed yourself to save not just me and Donna but 4022 strangers. I watched you die before I even had the chance to love you._

_And I do love you._

_Which means, I know all of you wife, even if you think you hide parts of yourself away. So I know you have probably realised something is up and something is._

_Maybe I had done this all along, maybe you lied with your final words and put our final meeting at Darillium because I told you too. But I can't, I can't take that chance River and let you remember this face. I am too much of a coward to take that from you in front of you._

_You will probably recognise the paper and even the ink if you took a closer look, Bowtie got it on one of your adventures together on Memoria. Its hidden talent, it makes the reader forget whatever the sender wishes them too and I wish you to forget this face and every truth that came with it, River._

_I promise you it won't hurt and I beg you to understand that this is to protect us, to protect you. You can't remember how you die, River, it is too dangerous never mind the knowledge of this face of mine._

_Come along Pond, our story is finished. Well for me anyway because you still have one final chapter to come._

_We are all stories in the end but me and you Melody Pond wrote the best one ever told._

_Now, my love, close your eyes and forget me._

_Goodbye, River._

  
With tears streaming down her cheeks, River could only watch as the ink rose from the page and sunk into her skin. 

  
Her eyelids grew heavy despite River's attempt at resilience. She sobbed as her body collapsed onto the bed, her body finally shutting itself down. 

  
\-------------

  
Her eyes slowly opened, the cold of the world around her immediately chilling her bones. 

  
A deep yawn racked her body as River sat up. She moaned when her head ached with her movements, it felt just like a day after one of her and Jack's hundred night intergalactic pub crawls.

  
She looked down at her full hands, a blank piece of paper clutched between them. River threw the piece of useless stationery to the floor and dragged herself from her bed. All she needed was a few painkillers and some water, it was the best hangover cure she could manage in this century. 

  
"Melody, breakfast is ready!"

  
River tiptoed down the stairs at the sound of her father's voice. Entering the kitchen, she saw her parents sat at the table, two similar pieces of paper and envelopes strewn at the end of the table. River reached into the medicine cupboard and popped six painkillers for herself, bloody Time Lord DNA.

  
"Give me some of those my head is banging." 

  
Amy and Rory both asked which River diligently responded by giving them to them both. She took her seat across from them and tucked into the breakfast her Dad had attempted to make - no one in their family had particularly great cooking skills. River couldn't help but sadden at the Melody Malone book held in her mother's hands as she spoke,

  
"So me and your Dad were thinking of where we should ask the Doctor to go next and we were thinking Manhattan."

  
River nearly choked on the bacon that she was in the midst of swallowing. So this was it?

  
This would probably be the last Pond family breakfast, no doubt that her husband would sweep in soon enough and take them to their deaths. 

  
"Are you okay?"

  
Rory, ever the worrying nurse/father stood to check up on his daughter but was waved off as she finally managed to swallow it and mutter, 

  
"Sounds great."

  
"I know you don't want to see the Doctor, but are you sure you don't want to come with us? He misses you you know and we hardly get the opportunity to have us all together?"

  
"I'm going to have to pass on that one, Mother. I think it's time I get a move on anyway, you know me Mother there are planets to save and people to kiss."

  
Amy reached across the table and took her hand in her own.

  
"Melody..."

  
"Now Mother, don't you remember I'm a very in demand woman. I have been being badgered by this man called Mr Lux to go on an expedition to a planet that is just one rather large library. Apparently, everyone just disappeared from within its walls and they could never find the source. Once I have finished up there, I promise you I will come and see you."

  
If she had enough time if she was a good girl and was able to pin point the exact time before he came.

  
"You are not allowed to go dying in a library, you better be careful, Melody Pond."

  
"Aren't I always?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* hey look, there is a sequel
> 
> and we finally reach the end of crying lightning cue my uncontrollable sadness :0
> 
> thank you all so so much for your comments and kudos, they honestly made my day and they are the only reason this fic ever got finished 50k words later. this isn't the end for these two, don't you worry
> 
> i don't think i can accurately some up all the love i have for you all <3 
> 
> as always you can find me on twitter and tumblr (mostly twitter)
> 
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr  
> @sapphicriver on twitter


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